We'll admit we've been bitten by the Pippa bug...perhaps attacked. Or eaten alive. But the rest of America? They don't even know who she is.
Shocking, we know. But in the August edition of 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll, 52 percent of Americans polled responded to the question, "Who is Pippa Middleton?" with a mere "Don't know."
Around 32 percent ably answered "British socialite" ("Owner of the world's most famous tush" was not an option).
Six percent were convinced that Pips was a CNBC correspondent and another 6 percent chose children's book heroine. Better yet, two percent of Americans picked "adult film star" (a choice that is actually not too far off seeing as Pippa was offered $5 million to appear in a porno).
The whopping 52 percent of royally-ignorant Americans reminds us, sadly, that perhaps not everyone on this side of the Atlantic is so charmed by the British royals and their siblings.
But, hey -- a 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll back in January showed that 65 percent of Americans had no interest in the Royal Wedding anyway, which likely means that 65 percent of Americans did not witness Pippa Middleton's scene-stealing performance as she carried her sister's train down the aisle.
Luckily, the apathetic majority can brush up on their Pippa knowledge with the new, highly informative TV special, "Crazy About Pippa." In the one-hour TLC show, viewers will learn about Pippa's education, her modeling stint, her exercise routine, her marriage prospects and her close relationship with sister Catherine.
Airing August 9, it should be an excellent education for a wildly-undereducated 52 percent of stateside citizens.
WATCH: