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‘Crazy, Stupid, Love': Steve Carell Talks Divorce, Infidelity In New Film

Steve Carrell Crazy Stupid Love

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 07/29/11 10:44 PM ET Updated: 09/28/11 06:12 AM ET

Divorce, and all the emotional turmoil that accompanies it, isn't usually the basis for Hollywood comedies. But then, Steve Carell’s latest movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love" isn’t your typical Hollywood comedy. In the film, which opened in theatres nationwide Friday, Carell plays Cal, a lovably schlubby fortysomething man with two kids whose long-time wife Emily (Julianne Moore) informs him that she has cheated on him and wants a divorce. Putting up a fight isn’t Cal’s forte: no sooner has she told him she wants out than he’s rolling down their driveway—his driveway—in a U-Haul moving truck, head in hands, on his way to his depressing post-divorce bachelor pad. The marital ups and downs that play out over the course of the next two hours challenge the traditional romantic comedy script in ways we never thought possible (plus there are some decidedly excellent shots of Ryan Gosling's abs--he stars as Jacob, Cal's post-divorce dating and romance guru). Carell recently shared his thoughts about the central role divorce plays in the film with Huffington Post:

When Cal’s co-workers learn he’s getting a divorce, they’re incredibly relieved it’s not something serious--like cancer. That was hilarious. What do you think it says about the way we view divorce nowadays?

I think that’s a very astute scene. Divorce is fairly common these days, and I think many times people disregard the emotional impact that divorce has on a couple and a family, because it happens so frequently. What’s clear in the movie is how powerful and emotionally draining [divorce is]. It’s a huge loss and I think people tend to, I don’t know if trivialize is the right word, but I think they under-appreciate the enormity of the effect a divorce can have on people.

Huffington Post: There are so many elements of the film that HuffPost Divorce readers will be familiar with—things like Cal’s sad post-divorce bachelor pad and his friends having to choose sides after his split. Were you familiar with any of that in your own life?

Steve Carell: Some of my friends have gone through divorce after many, many years of marriage, so several elements of the movie ring true to me. Certainly, getting back into the dating game is a very frightening and daunting element [of the film] that is rooted in reality. I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it’s a different world.

HP: Had you ever been through a breakup of that enormity?

SC: Fortunately, no.

HP: There’s a line where Cal’s son says something about your character’s ex-wife, his mom, to the effect of, “She’s your soul mate, don’t give up on her.” Do you believe in soul mates?

SC: I do. I’ve been married 16 years and I believe that I found mine, so I certainly have that to base it on. I think I got lucky and ended up marrying the right person.

HP: Did that inform the way you played Cal?

SC: I think so. I think it also informed why I was attracted to the script. I do believe that you fight for who you believe are the right people in your life and people. Relationships shouldn’t be disposable. If there’s something worth saving—not always the case, some relationships are irreconcilable—but if there is something that you determine is worth saving, then try to do that.

HP: We hear a lot about marriages ending so quickly. From the moment your character’s ex-wife says, “I want a divorce,” there’s an incredibly quick transition to you moving out. Was that on purpose? As a viewer you kind of think, “Wait! Why did that happen so quickly”?

SC: That speaks to my character. It speaks to this guy who so easily walks away from [his marriage]. He’s someone who hasn’t seen any of the warning signs and [doesn’t react] even when faced with this huge piece of information. And you have to ask, is his wife just begging him to respond in some way? And when he doesn’t, that’s his default setting. Even faced with this pending divorce, he doesn’t respond—he won’t engage. And I think that’s really his problem: he isn’t engaged with her, and he needs to be. And once he allows himself to get mad, to become a part of the equation, then things can potentially change—either to move on or to figure out how to make it work.

HP: It’s interesting that in this movie, the wife has the affair, not the husband, which is the opposite of what we usually see

SC: Yeah that’s one of the things that was very important to me. But I didn’t want her character to be a villain in any way—she’s just a human being. Everyone is flawed and everyone makes mistakes and is culpable. There’s fault on both sides in almost every relationship, so it was important to me that there was responsibility on Cal’s side as well to help make the relationship better. It wasn’t all in her court to figure it out.

