Three Out Of Four Women Would Not Marry An Unemployed Man: Report

NEW YORK (Richard Chang) - Most women would marry for love over money -- unless the man is unemployed, according to a new survey.

Three out of four women said they would not wed someone without a job, and 65 percent would feel uncomfortable tying the knot if they themselves were jobless.

But more than 91 percent of single women said they would marry for love over money.

"It is ironic that women place more weight on love than money, yet won't marry if they or their potential suitor is unemployed," said Meghan Casserly, of ForbesWoman which conducted the survey with the website YourTango.com.

Even more telling, she said, is that 77 percent of women surveyed believe they can have it all -- a fulfilling relationship and family life, as well as a successful career.

But 63 percent of women said they work 40-59 hours, and 62 percent of women in a relationship said they spend just three waking hours or less with their partner during the work week.

"The career is really taking the No. 1 position for working women," Casserly said. "It's pretty ironic that this number of women believe they can have everything. How? When?"

Two out of five women in a relationship said their job was most likely to keep them up at night, according to the poll of 625 women. Job responsibilities and love life tied as the factors most likely to keep single women awake.

Thirty-two percent of women said they make more money than their partner and half said they would marry someone who earned significantly less than them, while 41 percent wouldn't.

Fifty-five percent of women said they would give up their career to take care of children if their partner asked them to do so. But only 28 percent would ask the same of their partner.

If women could find an extra hour in each day, 42 percent would spend it by themselves, instead of with their partner, friends or family or on work.

The survey results are available here and here.

Copyright 2011 Thomson Reuters. Click for Restrictions.

Comments

[langleyxpz]

07:39 AM on 06/26/2011

Someone mentioned Adam and Eve.Shouldn't that be Adam and Evelyn?What was their last name anyway.Our preacher says their last name was Roberts.

[mothernaturecat4]

06:56 AM on 06/26/2011

Men in our society no longer have a reason to get married,be resposible or grow up.They can get uncommited sex everywhere for free or paid.They can cook or eat out,clean or leave their apt dirty.They get to keep all their money and time for theirselves.In the old days women cooked,cleaned,raised children and didn't have sex unless they were married.Many men bum off women and women desperate for a man allow it.As women we are natural care givers.We see men as poor,lost little boys.We want to protect and care for them.Men have learned how to use this against us.I have heard men brag to other men how they have some stupid old lady at home that pays the bills while he partys and does all her friends.As women we need to set higher standards and let go of all losers.No sex before marriage worked.Men had to marry you to get sex.Now they have no reason at all and every reason not to.

[Beth Horne]

08:32 AM on 06/26/2011

AMEN! My late ex-husband was a leech. I worked two jobs, one very high paying job that was extremely stressful, and then I also worked in the evenings perfoming in theatre in either lead or supporting roles, for which I also was well paid. I worked my butt off to support his lazy (but good-looking) butt, his daughter and mine for a year and a half, with an engagement ring (that I paid for) on my finger. The only reason we married was because when I asked what he wanted for his birthday, he said 'All I want is to marry you'. What could I say? He was good to the kids, but the house was a wreck, nothing ever was clean! So I put some pressure on him to get a job. After paying for his training, he finally got a job. Four weeks later, I got a call at my office 'I don't need to be married anymore, I want a divorce'. Oh, he got one, alright! It was an ugly scene for years, and of course as soon as he found someone else to mooch off of, he lost the job. I learned my lesson, no job, no ME!!!

[msw62msw]

08:49 AM on 06/26/2011

Your complaint seems to be that women no longer have the guaranteed money and security provided by a husband, so they should withhold sex untl they get it again. Is that why most divorces are initiated by women? Divorce gives the woman the money without the need to provide the sex.

[NoBlueDogs]

11:24 AM on 07/05/2011

Women have been marrying men for thousands of years without a job or money. Of course I'm sure I'm going to get tons of howling angry people yelling at me but that is a historical fact.

