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9/11 Widows Deena Burnett-Bailey, Kristen Breitweiser: No One Can Speak For All Victims

Deena Burnett

First Posted: 09/09/11 02:04 PM ET Updated: 11/09/11 05:12 AM ET

In the midst of the 2004 presidential election, two women widowed by al Qaeda found themselves on opposing sides of a rancorous debate over national security as each supported the candidate they believed would best prevent another 9/11.

Deena Burnett-Bailey, whose husband Tom Burnett died after fighting back against the hijackers on United Airlines Flight 93, took to the stage of the Republican National Convention for a moment in front of the television cameras.

Kristen Breitweiser, who lost her husband Ronald in the World Trade Center's second tower, barnstormed campaign stops to help John Kerry win over "security moms."

Seven years later, both women have largely stepped back from politics to raise their children. Both now look back on the positions they took during the course of that tumultuous election with no regret, but a certain amount of worldly hindsight.

Despite the roles they were thrust into by tragedy, Burnett-Bailey and Breitweiser say they never thought they could serve as voices for the victims of Sept. 11 -- and that no one can.

Simply reading the list of the nearly 3,000 people who died that day can chill the heart. The number of friends and family members who lost some treasured part of their life is unimaginable. Between just Breitweiser and Burnett-Bailey, who has since remarried, four children lost a father on 9/11.

There are a dizzying array of organizations that claim some link to September 11 victims. Some profess political neutrality: Families of September 11, Voices of September 11th, Tuesday's Children. Others have thrust themselves into the charged debates over torture or the so-called Ground Zero mosque: 9/11 Families for a Safe & Strong America has squared off against 9/11 Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, for example.

None, according to several victims' family members interviewed for by The Huffington Post, can claim to speak for all those who lost someone that day. Neither Breitweiser nor Burnett-Bailey are members of any.

"With the thousands of us, you have thousands of opinions and values, and even many different cultures, so no there is no one voice," Burnett-Bailey said. "And collectively, there is no one person who has been put in charge of being that voice -- nor will there ever be."

Nevertheless, Burnett-Bailey knew how her appearance at the Republican National Convention would be received. She said she "voted for George W. Bush, and had the intention of promoting other people to vote for him by being there."

But that, she added, "was not my passion in going. My passion was in going to tell Tom's story."

And the speech she prepared for the RNC reflects that aim: she spoke not of parties or candidates, but of the lesson the heroic final moments of her husband's life held for other Americans:

Whether it is serving in the military, doing volunteer work or simply helping your neighbor, it is our responsibility as citizens of the greatest nation in the world to "do something."

The heroes of 911 weren't created that day.

Their actions were the result of virtues practiced over a lifetime.

The most fitting memorial we could build would not consist of marble, glass or fountains.

It would be a living memorial -- carved in our hearts and actions by faith, courage and integrity.

When Breitweiser spoke, she was often more confrontational. In 2004, in the midst of pushing for President Bush to speak before the 9/11 Commission -- which her advocacy played a key role in creating -- Breitweiser told a reporter, "Three thousand innocent people were murdered on his watch. The least he can do is cooperate with the commission charged with investigating those murders."

Rush Limbaugh and the Wall Street Journal's editorial board lambasted her. In 2006, Ann Coulter, referring to her work on the 9/11 Commission, said she and the other "Jersey Girls" were acting "as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them... I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much."

In one part of her response on The Huffington Post to Coulter's much-disparaged charge, Breitweiser wrote, "Sadly, in many cases, such public pressure (and its possible effect on Election Day) is needed to inspire elected officials to do the right thing."

That was why Breitweiser went to work for the Kerry in 2004, believing the candidate would do a much better job than Bush in investigating the mistakes that led to the Sept. 11 attacks. "We always made it very clear that we did not speak for the 9/11 families," she said. In fact, she remembers, if anyone left that impression, "you just got clobbered for it."

Washington, Breitweiser believes, is a "dog and pony show" where politicians and TV producers use people "for a photo op." She loathed the way producers set her up against other widows with different political viewpoints for ratings.

"I was told flat out that it's good television, and I think that's a shame," Breitweiser said. "I think one of the lessons we should have learned out of 9/11 is the danger that can creep out of polarized views."

But for a time, she was willing to be used.

"I don't think it should work that way, but unfortunately the only way we got things in Washington was by embarrassing people or stacking them into a corner so they had to," Breitweiser said.

Now that Barack Obama has disappointed her in fulfilling the 9/11 Commission's unfinished work, however, she has given up on Democrats.

