As you probably already know, the most important meeting of modern political minds happened this week in New York City when fake presidential candidate Donald Trump met up with semi-fake presidential candidate Sarah Palin to discuss whatever it is that wealthy pseudo-celebrities discuss when they're not out creating pseudo-events other than the one they're creating by meeting up in the first place.
And Trump really rolled out the red carpet for Palin, taking her and her family out for a slice of pizza at Famous Famiglia's in Times Square, whose fare has recently been described as "a slice that tastes like a manila folder with Ragu slathered all over it."
Well, on Wednesday night's "Daily Show," host Jon Stewart had something to say about Trump's taste in New York style pizza. A lot of something to say about it, actually. Beginning with:
STEWART: I've eaten there, that pizza is fine. I used to eat there a lot when I was working next door at Caroline's Comedy Club. It's good convenience pizza. Back in the 80s there weren't a lot of food options in Times Square. It was Famiglia's pizza or edible underwear from one of the porn shops. Then Giuliani took that option away. You know, Donald, I don't want to say anything, but if you're taking an esteemed visitor to get real New York pizza, Famiglia's ain't it.
With Stewart's audience loudly concurring, Stewart went on an extended rant in which he joked that Famiglia's could also be found at "terminal four of the Phoenix airport," offered up several more authentic pizza options, critcized Trump's slice stacking, finally reaching a height of apoplexy at the sight of Trump going at his pie with a fork, as if he were from outer space or something. Then Stewart moved on to a proper demonstration of both New York-style pizza-eating technique and New York City-style profanity, before concluding: "Based on how you eat pizza, Donald, I want to see your long form birth certificate. I don't think you were really born in New York."
One thing that Stewart didn't touch on was why Trump, who is ostensibly a rich and well-connected man, would drag Palin to Time Square to eat at a chain restaurant. Well, as Village Voice music editor Maura Johnston recalled on Wednesday, "Just FYI, Palin and Trump's visit to Famous Famiglia was also a little bit of synergy with The Celebrity Apprentice." Indeed, various Celebrity Apprentice "stars" were dispatched to Famiglia's 8th and Broadway location back in October, to promote the show.
So what drew Trump and Palin to Famiglia's? The sucking vortex of reality-goddamned-television. What did you expect?