Funny Joke: At Heaven's Door

06/05/2011 05:20 pm ET | Updated Aug 05, 2011

All arrivals in Heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

One day, the first applicant of the morning explained that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed," he began. "She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry, and I checked the shower and it was completely dry, too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky, so I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and plummeted, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive, I found superhuman strength, and dragged our antique cedar chest to the balcony and threw it over. It landed right on the man and killed him instantly. At this moment, the stress finally got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."

The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office. The second applicant also said that his last day was the worst of his life. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the air-conditioning equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building, yet I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment. But some idiot came rushing out onto the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings and bushes -- and I survived! But as I looked up, I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but I was too slow, and the chest killed me." The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directed the man to the next room. He was still giggling when his third customer of the day entered. "I'm sorry for laughing," he said, "but no matter what story you tell me, I doubt that it will be as interesting as the one the last fellow just told me." "I don't know" replied the man. "Picture this: I'm buck naked and hiding in this cedar chest..."

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