Are You Ready For Pregnancy?

By Alana Brager | Life2pointoh

You’re married and settled into your blissful life of two. The house is quiet and weekly date nights are still part of your normal routine. But, what comes next? A baby, perhaps? Making sure that you and your husband are on the same page about starting a family and raising a child together is essential and doesn’t happen overnight. You need time to think about, discuss and review; yes, it sounds systematic but there are a lot of factors that shouldn’t go unnoticed before getting pregnant. Answer these five questions before you start skipping your pills.

1. How Much Money Do You Have Saved? You should have three to six months of living expenses saved up at any given time. Got that, a steady income, plus a few extra thousand for baby clothes, furniture, stroller and more? Then check this off your “Am I ready?” list. Babies are expensive, so making sure that you and your spouse are financially stable is crucial before bringing a child into the world. You need to feel safe and secure with your finances and know what you can and cannot afford.

2. Do You Have Enough Space? If you’re still holed up in your husband’s bachelor pad or your tiny East Village loft, it might be time to start looking for more appropriate living quarters for your new family. Trying to pack up your life and move while having a baby is tough, so consider finding a new place–in a good school district–that’s suitable for everyone before the baby is born.

3. Do You Have The Time? Many people think they’re ready to have a baby, but don’t necessarily think about all that comes along with having a child. You can no longer regularly spend late nights at the office, and kiss your weekend “me time” goodbye. When you are able to fully understand all that’s involved and are prepared to do so, chances are that you will bring a happy child into this world.

4. Still Want to Travel? Love your weekend getaways with friends, or the week you spend each year lounging poolside in Mexico? If you still have strong desires to travel and live freely without attachments, then you should hold off on trying to conceive. It’s OK to still want to experience life without too many responsibilities, but it’s smart to address this now before you have a child who needs your constant love, care and attention.

5. Is Your Marriage Strong? Getting pregnant to save your marriage or give it a boost is NEVER a good idea. There is inevitable stress that comes along with having a child, and whether or not you and your spouse can endure the bumps is something to be discussed beforehand. If you and your spouse constantly bicker or view raising your child differently, then you must work on your own marriage first before even considering parenthood.

Read the rest of this post on Life2pointoh.com.

More from Life2pointoh.com:

Study Says More People Are Snooping Partner's Emails
7 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Spicy
How to Be an Awesome Aunt

Comments

[jennymer]

07:39 PM on 09/29/2011

I agree with most of this article, I think the main thing you have to concider when bringing a child into the world is making sure the baby is going to have a happy household to live in. Even if your not rich, or do not have the savings, love and stability does go a long way! We do not have alot of money, we buy second hand baby items, handmedowns, we do not travel or buy unnessassary items, but my kids are healthy and happy! I seem to know too many people who are trying to start a family when they are unhappy in the marriages. I sentence is'i want a baby so bad' and the next is ' i am thinking of leaving my husband'. Makes no sence to me! Babys do not fix problems, in fact they make the problems you do have even bigger and creat new ones. Babys do bring more happiness into our lives, but they wll not create happiness from nothing!

[Mrs S2004]

07:05 PM on 09/19/2011

What a hideous statement on the goal of mindless consumerism and the desire for an endlessly prolonged childhood ( for the "adults" involved -- not the actual potential children ).

[lauracarroll]

03:02 PM on 09/07/2011

It seems questions before these are, Why am I considering getting pregnant--why do I want a child? What experience am I looking for in parenthood? How does my partner answer these questions? Do we know enough about what it will take to raise a child to know we would be effective parents that will actually enjoy the experience of raising a child? Not assuming it is the next step and looking at oneself and asking why s/he wants to become a parent is so important~Laura http://lauracarroll.com

[Katie Wray]

06:03 PM on 09/06/2011

someone once told me that if you wait until you're ready to have a baby, you'll never have a baby.

[LeoChild]

12:12 AM on 09/02/2011

Choosing to have an only child is one if the best decisions I've ever made.I can provide more resources to the one rather than spread it out between two or three. Its back to school time and everything adds up.Its a lot easier to shop for one. I'm not constantly exhausted like other moms I know .

[MexiChick67]

11:25 PM on 09/01/2011

Where was it that I read that 85% of all pregnancies are not planned. Guess someone did not get the list. Out of all of the five items I would say that couples can survive parenthood if the marriage / relationship is strong. You can shop second hand, eat in more, get books and music from the library, wear your clothing a few seasons more, drive the old car a few more years, etc. The support of a loving spouse or partner cannot be bought (although many have tried).

