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Baby Products You Don't Need: 11 Useless Baby 'Essentials'

First Posted: 09/12/11 08:51 AM ET   Updated: 11/12/11 05:12 AM ET

The moment your pregnancy test shows positive, the list of "needs" in your life suddenly shifts -- and grows and grows and grows. You may find yourself lost in the aisles of Buy Buy Baby, certain you won’t be able to live without every last high-end baby monitor, super swaddle and BPA free bottle on the shelves. The truth is -– and we know you know this, deep down -– there are only a few essentials, and once you become a parent, you won't have time for the extras. Herewith, the un-registry, a list of products we think are really good for one thing: a great big laugh.

Have a look, then tell us if you agree by voting or leaving a note in the comments!

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  • Prenatal MP3 Player

    <strong>If you're thinking...</strong> The surefire way to send baby to an Ivy League school is by playing Mozart through $100 wearable speakers. <strong> Remember...</strong> Singing. It's free. Also, uplifting. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • Designer Barf Bags

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>Oh, right, I need to look CHIC while I feel worse than my last hangover. <strong>Remember... </strong>A bag draped in diamonds won't cure you. Ginger ale, saltines and - with luck -- the second trimester will. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • The Peekaru

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>It's like a Snuggie. Who doesn't love a Snuggie? <strong>Remember... </strong>Snuggie-mania is over. And your baby will stay just as warm if you pull a fleece jacket around your longer-lasting, easier-to-use, Ergo. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • The Hair Bib

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>Spaghetti sauce, you've met your match. <strong>Remember... </strong>There's a reason why God invented bath-time. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • Over-The-Door Baby Hanger

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>When you gotta go, you gotta go. <strong>Remember... </strong>Your arms. Babies like to be in them. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • Baby Perfume

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>My baby spits up and passes gas and has unbelievable blowouts. <strong>Remember... </strong>A. Join the club. B. Have you never smelled a baby's head? There's your perfume, people. via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • Baby Bathrobe

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>Oh how cute! <strong>Remember...</strong> It's just another step, cut out the middle man and go straight to PJs. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • Padded Baby Helmet

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>She's going to hurt herself. <strong>Remember... </strong>Of course she is. That's why you baby proof the house, don't house proof the baby. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • My Pee Pee Bottle

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>Kiddo loves when something is <em>his</em>. <strong>Remember... </strong>It's potty training, not bottle training. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • The Time-Out Pad

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>I might forget someone's in Time Out without a timer and flashing lights... <strong>Remember...</strong> Kitchen timers. iPhone alarms. And, your child... he's right over there in the corner. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)

  • The Baby Mop

    <strong>If you're thinking... </strong>Move over, Swiffer. <strong>Remember... </strong>What the Swiffer pads look like after you clean up. (via <a href="" target="_hplink"></a>)


Filed by Jessica Samakow  |