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Temporary Marriage Licenses: Mexican Lawmakers Suggest Pre-Nups That Enrage The Church

MARK STEVENSON   09/30/11 09:41 PM ET   AP

Mexico Wedding Contract

MEXICO CITY — The Roman Catholic Church reacted harshly Friday to a bill proposed by Mexico City legislators that would require all couples to sign a prenuptial agreement specifying how to handle child custody and other issues in case of divorce – and estimating how long the marriage is expected to last.

Sponsors of the bill submitted this week in the city council say the proposal aims to cut down on the lengthy, nasty divorce proceedings choking the capital district's courts, by making potential couples decide about monetary and custody issues by mutual agreement before they get married.

But the bill also says "the duration of the marriage will be bound by the terms that the couple negotiate in the familial agreement, which shall not be less than two years."

Asking a prospective bride to calculate the date of her eventual divorce might seem like throwing a bucket of cold water, instead of a bouquet, at civil marriage proceedings.

But Carlos Torres, spokesman for legislator Lizbeth Rosas, one of the bill's sponsors, said that shouldn't be the case.

"People can specify terms of 99 years, or 'til death do us part,' if they think the marriage, or their lives, are going to last that long," Torres said.

Catholic leaders don't see it that way.

Asking couples to put a "sell-by" date on wedding vows is "totally absurd," said the Rev. Hugo Valdemar, spokesman for the Catholic archdiocese for the capital region.

"This is a proposal made by people who do not understand the nature of marriage," Valdemar said. "It is not a commercial contract; it is a contract between two people for a life project, and the creation of a family."

"This denigrates the concept of the family ... and makes it more like a pact between friends," he said.

Torres, who prefers to call the agreements "renewable marriage" contracts, said there were about 40 divorces for every 100 marriages in 2009-10, according to the most recent figures from Mexico City marriage registries.

"We are looking for solutions to problems that are seen every day in family courts ... in which there is emotional blackmail, or the children are used as pawns," Torres said. "This would cut down of the torturous proceedings at the time of a divorce."

The bill is meant to solve a big problem in the city of 8.9 million people, where divorce proceedings are so costly, painful and time consuming that many people just skip them and start a new family.

"After 20 years, they haven't gotten their legal situation settled, and a lot of times they just start a new family without having gotten a divorce," which can complicate inheritance, child support and other questions, Torres said.

The law, which was sent to a city council committee for study, would also require couples to take classes about the practical aspects of marriage before tying the knot.

The proposal would also allow couples commit to which religion, if any, their children would be raised in, Torres notes.

That provision didn't satisfy the church, which has locked horns before with Rosas' leftist Democratic Revolution Party, the PRD, over the party's decisions to legalize gay marriage and abortion in Mexico City.

"This is just another of these proposals by the PRD, which is a deeply irresponsible party," Valdemar said. "In order to appear fashionable ... they are destroying the family and values."

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03:21 AM on 11/16/2011
Good for Rev. Valdemar since he isn't going to get married like most of us. It's always the ideal with the religious types not the practical and realistic.If the less successful spouse loves the richer spouse then it won't make a difference if he or she signs a contract that would clearly define what would happen to their conjugal wealth. I say go for it PRD
07:42 AM on 10/06/2011
Thats a great idea, because lets face it, it would spell out what will happen if a Divorce happens and it will be like a 4 year term for a President, then you can do your re-election campaign a year out. The lady is spoiled and the man gets another term or vice-versa
02:08 AM on 10/04/2011
Oh great, Marriage and a mulligan (do-over)
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Edogg62
10:04 AM on 10/03/2011
Hey Catholic Church (or ALL churches)... EVOLVE. Oh but wait... the decrepit old man in the funny hat who thinks "God" is talking to him disagrees... ha ha ha.
02:09 AM on 10/04/2011
yeah I love the argument "for the sanctity of marriage" when the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%.
06:28 PM on 10/02/2011
" "This is just another of these proposals by the PRD, which is a deeply irresponsible party," Valdemar said. "In order to appear fashionable ... they are destroying the family and values." "

And once again, the Catholic Church shows how lacking in common sense and how divorced from reality they are. There is divorce in Mexico, and it sounds like it can be as messy as in the US. The legislators are making an attempt to reduce some of the problems occurring in the divorce process by looking at pre-marriage preparation.

I like the idea of a legal requirement to go marriage counseling for the practical aspects of marriage. Love does not solve all problems - if you are a spender and the spouse to be is a saver, either you have to work that out or your marriage will be a rocky road. How much, really, do couples discuss those aspect before tying the knot, if they are not required by their church to attend pre-marital counseling??

