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Looks Like We're Not Yet Done With The 'Anthony Weiner Was A Secret Muslim' Rumors

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TONY AND HUMA
Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner | AP

Just over a week ago, we brought you word of an insanely paranoid screed published in "The Communities at the Washington Times" (a distinction that both allows the Washington Times to avoid some measure of responsibility for the publication of the piece while simultaneously suggesting that the Moonie paper is operating a gated retirement community for cranks), that asserted -- well...many things! But among its primary contentions were that disgraced Twitter crotchshot enthusiast Anthony Weiner was a secret Muslim and participant in an international "pro-Muslim political agenda."

The hysterical piece was eventually taken down after being the target of universal derision, and one would think that its central arguments would thus die an unseen death, never to be heard from again. Oh, you should be so lucky!

Over at Salon, Justin Elliott reports that it's been revived at Commentary in the form of an interview with Robert Spencer, the "go-to Islam expert" for all your creeping Shariah fearmongery needs. As it turns out, the reheated version retains the delightful dementia of the original:

Certainly the most likely scenario is that Weiner did convert to Islam, as Abedin’s mother, a professor in Saudi Arabia, would almost certainly have insisted that he do so. Weiner has made no public statement of this conversion, but since it would almost certainly have cost him politically if he had announced it, this silence is not any indication that he didn’t actually convert.

Huma Abedin's mother didn't mind her participating in a sexy Vogue photoshoot, but nevertheless, she must have insisted that Weiner convert to Islam. It is "certainly" the "most likely scenario" that she would have "almost certainly" insisted, according to no sources of any kind. Meanwhile, the fact that Weiner has never publicly professed to having converted to Islam may as well be construed as a 50-50 shot that he did so, anyway. Weiner has also been silent on the matter of whether he knows D.B. Cooper's whereabouts, and I wish the lamestream media would "raise the questions."

Meanwhile, in most of Weiner's public statements, he maintains an unflinching support for Israel, which is a pretty cunning way of throwing everyone off the trail of his conversion to Islam. Weiner has been vocal in his support for Israel long before he married Abedin, so we should definitely marvel of how long ago he set up this amazing con job.

I sort of thought that the entire foofaraw over Anthony Weiner deftly proved the primacy of Occam's razor, so it's hard to fathom why at this late date we need to start reconsidering these events in our lives through some convoluted, paranoid imaginings. Weiner and Abedin had a conventional, American interfaith marriage, Weiner is a tireless backer of Israel, he's also a churlish boob who liked to send pictures of himself to ladies on the Internet and then lie about it hysterically. So now he's resigned from office, the end.

Spencer tells Elliott that his explanation, while "not the only possible scenario," was nevertheless the "most immediately obvious scenario." That's a pretty strange definition of the words "immediate" and "obvious" when you consider the fact that the scenario was never hinted at anywhere until mid-June. (And I'm not entirely sure this was even "immediately obvious" to Spencer, given that it looks for all the world as if he's just attempting to advance the ideas that originally appeared in "The Communities at the Washington Times.")

But Spencer gets stranger still:

There were widespread insinuations that she was involved in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with Abedin, her ever-present personal assistant. Those whisperings persisted into Clinton’s tenure as Secretary of State. Abedin’s 2010 marriage to Weiner, at which Bill Clinton presided, put those rumors to rest.

In Islamic law, a Muslim must officiate a marriage ceremony; hence if Bill Clinton was the only one officiating, the marriage was not valid according to Islamic law. Huma Abedin would undoubtedly have known that. Thus, if no Muslim was officiating along with Clinton, Weiner would not have had to convert to Islam, as the whole thing was a charade from the outset, apparently entered into with the full awareness of all parties concerned.

So, let's get it straight. In order for Hillary Clinton to tamp down rumors that she was a lesbian, which neither she nor anyone with a functioning brain ever took seriously, she arranged for Huma Abedin to be married to a Jewish guy from New York who needed to convert to Islam in order for this important piece of rumor control to work.

Or! Abedin and Weiner were never officially married in a way that required him to convert, but the whole marriage is nevertheless a "charade from the outset," that all parties agreed to for -- some reason?

All I can say is: spoken like a true "Islam expert!"

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