[sunnybunny]

11:28 AM on 09/01/2011

I only agree with about half of this. You should have a baby when you want one.I think it's important that your spouse and you agree what you want to do, but space, money etc will be things you need as the kid gets older - not for a newborn.They need mostly time, and a loving family. I was a homeless hippy back when I decided to go off the pill and have my oldest daughter. You know for the first 6 months they don't even eat yet (and back then we had cloth diapers). By the time they are in school they start to cost a lot and it gets more and more as they are older. It's not a decision to be taken lightly, but you don't have to put it off until you do everything else first.Your life isn't over when you have a kid. Like traveling might cost a little more for example, but before they start school they are still on your schedule.

[sunnybunny]

02:12 PM on 09/01/2011

Another thing that bugs me here is you don't even mention considering your health before you decide to get pregnant. Really?

[Sheilah Kring]

02:25 AM on 09/01/2011

So... according to this article, everyone who has a baby has to be married? What if you're gay and it's illegal to get married in your state. What if you're 37, completely ready to have a baby, and independent, and don't have a partner?

Well, it's good to know this article is completely objective...

[ABrager]

07:55 PM on 09/04/2011

The article was originally written for a website that's geared towards women who are in their 20's. If it were written for a different publication, with a larger demographic, I'm sure there would be other factors discussed.

[J R M]

12:55 AM on 09/01/2011

You don't really need a different room for the baby. My wife always kept the baby in bed with her/us. She didn't really have to fully wake up to nurse the baby at night. Eventually, you will want more room, but that can be a few years out. Just remember, slavery may have been outlawed, and women are not their husband's slave, but they pretty much are their infant's slave for many months.

You can't put a car seat into a sports car so goodby miata, but subcompacts (even 2 door models) work fine. I certainly did it.

Kids take money, but they take far far more time - like all of it, not only from their mother but from the father or any available adult. But they can be far more rewarding than any toy. And if you harbor any left over resentments over their treatment of you, just think - you get to watch them raise their own children.

[octobertwinmom]

11:58 PM on 08/31/2011

1. How do you feel about gaining 80lbs in less than a year?
2. Do you believe that you will just go on living your normal life.... only with a new little cute companion?
3. How do you perform on 2 hours of sleep?
4. Does a newborn carseat fit in your backseat? If not, what color minivan best describes YOU as a mom?
5. Are you comfortable being screamed at for about 4 years straight?

One more (I cant resist throwing in a trick question):

Q. How do you feel about a baby crying on an airplane? What do you think the mother is doing wrong with the infant?

[GraniteSkyline]

10:22 AM on 09/04/2011

Too funny! Too accurate!

[Niasia]

02:51 PM on 08/31/2011

Just think, all your money and time goes out the door. Nope, not ready. Probably never will be.

[Lisa Shields]

10:28 AM on 08/31/2011

While there are strong points in this article, one was started, but sort of left dangling.

You MUST be on the same page as your spouse, when it comes to children. This means if you married someone who stated plainly that they didn't want children, don't surprise them. A couch or a cat they may learn to love...but a child they didn't ask for? Not a good idea.

And while finances are important, I suspect too many women have learned that even when their partner feels ready for a child, they may not be a 50/50 participant...even if both parents are employed outside the home. The baby is still "woman's work" to some men...and once you have the child, if you have an unwilling partner, you will have to choose between neglecting your baby to make a point, or shouldering more of the care than is fair.

I don't like it...but I've seen it happen, even to the most "enlightened".

[kel]

08:12 AM on 08/31/2011

It is hard. I always wanted to be a mom. I had no idea of the trauma that could be involved. Yes I had over 230 sutures to my hoo ha, and months of complications. If a mom told me she pushed a few times and out came baby I wanted to smack her.
Sleep? It was crazy. Also it was here to stay it wasn't like babysitting where you get to go home.
I went on to have two more children (thankfully c sections were for my future phew) and today they all left for the first day of school. My son is a senior, daughter 1 sophomore and the baby is a 7th grader. I miss being home with them. I loved it after I got the hang of losing my identity and having a good sense of humor with my husband of 19 years.

[HellBank]

07:19 AM on 08/31/2011

Children? They spend your money don't they?

[Omentum]

06:45 PM on 08/30/2011

It's a whole new world.

be ready