The only time anyone has a problem with joblessness is when it's the man who is jobless.

[hemipristis]

06:48 AM on 06/26/2011

This column continues to prove why more and more American men are going for foreign women.

[dpc2224]

07:28 AM on 06/26/2011

Yes, their expectations are more realistic and they don't whine and complain like the american princess. If women are sex objects, men are power objects in many womens' eyes....pretty worthless without a good paying job. Best to remain single in most cases..

[NoBlueDogs]

11:28 AM on 07/05/2011

Okay, folks, this is not any more mature than women whining about their boyfriends/husbands not having jobs. Now you're stereotyping foreign women.

[toddisit]

04:32 AM on 06/26/2011

That stat revolves around marriage only which many guys won't do if they sense a money relationship. That probably reflects the support me/gold digger perception that most guys have of marriage, and how tying the knot is a big time turn off because of it. Never get married, that resolves everything!

[Kev n]

04:30 AM on 06/26/2011

If it gets to "slim pickings" for a woman, she will marry any man she can get.

[speedynutrino43]

03:42 AM on 06/26/2011

What about the women men won't marry? I've had two wives and I'll NEVER have another one. No, I'm not saying that I was blameless in these debacles, however marriage is just something I don't need. I rather relish solitude and am perfectly comfortable with my own company. I also enjoy the freedom to do as I please whenever I please. If I want to go fishing, there is nobody to consult...the same with many other things I could list. I'm nearly 50 years old and both marriages lasted for quite a few years....incidentally I've NEVER been without gainful employment and am well educated. I now work for myself and I've never been happier. I have a son who is 27 and he's still single, having had innumerable lady friends over the years. I suppose he took my advice seriously. 40 years isn't too old to marry for the first time by any means. assuming he felt so moved. These pronouncements are only my opinions and others may differ.

[hemipristis]

06:40 AM on 06/26/2011

You certainly have a point, but remember that the target audience for Huffpo, particularly these types of columns, is women. You'll never read a column here concerning the reverse.

[Beth Horne]

08:45 AM on 06/26/2011

LOL, honey you picked the wrong women! I'm engaged to be married, and we're writing our own vows, and in mine will be 'I promise NEVER to ask you not to go fishing, and if you want me to go with you I will, but only if you ask me, and I'll bait my own hook! When we go to the movies, if you are good enough to watch a 'chick flick' with me, I'll return the favor and watch a 'guy movie' with you, I'll keep learning about football, baseball, but just don't ask me to pull for Gordon in NASCAR! I'll pretend to understand when you start talking 'engineer speak' and I'll do my best to keep it in layman's terms when I go into one of my long-winded explainations involving psychology or literature, and we can laugh at one another's blank stares when our brains go numb! I'll try not to correct your grammar if you don't make me balance the checkbook or help do the taxes, just give me an allowance or tell me no when I want something we can't afford, and I'll do my best not to pout when told no. I'll always love you and be faithful and take care of you...even when you turn into a grumpy little boy. I'll always be a good cook, but even if I'm not a great housekeeper, I'll make enough money to hire one! LOL

[meman1]

03:32 AM on 06/26/2011

of course most women would not marry an unemployed man, in today's world that's a given. most women want money, aka the gold diggers, i mean c'mon its plastered all over tv and reality shows etc etc.

[hemipristis]

06:41 AM on 06/26/2011

amen brother!

[Beth Horne]

08:50 AM on 06/26/2011

Gee, would you marry an unemployed woman, who does nothing but lay around the house all day, has no ambition, just wants to maybe pump out a few kids but doesn't particularly care to raise them well, doesn't keep up the house, or cook, or do anything but think about themselves? I don't think so. I want a man who has an education, a career, has pride in himself and his work, who thinks that taking care of his home and family are a priority, and I'm sorry but a man who is unemployed doesn't fit that standard. I know many men have been laid off or fired due to the economic downturn, but with no money coming in but a check, that is no time to think about getting married. That is a time to put those things on hold and get your financial house in order! I'm no golddigger, never have been, I've never been afraid to work and work hard, and I want those same qualities in my mate!

