As a trained marriage and family therapist and career coach, I’ve researched for over eight years what makes some people highly successful interpersonally and in business, and others doomed to fail. I’ve observed this: Being more positive in your behaviors and language makes room for far greater success, satisfaction and reward in your life (this goes for your marriage and family life too).
In Marriage as In Life and Work
During my therapy training, I read a fascinating book called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. In it, the author, leading relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, explains that there are particular types of negative interactions that, if allowed to run rampant, are so lethal to a relationship that he calls them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These four horsemen “clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order : criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.”
I’ve seen these exact same harbingers of professional disaster in the workplace as well. Allowed to run unfettered, these Four Horsemen will certainly clip-clop into the heart of your career and professional life with a deadly thud.