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Lady Gaga Talks Sex To Howard Stern: Women Should Wait Until Their Mid-Twenties. Really?

Gaga

First Posted: 07/20/11 03:50 PM ET Updated: 09/19/11 06:12 AM ET

Lady Gaga's never been one to shy away from making controversial statements. But it's her stance on sex that been making headlines in recent days.

Appearing on Howard Stern Monday morning, Gaga told the shock jock, "I've got a lot of young fans ... Honestly, you should wait as long as you can to have sex. As a woman you don't even begin to enjoy it until your mid-20s."

It's a bold statement for Gaga. Only 25 herself, the pop star has been roundly criticized by parent groups for her highly sexual costumes and performances. On the Stern show, she appeared wearing a bondage-inspired onesie of black latex, fishnet tights and an exposed garter belt clasped around her waist.

But experts say that overtly sexual image shouldn't negate the singer's message.

Dr. Laura Berman, one of the nation's foremost women's sexual health experts and author of several books on the subject, says Gaga's stance is a refreshingly positive one.

"Actually, I'm impressed with her," Berman told The Huffington Post. "She obviously exudes a kind of sexuality that a lot of her fans aspire to, but what she's saying is that you should own your own sexuality and be comfortable with who you are before having sex with someone else."

Women in their teens and early 20s are typically reactive in their sexual experiences, Berman explains. They're more likely to respond to external pressures to have sex -- peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend -- rather than act in accordance with internal desires.

That doesn't change entirely until a woman is much older. In other words, the widespread notion that men peak sexually in their late teens while women peak in their mid-30s is in part true, Berman says.

"By the time a woman is in her mid-30s, she knows who she is, and she's not apologetic about it," Berman said. "She's much more likely to have sex from a place of empowerment and be assertive about what feels good to her."

While it may be unusual for a woman to wait until her mid-20s to have sex, Berman says there's actually some scientific proof it's a good idea. "A woman's prefrontal cortex -- the decision-making part of the brain -- isn't even fully developed until the age of 21. That means the consequences aren't fully recognized until then."

And while Gaga's image may exude a sexuality that makes parents wary of the star, Berman says her racy look doesn't necessarily negate her message to fans.

"It's one thing to own your sexuality, and it's another to have sex," Berman says. "You can absolutely be sexy and flirtatious without engaging actively in sex."

"What she's saying, in between the lines, is that you need to explore your own body first. You can't just expect a man to figure it out. You have to figure out what you want first."

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Lady Gaga's never been one to shy away from making controversial statements. But it's her stance on sex that been making headlines in recent days. Appearing on Howard Stern Monday morning, Gaga to...
Lady Gaga's never been one to shy away from making controversial statements. But it's her stance on sex that been making headlines in recent days. Appearing on Howard Stern Monday morning, Gaga to...
 
 
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05:57 PM on 09/03/2011
Wrong Wrong and uhh...WRONG, she can say whatever she likes about herself and that she may have not enjoyed sex till her 20's but myself and my good female friends have enjoyed sex before then and I'm not making any apologizes about that either. All I can say is Speak for yourself Gaga....keep up the good work tho. :)
04:56 AM on 08/21/2011
I think the reason why so many women don't begin to really *enjoy* sex until they're in their 20's is because they've been around the rosy a few times, if you know what I mean. I also wouldn't accuse people younger than their mid 20's of not *enjoying* sex, because I've been having sex since I was 16 and have always loved it.

A woman begins to open herself up and own her own sexuality more as she has sexual experiences, not because she's arbitrarily in her mid 20's. Some women never feel comfortable with their sexuality, but for most of us, we open up as we get older and learn what we like, what we don't, the people we're happy we did it with and the people we wish we didn't.