[NoBlueDogs]

11:32 AM on 07/05/2011

"Gee, would you marry an unemployed woman, who does nothing but lay around the house all day"

Wait, didn't you say your ex-husband was good to the kids?

[Wake Up Call]

03:31 AM on 06/26/2011

Like it or not, gender roles are biologically programmed into the human brain. Women want strong and capable providers and men want young and attractive mates for sex. Society tries to deny this because it is incompatible with modern family and work life, but a million years of evolution can't be erased in a couple of centuries.

[misipi6gun]

04:18 AM on 06/26/2011

Don't you mean for the last 6 thousand years .... remember Adam & Eve ?

[Sifu Philip Bonifonte]

05:26 AM on 06/26/2011

This is "Relationships" - "Religion" is two clicks over. ;>)

I've been married once; it would have to be a very special lady for me to marry again. Not so much because I hated it - just that I like being single better. And yes, I'm 53, was married at 28 and lasted 15 years at the game. I'm happy sticking with FWBs now.

... it's a Taoist thing. ;>)

[dpc2224]

07:21 AM on 06/26/2011

I think that's a learned behavior. it can be changed, but obviously many are unable to adjust to what is going on now.

[Ccwillhunt Carinow]

03:30 AM on 06/26/2011

gold diggers by nature

[NancyY]

06:26 AM on 06/26/2011

Wrong. Maybe the woman doesn't want a gold digger sitting around the house while she has to get up every morning and go to work.

[hemipristis]

06:42 AM on 06/26/2011

And maybe he doesn't want a gold-digger sitting around the house all ready to nag him when he gets home after a days work and harasses him with an endless series of honey-do chores which she could have taken care of in-between soap episodes.

[Ccwillhunt Carinow]

07:08 AM on 06/26/2011

typical gold digger reaction

[Bob Calvin]

10:22 PM on 06/26/2011

a saying from the Talmud: "Women have hearts like cashboxes" Tha's from about 2000 years ago.

[NancyY]

08:55 AM on 06/29/2011

Women typically did not work out of the house 2,000 years ago!

Actually, I had a former coworker in mind when I made that comment. She was a talented, hard-working woman who was getting her master's degree in human resources and decided to marry a guy who didn't have a job. Then she got really tired of the fact that he didn't have a job. I'd hear her occasional complaints and think, "What the heck did you expect???"

[MarisaVillafane]

03:11 AM on 06/26/2011

there's a huge difference between an unemployed man and an unemployed man who is also lazy. My boyfriend has been laid of work for almost a year, but he does what he can to make sure we can pay our bills. If a man who isn't working just sits at home all day and does nothing, then he's basically worthless. Plus, I cant help but wonder how much money they spent putting together this survey.

[dpc2224]

07:17 AM on 06/26/2011

It looks like you want an old style relationship. If women want half the jobs they should know they have made it impossible for men to always be their support.

[blasterofparis]

02:44 AM on 06/26/2011

Save some time and just find someone you hate and give her half your money :)

[spurlorl]

02:33 AM on 06/26/2011

I am in the military. I was also nearly 30 years old when I married. I told my then fiance that I didn't care whether she worked or stayed at home. All I wanted was for her to do what was best for her. If children come and the needs of the family dictate a change in what she does, so be it. I told her that we'd cross that bridge when it came. She told me that she felt that she probably needed to work, especially when I was deployed. She needed something to occupy her time. I am totally cool with her feelings in the matter. I don't expect her to maintain an immaculate home. If the trash needs taken out, whoever is there to do it will do it. If the floor needs to be cleaned, again, whoever is there takes care of it. She voluntarily takes on most of that responsibility because she's good at it. She has banned me from the kitchen because of my major lack of culinary skills, however the grill is my domain. It works out very well. Those who put down marriage need to get a clue. Marriage isn't easy. It's work. It's sacrifice. It's about having that best frind who you can lie in bed with at night and talk about anything and everything from the most mundane to the most serious of subjects. It's a grand institution.

