Colbert Blasts Texas 4th Of July Fireworks Ban (VIDEO)

"You can have my fireworks when you pry them from my cold, handless hands."

So says Stephen Colbert, the last man standing in the war on the 4th of July. After cities in central Texas instituted a ban on fireworks due to extremely dry conditions, Colbert took to his show on Wednesday to sarcastically decry the move as unpatriotic.

After all, there's nothing more American than losing a finger and setting your neighbor's yard on fire with one bottle rocket.

WATCH:

Comments

[mamacat]

07:40 AM on 07/04/2011

An American classic -- Stephen Colbert.

I get a kick out of our local fireworks stand .... they seem to have gone overboard this year with their Made-in-China American flags, selling their Made-in-China fireworks.

[oldgeek1]

06:31 PM on 07/03/2011

Who needs fireworks when you can fire your own gun into the air. "Texas - we care about your safety".

[Puzzlr]

03:38 PM on 07/01/2011

"Don't Mess With Texas" was created to stop littering. Just thought I'd mention it. Carry on!

[20DYNAMITE07]

02:45 PM on 07/01/2011

So Texas has decided that an explosive device that hurtles a projectile at high speed is dangerous?

Imagine that?

[dbw53022]

08:21 AM on 07/01/2011

I thought the biggest cause of wildfires was illegal immigrants! No wait - that was Arizona.

[Tony Sanchez]

04:39 AM on 07/01/2011

Every July 4th there will be be plenty of shotgun fire.

[MizzMaat]

12:59 AM on 07/01/2011

ROFLMAO Loved the Bachmann-esque history lesson and holiday customs story at the beginning!

[LMPE]

09:21 PM on 06/30/2011

Ear Drum Sodomizer. Ha!

[Gregor53]

06:16 PM on 06/30/2011

No problem. They can still carry their guns into bars and celebrate there. Just fire them off into the ceiling. Less risk of fire there.

[MizzMaat]

01:03 AM on 07/01/2011

Actually, that's Ohio that just (today I think) changed the law to make it legal for gun owners with concealed carry permits to take guns into bars.

Not defending Texas on much of anything but I think carrying a gun in a bar is still illegal there.

[Gregor53]

08:06 AM on 07/01/2011

You may be correct. Perhaps Texas was only to allow guns to be carried into school. Interesting considering what happened in Austin many years ago. I live in OH and do not go to bars anymore. Liquor and guns do not make good bed fellows.

[stealur]

02:14 PM on 07/01/2011

I live in Texas. My neighbors will be firing their firearms into the air this weekend, like they did for cinco de mayo, new years, and any other chance they got.

[Dovekwartel]

05:46 PM on 06/30/2011

Wow! No comments. Guess that's the price of using HULU....

[GraniteSkyline]

05:51 PM on 06/30/2011

Professional Hulu h8er?

[markburn]

07:07 PM on 06/30/2011

No. Just international audience.

Isn't globalization a great thing?
(Of course for corporations, not for people.)

[FlameOnH8]

09:59 PM on 06/30/2011

No comment? But you made a comment. Does not compute..... *head explodes*

[BlackJAC]

05:06 PM on 06/30/2011

More like their secession intentions prevent them from recognizing American holidays anymore.