1. The Upper Peninsula
Night of: Attempting to finish a keg that needs to be returned. Throughout the session, one of your huskier friends will insist on performing the “lift test” every few minutes, and will repeatedly tell you you’re “getting close.”
Symptoms: Renal failure.
Cure: A single slice of cold pizza.
2. The Spray Tan
Night of: Beer and tiki drinks after many hours of direct sun.
Symptoms: Mild nausea, dehydration, melanoma.
Cure: A smoothie of fruit, aloe vera, and raw egg.
3. The Secret Shopper
Night of: Consumption of products bought after alcohol sales cease for the night (cooking wine, vanilla extract, etc.)
Symptoms: Memory loss, nausea, rosemary poisoning.
Cure: Pancakes and pork chops.