[dhkwmk]

06:31 AM on 06/26/2011

You and your wife are very fortunate to have each other. I've had my military man for 32 years and he has always felt the way you do. Thank you and your wife for the sacrifice you both make for our country.

[sugarcreekchile]

02:11 AM on 06/26/2011

This isn't the good old days where almost every man you'ld meet had a strong work ethic, didn't expect their wives to work and would be embarrassed if their wife was working and they weren't. Today, with an illegitimacy rate of 40%, guys can have a kids with no obligation to support or care for them. The word "responsibility" isn't in their vocabulary. Working women looking for a tradional marriage, aren't looking for coddled boys to support who think lifting a beer can is work. They, probably also, have friends who're working to support a lazy bum.

There are guys out there, unemployed through no fault of their own who are seriously looking for work or going to college, who shouldn't be written off. A guy's history is what should count. Is he still living with mom and dad in a bedroom with furniture from his romper room days? What's his work history? Does he even have one? Has he been able to keep a steady job or does he jump from one to another? While unemployed, does he sit on his can or is he always finding something to do to occupy his time that doesn't involve bar hopping or playing video games? Is he a perpetual student depending on mom & dad for handouts or is he a guy that served in the military and is attending college on the GI bill? Women should be skeptical, a pretty face doesn't always make a great mate.

[Newly Minted]

02:22 AM on 06/26/2011

Look, frankly, the unemployment rate is through the roof. There are millions of people now who are unemployed through no fault of their own. It's kind of silly to postpone getting married for what might be years (who knows?) because one or the other person isn't working. Weddings might have to be the city hall route for some or the consequence is that you miss out on that time with your special someone.

[rgrsjolly]

06:08 AM on 06/26/2011

No way. I can tell you for a fact that most working women will financially support an out of work husband for just so long before resentment creeps in and when that happens the relationship is in trouble.

[hemipristis]

06:45 AM on 06/26/2011

I love how you turn the illegitimacy rate tragedy as men's fault. Keep your legs closed and there wouldn't be illegit kids, would there? Further, we as a society have been brainwashed by several decades of Big Media, Hollyweird, and democrats in government pushing the idea that fathers aren't necessary; that single motherhood is nearly saintly; that a government check will suffice as a father. Ye reap what ye sow, ladies.

[sugarcreekchile]

07:59 AM on 06/26/2011

I, in no way, implied that the illegitimacy tragedy was men's fault. When women don't use birth control or insist the guy use protection and crank out kids without the benefit of marriage, a guy who had no intention of making a commitment doesn't feel the need to take responsibility, When her daddy isn't going to come after you with a shotgun, there's no incentive to stick around. If women held themselves to a higher standard, men would too.

[NoBlueDogs]

11:35 AM on 07/05/2011

Like Republicans don't father kids out of wedlock. Senator Strom Thurmond, anyone?

[Newly Minted]

02:10 AM on 06/26/2011

That's just BS. I've known plenty of women who marry men who are unemployed (and have much, much worse problems than that). The problem is that the survey asks if a women would marry a hypothetical man, not her beloved "special guy"--who just doesn't happen to have a job right now...

[digieman]

02:09 AM on 06/26/2011

You can always learn to LOVE, You can't learn to be RICH

[Gentalmen Al]

02:26 AM on 06/26/2011

People become rich, either through hard work, investments, or just pot luck. So in some respect , you and anyone can learn to be rich. I think it's called education?!

[alderaforall]

04:48 AM on 06/26/2011

a college degree isn't a ticket to being rich. Take a look at all the college educated people out there currently unemployed wondering where their next student loan payment is coming from?