That’s also a huge departure from what we usually see in most affair narratives, whether in the media or in the movies. There’s usually a clear villain and a victim, and there wasn’t in this film.

That was a very specific note that I had—that there needs to be movement on both sides. That’s just the reality of it. You can’t speak for every relationship, but more often than not there is responsibility on both sides.

HP: A comedy about divorce: not exactly clear comedy fodder.

SC: Yeah! It’s a tough topic and a challenging sell because here’s a movie about divorce, relationships, and love and it’s also funny. But I think so much humor comes out of pain and growth and forgiveness.


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Divorce, and all the emotional turmoil that accompanies it, isn't usually the basis for Hollywood comedies. But then, Steve Carell’s latest movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love" isn’t your typical Hollywood...
Divorce, and all the emotional turmoil that accompanies it, isn't usually the basis for Hollywood comedies. But then, Steve Carell’s latest movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love" isn’t your typical Hollywood...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jfrank5317
Go Bears!
08:44 AM on 09/13/2011
A very good movie!
04:09 PM on 09/05/2011
The movie was better than most of the genre ....but was it really a 4 star movie?
Is that a commentary on the lack of good films.
The subplot with the high school girl in love with Carrelll was kind of creepy...all in all better than average, but not a really good movie in my opinion.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jlong
05:37 AM on 08/05/2011
I've always subscribed to the adage that anything goes as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. I agree with some of the posts that people should be responsible for their own happiness, so if having sex with multiple partners is what you want, then go for it. However, your pursuit of happiness should not hurt - or as is the case with most infidelity - devastate someone else. That definitely makes affairs wrong IMO.
03:40 AM on 08/05/2011
As a emotionally wanton & lust-driven maneater (I'm single), I find posts like these both educational & amusing. Many of the comments here reflect sentiments of those struggling to regain normalcy after divorce. I can't even imagine the emotions & thoughts that enter one's mind during/after a divorce & I hope the healing process gives many of you closure. With that being said, there are a lot of generalized statements being made, as if getting married actually implies accountability--it doesn't from what I have seen. 2 people meet, fall in love, marry (possibly) procreate, & then divorce after several links make an adultery chain. Though I want to see Carrell's movie, I def agree that it takes 2. There are no victims in love, only those who gain & those who lose. I've watched friends get engaged, marry, & divorce. (YIKES!! I'm under 30.) There are wiser choices to make regarding love, but no fool-proof choices. Men & women BOTH cheat & people cheat for different reasons. The ones who I've seen who get hurt the most are the "Not my husband/wife" people. They EASILY turn into "How could you do this to ME?!" It's simple actually: "Man knows not the depths within him, until the time comes". Dickens said that. He was on to something...
04:37 PM on 08/01/2011
best thing from Hollywood (or, well, from ANY man), that i've heard in FOREVER: "I do believe that you fight for who you believe are the right people in your life and people. Relationships shouldn’t be disposable." how incredibly encouraging to see this in today's day...
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12:53 PM on 08/01/2011
renting a u-haul
is just another way
of say:

i don't love you.

:(
10:26 AM on 08/01/2011
Wife having an affair is the opposite of what we usually see? I hope that meant in movies and t.v. and not in real life because (not to be bitter) but I am pretty confident we have reached a nice 50/50 split in women and men having affairs.

And people who have affairs not bad people, but people who have made a horrible, horrible decision. If you want to have sex with a co-worker, end your marriage, and then have at it. Simple.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
marianproletarian
02:02 PM on 08/01/2011
I'm fairly certain they meant in movies.
09:18 AM on 08/01/2011
So what does a person do when they meet a divorced man for example. You get into the relationship with high hopes and come to find out his wife had kicked him out because he was cheating with her best friend............do you run away or give him a chance?
04:36 PM on 08/01/2011
give him a chance, but keep your eyes open. people do change...but love isn't really blind. love goes in with eyes wide open, and decides what qualities are acceptable and what are dealbreakers. so...i'd say be very careful with your heart, but realize, he may not be the same man he was back then. perhaps he learned his lesson.
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littlebrowngirl
Brevity is the soul of wit - Shakespeare
07:01 PM on 07/31/2011
Loved the film. I think I like carrell best as the straight man, not the funny guy.