While it's excellent to encourage girls to wait until they're ready and to make good sexual choices, deterring teenage girls from having sex by saying "it won't even be good until you're 25" is a silly and shortsighted way of going about it. You started enjoying sex more in your mid 20's, Gaga, because you had years to grow into your sexuality, not because your prefrontal cortex was having orgasms for you.
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anoise
My micro bio is too small to fit here....
07:42 PM on 08/10/2011
"A woman's prefrontal cortex -- the decision-making part of the brain -- isn't even fully developed until the age of 21. That means the consequences aren't fully recognized until then."

That's the most depressing thing I've heard in a long time. Says the mother of two teenaged daughters
10:27 PM on 08/08/2011
I only enjoy anything sexual if I do it just with myself and no one else. Obviously I'm FAR too sexy to be worthy of anyone less than myself anyways. All women should realize when men don't deserve any sex. Most of the men I encountered in high school were pushy and only wanted sexual gratification. From the perspective of some men, women don't even have the right to enjoy their own sexuality. Obviously, this makes them inferior and unworthy of sex, so you shouldn't give it to them. Besides, keeping it to yourself protects women from having babies and stds at a young age or anything else unwanted these vermin bring.
06:04 PM on 09/03/2011
*sarcastic tone* wow....you totally don't sound sexist. Jesus Christ, what do we live in elementary school again? Where its always Boys vs. Girls? I've got news for you, we don't, all men are NOT vermin, nor do they think that all women are inferior. You sound really bitter and you need to experience life alot more before painting genders as black and white. And by the way their is a such thing as protection, it exists for a reason. You obviously wouldn't like it if a man painted women in the same way you paint men. Quite hypocritical don't you think? You can't generalize an entire gender. Just because some men are jerks doesn't mean all are. Women can be bitches too, doesn't mean we all are ones.
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shubes61
07:22 PM on 08/03/2011
i don't disagree with her... i first had sex in my late teens, but i didn't really enjoy it until my mid-twenties... i think i was just going along with what was expected of me, and thought something magical would just HAPPEN... it took me a few years to learn what to expect, what it all feels like, what feels good to me... and how to make it feel even better.

i've learned well... lol
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Michael Dadtka
Grim
07:49 PM on 08/02/2011
Well then it must be true.
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giono
08:37 AM on 08/02/2011
And who made this loon a spokesperson for women and girls ...
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Sensual Sage
Set Your Fire Free
01:35 PM on 08/01/2011
I love Lady GaGa's stance message to girls.
It's rare that a girl is taught everything about her sexuality. Many girls try to learn about sexuality from a boy who knows nothing about her body, he's still trying to figure out his own, yet the myth still lingers that boys and men instinctively know what to do. It's time for illusions to be shattered and for girls and boys to be taught fully about this beautiful and powerful energy. Bless the parents, they do the best they can with what they know.
There was a time in some cultures when girls where taught everything about this powerful energy in Sacred ceremony by women elders. Boys were also taught in Sacred ceremony by men elders.
Generally most boys and girls have to figure most of it out on their own, and unfortunately there are still messages of guilt and shame being passed down to them.
If girls choose to wait and explore their sexuality as a solo practice, it can be extremely empowering and liberating, especially for those who take this practice beyond the physical. When a solo sexual practice, also becomes a spiritual experience, you come into full alignment with every aspect of your creative force. When girls understand their body completely and how powerful this energy really is, and know how to honor and weave together the primal aspect and the Divine, it will reflect beautifully in their relationships, and the boys will evolve right along with them.
MarkRB
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the libs.
12:44 AM on 07/22/2011
Wow...she obviously didn't know my first wife.....
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thesimoche
too much money ain't enough money
05:12 PM on 07/21/2011
Is there any musician in history,who rose to fame quickly in like no time at all and has a godlike follower-ship like lady gaga,please i will like to know.
Oneandoneandone
Professional Spitfire
07:35 PM on 07/21/2011
Michael Jackson
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thesimoche
too much money ain't enough money
07:44 PM on 07/21/2011
MJ had the Jackson five and was performing on the road for years,but i have to agree he did have a godlike follower-ship when he became a solo artist.
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Nelson Montana
Artist, Author, Composer
12:08 AM on 07/22/2011
The godlike fellowship is more a result of a culture that is enamored with celebrity regardless to how it's obtained. And it's generated by the media machine -- not so much by genuine interest. (Though I do think she shows some talent -- or she did at least on the first album).

