Family Finds Adopted Daughter's Biological Mom Through Facebook

NBC Today interviewed a family who found their adopted daughter's birth mother on Facebook.

As Jessi Zachtel grew up, she found herself increasingly curious about her biological family. Once in her teens, she started searching social media sites with the help of her adoptive mom.

Unbeknownst to Jessi, her birth mother was doing the same thing.

"I figured she has to be on Facebook, she has to be on myspace," said Sharyn Padula, who gave up Jessi over a decade ago. "So I started looking through all the Jessicas and all the Jessies in New Jersey. I got so many results."

WATCH:

Comments

[madame fate]

08:54 PM on 07/04/2011

I'm glad it had a happy ending.

I worry about the women who get contacted that gave away their children and don't want any contact with them. It's got to be painful for the mothers. Why did they give their children away? What were the circumstances? What stigma did they have to deal with?

That's why anonymity was/is important. Now everyone's in everyone else's business.

There are a lot of unhappy endings you don't read about. Women who - for whatever reason - have chosen to give up their child and don't want any contact. They come off as bad guys if they are truthful and say they don't want a bond with the child. Doesn't seem right to have a woman put through that angst when she did the right thing by giving the child up for adoption initially.

[amd02148]

12:38 AM on 07/04/2011

In this case there was a positive outcome. But most people don't want to be found. I know I would be devasted if I located my birth mom and she told me I don't want to see you and don't contact me again. I say let sleeping dogs lie.

[WorkhelpWorkhelp]

05:15 AM on 07/04/2011

That's easy for you to say. You're old. Older anyway. Kids can't think ahead like that. Life is too weird.

[amd02148]

10:13 PM on 07/04/2011

Lol. If a child is old enough to go and search for their parent, they're old enough to know that they might not be wanted.

[mdh51]

01:44 AM on 07/02/2011

Seems like a similar situation. My father in law had a child with some women who was not his wife. He never really acknowledge the child is his own. I heard that they had to go to court to get child support. He died a couple of years after she was born. Her mother told her about my wife(her half sister) and she knew she had a half sister and her mother even knew her name. Recently my wife got an email from someone who claimed she was her half sister. She found her on facebook. After various correspondence, it was determined it really was her half sister. We flew to visit her and it was very nice encounter. We correspond via email or facebook. She is 35 years old now and for all that time she never knew about her father or her father's children.

There are good things that come out of facebook

[meanlady21]

01:31 AM on 07/01/2011

More people should consider open adoption so it's not so dificult to find each other. Even if you only get a picture once every 5 years or so.

[onionboy]

01:25 PM on 07/01/2011

That's what we did. Current problem, kid is 9 and birth mother in prison. He's not old enough to hear that quite yet. She's scheduled to get out right around when he turns sixteen. I hope it goes down that way. I'd hate for that to be the first way he meets her (post-toddler).

[lacasa3spiker]

10:44 PM on 06/30/2011

Similar thing happened to me, except I hadn't met my dad & all I knew was his first name. Randomly one day his nephew found me a couple years ago on myspace telling me he knew my dad/my dad was his uncle, & obviously I didn't believe him, since I didn't even know my dad. But that nephew's girlfriend was friends with me on facebook (we had mutual friends) & she chatted me & told me more about him/the situation & where he worked. So I went to his work, absolutely random, & when I told him just my first name, he knew it was me. & We've been close ever since :) Love the social networks.

[WorkhelpWorkhelp]

05:16 AM on 07/04/2011

Good ending. Glad it worked out for you.

[Dorothy Worrell]

10:27 PM on 06/30/2011

My brother had lost touch with his daughter and son from a divorce many years ago. When I joined Facebook using my maiden name, my niece quickly contacted me. Then I was able to get them in touch with each other. I am happy to hear that others are able to use social networks for the same thing. It was a wonderful surprise for me. Later that year, my niece joined the family for her first-ever, family Thanksgiving. Poor kid met forty of us. :) We all enjoyed it very much

[cindyrdw]

10:21 PM on 06/30/2011

At least the article described her as "birth mother" and not "real" mother. Her real mother is the one who raises and cares for her enough to help her find a biological parent when she is curious.

[kristiemaureen]

12:50 AM on 07/01/2011

Sorry, completely disagree with you here. BOTH of my mothers, both the one that gave birth to me and the one that raised me, are my real mothers. The first cared so much about me that she recognized she couldn't give me the childhood she wanted for me that she made the ultimate sacrifice, placing me for adoption. The second cared so much for me that the fact that I was not her biological child didn't matter one bit to her and she loved me just as she loved her biological children. You just can't get more real than either of these women.

[stormoya]

04:49 AM on 07/01/2011

right on kristiemaureen

[Kmuzu]

04:11 PM on 06/30/2011

Almost never a good idea for a teenager to find their biological mother ..

[Karen Fishkin Crow]

01:41 AM on 07/01/2011

Although I agree it can open an entire new can of worms in someone's life, I don't think this is the truth. Sometimes you have to understand your past to look forward into the future.

I was adopted, learned about my birth mother, (after her death,) and was found on Facebook by my foster family that gave me up to be adopted by my biological grandparents at 2. These loving people have taken me into their hearts and I am lucky enough to have two families.

[echo]

12:54 PM on 07/01/2011

Sorry, no one believes your categorical statement.

[born 2b different]

02:27 PM on 07/03/2011

"Almost never a good idea for a teenager to find their biological mother .." is not a categorical statement.

[mikey09]

03:40 PM on 06/30/2011

Sounds like the search was mutual...hope all ends well for these families. Its not always a happy ending, one searcher I know found out his mother was in prison for ending the lives of his siblings and another a women who had given a child up for adoption, committed suicide when she was tracked down by that child.....just keep in mind, not all have happy endings.

[SimianNation]

02:44 PM on 06/30/2011

Someone fessed up?

[xochilatl]

01:31 PM on 06/30/2011

This is no surprise. Three of my four adopted kids have found their bioparents through Facebook. I work in child welfare and this happens all the time. The days of closed adoptions are over. Children are able to connect to Facebook, search Google, and find addresses using any number of computers and cell phones in their lives. The reality of the situation is that adoption, with bioparents and biochildren not having contact, is over. As an adoptive parent I cannot stop my children from accessing social media, they can log on anywhere at work, at school, or at home. I don't think I should want to stop them either, they're going to have to learn how to negotiate these relationships and it's probably better that they should be able to negotiate them with my help and guidance rather than trying to do it all alone. More power to this young woman and her mother. People need to know who they are and where they came from.

[Daniel Johnson]

02:13 PM on 06/30/2011

Well said.....

[SimianNation]

02:45 PM on 06/30/2011

Thanks for looking out for the kids, I am your fan!

F&F