"You can have my fireworks when you pry them from my cold, handless hands."
So says Stephen Colbert, the last man standing in the war on the 4th of July. After cities in central Texas instituted a ban on fireworks due to extremely dry conditions, Colbert took to his show on Wednesday to sarcastically decry the move as unpatriotic.
After all, there's nothing more American than losing a finger and setting your neighbor's yard on fire with one bottle rocket.
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