"We've all sort of moved on into the more private part of our lives," Breitweiser said of her work with the three other suburban New Jersey widows who pressed for the committee. "You get to a certain point where you realize it's just an exercise in futility trying to get anything done in Washington."

Burnett-Bailey, who lives in Little Rock, Ark., said the 9/11 families will continue to recede from national prominence. That is not something she has any regrets about. Other issues and other people, she said, will take the spotlight in the next election: "In 2004 that was 9/11 families, in 2012 it will not be."

Burnett-Bailey and her children were invited to Sunday's official September 11 service, which both Presidents Bush and Obama will attend. Instead, they are traveling to Pepperdine University for the dedication of a memorial garden named after her husband, a graduate.

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In the midst of the 2004 presidential election, two women widowed by al Qaeda found themselves on opposing sides of a rancorous debate over national security as each supported the candidate they belie...
In the midst of the 2004 presidential election, two women widowed by al Qaeda found themselves on opposing sides of a rancorous debate over national security as each supported the candidate they belie...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bmitche
04:59 PM on 09/10/2011
"No one can speak for all victims" I'm sure no one would argue that point.
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WillowBreeze
A smile is your personal welcome mat.
03:45 PM on 09/10/2011
Putting aside the emotional aspect of mourning a loved one, I view my personal loss as what it is . . . the result of a tragedy. Metaphorically speaking, when a toddler begins to walk, eventually he/she stops falling. We’ve had our wakeup call and we have grown by it. To some degree, the pain has diminished, but precious memories will remain constant and cherished forever . . . not just for one but for all.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
xkglady
03:36 PM on 09/10/2011
"IMAGINE," by John Lennon....We're NOT STANDING UP FOR 'FREEDOM OF RELIGION," we're being made to tolerate and be sensative to others' religious beliefs, but are being drowned out of the Christian and Judiasm Religions, why? America's forefathers founded this nation on the premise of "Freedom of Religion!" Morals, values and respect of others and their beliefs should be emphasized. You don't have to worship or even believe in another's religious cultural beliefs, but RESPECT of them, should be upheld. Prayer is important and is a foundation that will keep families together and perhaps bring world peace?
"IMAGINE!"
02:49 PM on 09/10/2011
I still remember the OK bombing and have always wondered, why those victims are not remembered. Why the pouring out of money was not anything like the money that went to 9/11 victims. Money could never replace the victims, but why so much of a difference? I could never begin to imagine the terrible loss and pain of the victims families, but I`ll not watch all the tears and pain on all those faces again. I`ll say a prayer for them and move on.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
xkglady
02:43 PM on 09/10/2011
February 26, 1993, FIRST WORLD TRADE CENTER BOMBING, let's not forget those lost there and those New Yorker's and all Americans whom have experienced the devastation and the upset of our national security being infiltrated, leaving us off guard and in fear of the uncertainty!
We need to protect against World War III, right here on our soil. Our political leaders need to be vigilant and assertively aggressive in protecting our shores and its people! "We The People," need to ban together and speak up to our leaders to protect us and rebuild our nation to the point of financial stability and enforcement of criminal laws, not tolerating terrorism or any violent crimes against our nation or its people! "We The People," deserve to feel safe and have the ability to live "FREE!"
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
xkglady
02:35 PM on 09/10/2011
Empathize, understand, listen and pray, as no two persons alike will ever experience the same emotions, pain, of loss, crisis or any tragedy, not even a festive occassion, everyone deals with events in their own ways! Some may seem to laugh in the face of danger, doesn't mean they're not afraid, devastated, it may be their hidden fear being exhibited. My belief is that those directly and indirectly experiencing survival, are victims of and/or have lost loved ones on this devastating day, all USA and Americans Worldwide, have been devastated by the loss of trust of our national security being violated, and feeling the effects of 9/11/01, some stories should be, but aren't told. Perhaps stories of the 911 operators, their exasperation in listening to the heartwrenching screams, persons voices in crisis and not being able to send help to rescue them fast enough, if ever! First responders, those before, during and after the aftermath of this devastating day, haven't been heard. Whether directly or indirectly involved, most compassionate human beings do feel the emotional affects of this day and do have empathy for those survivors, victims and their loved ones! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Respiratory ailments may be on the rise due to air qualities not being up to standard code, and that our national security will forever be questioned! May God Bless All with good health, happiness, safety, courage, strength, wisdom, compassion, and life's greatest treasures filled with World Peace!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sparkygirl91