People are flawed and people do make mistakes. Although some betrayals seem worse than others, they are all bad.

I like the fact that the film explored issues the lead to the infidelity and not just the infidelity itself. It made the movie much more intresting. Loved the son. He was the adult in the movie.
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playsindirt
So much dirt, so little time.
06:45 PM on 07/31/2011
Saw the movie Friday and it was really good but Gosling and Stone really walked away with it. Carrell was out acted by everyone else in the cast, including the newcomers who played the babysitter and son. But I digress - I don't agree that character flaws are a license to cheat. Yeah, we're all human and humans make mistakes but if you're not willing to be committed then don't get married. People get bored - you have to work to keep your marriage fresh and sexy. I would rather have a deeply committed and intimate relationship with a man who I know and who knows me completely than a shallow, superficial tryst with someone I'm not invested in emotionally. Without that connection, you're really just masturbating with an audience.
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AgathaX
Pro-science; anti-using-the-world-as-one-big-lab.
06:00 PM on 07/31/2011
There is one sure fire way to never cheat: never promise anything you're not willing to deliver on. I truly do not understand people who want to have wedding ceremonies but don't want to be married.
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OutAtFirst
Mountain goat, desert rat and sea dog
01:19 PM on 08/01/2011
Agreed. maybe I haven't been sufficiently tempted, but I've always found "because I promised not to" to be enough.
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11:02 AM on 07/31/2011
I think that because it DOES happen so frequently that it shouldn't be regarded as the devastating failure many think it is. There is a way to work through a divorce with children in a way that doesn't set everyone back emotionally but it takes two people to be committed to that. I was lucky I had someone like that. Too many people want to spend the rest of their lives wallowing in it. If your spouse leaves you, as mine did, it's about what they want - not about what you are lacking.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
logic123
God Didn't Make Man; Man Made Gods.
09:52 AM on 08/01/2011
So she wanted a faithful companion.... and you weren't lacking in that area?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
marred
10:58 AM on 07/31/2011
I'm not.
07:24 AM on 07/31/2011
Being flawed is no excuse for infidelity. We're all flawed and yet many of us don't cheat. So to mitigate the severity of cheating by saying everyone is flawed is offensive.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SeanMartin
Everything in moderation.
08:11 AM on 07/31/2011
Gotta agree. This is one of those cases where Mom was right: just because everyone else is jumping off a cliff doesnt mean you have to.
11:41 AM on 07/31/2011
I have to agree as well. Temptations are our flaws. Every time we're faced with one, we have the choice to either give in to our primal side or choose something that is best for everyone. When it comes to infidelity, I think that if you feel that you never want to lose your spouse, resist temptation and work at the marriage. If at some point you feel like you've fallen out of love and don't want to be with the person anymore, divorce and THEN see other people. Divorce may seem like a bad thing, but sometimes it's the best decision if staying in the marriage means a lifetime of unhappiness.
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papapj
..light as a feather..
06:28 PM on 07/31/2011
"choose something that is best for everyone'

I have to disagree with you there, panasonic. It's not selfish at all to say that you have to please and love yourself first..That's the only way you can be, and give of, your best to give to others.
02:18 AM on 07/31/2011
Very good movie. Tons of fun. Great storyline with lots of twists and surprises. Not your typical romcom by a longshot. Never stale. Funny in many spots and moving in others. Add to that a star studded cast and you have an excellent film. And the cast does not dissapoint. All the characters were given enough meet to chew on. If your not in the moood for a bang, bang shoot it out film this weekend, go see Crazy, Stupisd Love. You won't be sorry.