As for who skyrocketed to fame soon after making it to the big stage?

Hendrix

Nirvana

The Police

Janis Joplin

Madonna

Led Zeppelin

Guns N Roses

Boston

Mariah Carey

Rihanna

Taylor Swift

The Beatles

To name a few.
03:33 PM on 07/21/2011
"While it may be unusual for a woman to wait until her mid-20s to have sex..." Really? A lot of women don't have sex until they are around that age or older. Its not unusual or unnatural.
11:59 PM on 07/21/2011
Many teenagers are having sex now...hence the many teenagers that get pregnant...so it is kind-of unusual. I believe there is more pressure to have sex now. The media is responsible for most of this pressure, peers are responsible for the rest.
03:19 AM on 07/22/2011
There's a whole sexual nation that doesn't turn up on 16 and Pregnant. Have a little faith in the youth. And the media presses sexuality for EVERYONE, not just teens.
06:19 PM on 07/22/2011
There is a certain genetic group which sexually/physically matures much sooner than other groups. Having sex at an age when other girls are still playing with Barbies is not uncommon for that group.
02:28 PM on 07/21/2011
It's all about the parenting people! If you are open with your kids and they are open with you, it's easier to share your own experiences and tell them why you think they should wait to have sex until they're ready. It's difficult to make teens do anything, let alone telling them to NOT have sex. But by informing them on safe-sex practices (you can't always rely on sex-ed classes in schools), you are potentially lowering their chances of STDs, pregnancy, etc. Because guess what, kids are gonna do what THEY want to do, no matter how much you try to stop it. The least you can do is educate them.
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undrgrndgirl
what's so funny 'bout peace, love & understanding?
11:42 AM on 07/21/2011
speak for yourself lady blah blah...i enjoyed sex at 15...
Oneandoneandone
Professional Spitfire
01:53 PM on 07/21/2011
I didn't really enjoy it (with a man) until 28. With men, it was either painful or just so-so before then. Everyone's different.
MarkRB
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the libs.
12:45 AM on 07/22/2011
You just didn't have the right one...;)
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glojet
06:02 PM on 07/25/2011
your probably a man. lady gaga is right on with this one!
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marsjunkiegirl
More left and more interested in facts than you.
11:17 AM on 07/21/2011
Why is it that in this country we have 'abstinence only until straight marriage' sex education in almost all public schools that tell young people to wait to be sexually active and people constantly trash young female celebrities for behaving in a 'sexy' manner, but the second an actual young woman says to wait for better sex in one's twenties, everyone bashes her and encourages teen sex?
I'm a believer in healthy sexuality at the time people feel ready for it, but there is one scientific reason for young women to wait- the cervix is not fully developed until adulthood and teen girls are therefore more susceptible to infection according to recent studies.
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undrgrndgirl
what's so funny 'bout peace, love & understanding?
11:47 AM on 07/21/2011
citation of "recent studies" please?
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marsjunkiegirl
More left and more interested in facts than you.
01:04 PM on 07/21/2011
It's discussed on the CDC's site about STDs, and I also found a few abstracts through googling, but not the source. I first heard about this through my former supervisor, who worked for planned parenthood of south texas' education and community outreach arm.
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ghelm92160
11:15 AM on 07/21/2011
What a crock of poohpooh! Always amazes me that anyone with some success either Berman or GaGa know all about others. GaGa is well spoken but it's amazing how smart about others she has become. Berman reminds me of Dr. Ruth!
Oneandoneandone
Professional Spitfire
01:55 PM on 07/21/2011
Wait so you think girls should have sex at 15? Not really sure I understand your message.