The Church bleating about marriage for life, etc., is a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing, relevant only to a continually decreasing percentage of the population.
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Targa3141
11:47 PM on 10/02/2011
SO true!
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
03:26 PM on 10/02/2011
Hmm. Merely a government facing reality. Basically, it sounds like a prenup. Not really all that bad an idea. That the Catholic Church is opposed to it, I am not really all that surprised since the believe that "marriage is forever" unless you are willing to payoff some Cardinal and get the marriage annulled--yes, I am saying that the Church can be bought.

At least this seems to be putting the realities right smack in the face of the couples who want to marry. Sure does a better job than all of the pre-marriage counseling that is supposed to work. I bet it gets both parties attention at least. Divy up the property right at the start so you know who gets what. Go for it Mexico.
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Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
09:19 PM on 10/01/2011
There's also something else as to the prenups. By law (federal) when you marry by the civil register, you must decide whether you want joint or separate property. That means if you decide separate property and you get divorced, whatever you have accumulated during the marriage will go to the person whose name is on the deed or bill. If you decide joint property, then everything is split down the middle. So a prenup would settle what then?
RealistBC
Micro-bios must pass muster.
07:22 PM on 10/01/2011
To paraphrase Monty Python, "INTERCOURSE the Church!" What business do a bunch of allegedly sexless men have meddling in sexual relationships between consenting adults? If they were so happy to be sexual eunuchs, why do so many of them pursue children for sex?
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
03:28 PM on 10/02/2011
But they meddle in just about everything. Maybe that is the way of sexual eunuchs are. However, recent past history of the "Church's eunuchs" seem to indicate that they may not be such.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
peegan
Silence like a cancer grows...S/G.
04:00 PM on 10/01/2011
What a dumb idea. First, I guarantee you 99.9% of the marriage contracts will be for life, because few women will settle for less going in. And you can not possibly decide custody issues before there are even children. How do you know what type of parent your prospective spouse will be? Of course when you marry you are convinced they'll be the best. But it doesn't always turn out that way.

Prenups are great for financial issues. I have one myself. But custody? Forget about it.
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littleraerae
08:16 PM on 10/01/2011
Exactly! How are they supposed to predict their lives when they're probably young, dumb, and hopeful?
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07:23 PM on 10/03/2011
don't forget horny. It's been shown that the brain in love is just like the brain on heroin, emotions turned on, reason turned off.
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
03:32 PM on 10/02/2011
I think the point here is that they are slapped in the face with reality right at the onset. It forces them to think, well, at least a little bit. This is not say that many will go ahead and sign for lifetime, but hopefully some will think a bit.

Of course you do not know how your spouse will turn out over the years. You age and grow in one direction or another. One hopes that you and your spouse will grow along the same general lines, you will be of a similar mind about things. Life is strange, and it does not always work out that way.

As to custody, who knows how that will work. After raising a kid for a few years, one of the spouses may just think it is a burden, they started out great but then the process wears one down.
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UDKM2010
Life is better in Boardshorts.
08:39 AM on 10/01/2011
Two year lease with the option to renew. Sounds sensible to me.
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rickpark1
11:45 PM on 09/30/2011
Well at least you can mark the days off a calendar with a set goal. just saying....OR. just hear me out now,,You could give the Preacher $500.00 dollars and take you behind the church kick you in the nards and call it even....like nat'l lampoon Vegas vacation kind of stuff..
01:53 PM on 09/30/2011
This sounds like going steady, no? (Do people still do that?)
http://www.goodenoughmother.com/2011/09/the-gem-debate-the-two-year-marriage/
12:13 PM on 09/30/2011
In this scenario, why bother? Just live together
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Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
03:52 AM on 10/01/2011
I'm Mexican and I live in Mexico City. I'm basicly ok with prenups to a point. I don't think custody should be decided beforehand because you don't really know what kind of parent your spouse will be. One can only guess. However, I have serious issues with establishing a "use by" date for a marriage. I'm not religious! I just think that what would even be the point of getting married for two years? How could you even feel excited about entering a marriage? Plus this legislator said on TV that if you didn't renew the contract the divorce would go into effect automatically. I'm Mexican! We leave paperwork until the last possible date for renewal. This would be a disaster.
RealistBC
Micro-bios must pass muster.
07:24 PM on 10/01/2011
You offer better counter-arguments than anyone else is likely to do.
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
03:35 PM on 10/02/2011
Actually a good point. However, I think the automatic kick-in could be controlled in the law. However, the two year period was the minimum, they could sign up for longer. If they accidentally got divorced because of laziness or other reasons, they could just go and remarry, nothing would prevent that.