Never apply lipstick while driving on gravel
04:52 PM on 09/10/2011
Thank you xklady. So eloquently put, brought tears to my eyes (again).
02:23 PM on 09/10/2011
Whether it was 911 others have lost spouses to tragic incidences. I lost my husband to a car accident and received nothing the individual who caused the accident failed to be responsible for anything and the law did not assist me and my children anything but to suffer a loss of a spouse, father, and friend. It is sad that everyone wants to be recognized but people lose loved ones everyday. It is difficult to move on from such a tragic end but relationship you both moved on and are married to someone else. Don't blame the president and the democrats for failing, the economy and Government has failed everyone.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Your name here
"There are no facts, only interpretations"
04:30 PM on 09/10/2011
Been there. F & F
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davyjones2112
Top o' the world ma !!
02:21 PM on 09/10/2011
What makes a Hero? It seems like we all have a different idea of what a Hero is. I do know this: Many of those people still alive in the burning Towers were faced with 2 choices
Stay inside and burn to death Or Commit suicide and jump out a window
That is a choice no human should ever have to make! It seems at first that the easy answer is JUMP. But how many of us would really be able to do it if faced with that situation??? Its no surprise some waited til they were on fire to jump. I dont know if those people were "Heroes" but they certainly had courage!
02:17 PM on 09/10/2011
F&F. You are 100% right. Somehow along the way all of that was forgotten so hatred could take its place. 9/11 has become part of our history and will be remebered for the turn of events and lives lost that changed part of our way of life. Very good post.
02:01 PM on 09/10/2011
I lost my MOM and little sister suddenly and its been 6 years now. While i am fine, that week is always a tough one. It always reminds me to live well, live bold and live with purpose.
amd2857
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
01:44 PM on 09/10/2011
amd2857 I believe all the so called memorials should stop as well. We know what happened. Let these people grieve alone and reflect the way they care too. you can not have a Memorial without a Religious leader on hand. They make it a Circus Ground every year now. Let all get on with their lives in Peace. My prayers are with all who perished and their families. along with ,my condolences. Someone stated the tv will not be on mine wont either. sorry my keys are not working. But in my heart i support all families no matter what race color creed etc. Instead of these shannigans send someone a sympathy letter that would be more appreciative. GOD BLESS TO ALL.
01:23 PM on 09/10/2011
I cannot believe that they are doing the 10th Anniversary Memorial without any clergymen. You have just told the religion that did this to America that they really won!!!
Has everyone forgotten that the first listed death and picture was of a NYFD Chaplain who died on duty? I hope that the NYFD boycotts this anniversary until clergy are invited.
I am boycotting all to do with this unless clergy are a strong presence there.
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WillowBreeze
A smile is your personal welcome mat.
04:05 PM on 09/10/2011
Pamiss: As we speak, a special mass is in progress at Saint Patrick's Cathedral for the first responders. I'm certain others faiths are doing the same. Is it necessary for the clergy to have a strong presence? In choosing what one wishes to believe, the Big Guy is already there so why do we require all the messengers.
01:18 PM on 09/10/2011
Everyone of us are going to die someday. It may be in a car crash, tornado, shark attack, or just old age..but we are all going to die. We are not heroes for simply dying. Most of the people in the Towers were there because they had to work. If we keep reliving this date over and over and over I think it encourages the enemies. Let's move on and stop giving the enemies hope. It's almost like they have been doing 9/11 bombings for 10 years.
02:17 PM on 09/10/2011
When you forget or ignore then history repeats itself.
ae12wrangell
Everybody is entitled to my opinion
04:22 PM on 09/10/2011
or, "Those who ignore,
are destined to repeat". Uncertain off the author
01:04 PM on 09/10/2011
All of you need to move on. Yes, very tragic to lose a loved one. But you got millions of dollars because of this. Do people get millions because their loved one was killed by a drunk driver? Do people get millions if they are in a bank and it is robbed and they are shot and killed during the robbery? NO. You got millions because this was planned by the United States and it was 'hush money'.
02:19 PM on 09/10/2011
Yeah, planned by the U.S. What a moronic statement.
02:42 PM on 09/10/2011
You're one sad individual, petpetdonna!!!
12:42 PM on 09/10/2011
I am still upset by the images shown the other day of a man falling from one of the Twin Towers as it burned..These folks who lost their lives that day and the heroes who gave theirs to save them should be respected and remembered..The best thing we, as Americans ,can do to honor their memory is to be vigilant,and carry on living knowing that the strength of our nation lies in the people who love her...Thank you to our police,firemen ,soldiers,first reponders for all you do ..RIP Cheryl....never forgotten..