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Billy Graham, 92, Reflects On Growing Old In New Memoir, 'Nearing Home: Life, Faith And Finishing Well'

First Posted: 10/04/11 05:35 PM ET   Updated: 11/09/11 11:56 AM ET

By Adelle M. Banks
Religion News Service

(RNS) For much of his 92 years, Billy Graham has had one main title: evangelist.

But in a new memoir set in the twilight of his remarkable life, Graham reveals a lesser-known side of himself: a grieving and ailing widower who has difficulty getting up from a chair or putting on his shoes.

"I can't truthfully say that I have liked growing older," Graham writes in "Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well," which hits bookstores on Oct. 18. "At times I wish I could still do everything I once did -- but I can't."

To be sure, his book includes his signature focus on evangelism, asking non-Christian readers numerous times to come to Jesus before it is too late. But most of the book's 180 pages are filled with messages on growing old, or preparing younger readers for the reality of old age.

"All my life I was taught how to die as a Christian, but no one ever taught me how I ought to live in the years before I die," he writes in the introduction. "I wish they had because I am an old man now and believe me, it's not easy."

So, a month before he turns 93, Graham has become a teacher of sorts in How to Grow Old 101.

Stay involved, he recommends. And spend wisely. As the great-grandfather of 43, he warns against going into debt buying expensive gifts for grandchildren.

Prepare a will and medical directives to reduce family conflict after you're gone, he advises. And look out for the "hidden perils" of depression, anger and self-absorption.

"Sometimes I have to force my mind to turn away from whatever problem is absorbing me at the moment and make myself focus on the needs of others," he writes.

Despite their limitations, he assures, the senior years can nevertheless be rewarding. He cites biblical examples, including Moses, who died at 120 after leading the Egyptians to the Promised Land, and Elizabeth, who gave birth to John the Baptist though "well along in years."

"Are you willing to be used by God regardless of being bound by physical ailments, financial constraint, or the loneliness of growing old?" asks the man who once crisscrossed the world but now seldom leaves his home in the North Carolina mountains.

He counsels on a range of possibilities: getting involved in church or other ministries, helping others who may be ill or grieving, and building a mature faith through books and Bible study.

"God forbid that we should ever retire from prayer, the sweetest work of the soul," he writes.

Graham even manages to find humor in the gradual loss of senses that accompanies old age. Recalling hearing younger people screaming "Can you hear me?" into their cell phones, he said: "It's sometimes comical to hear the younger generation ask their peers to repeat themselves."

For years, news reports have chronicled Graham's physical decline: pneumonia, hearing and vision loss, even tripping over his dog. His wheelchair, cane and walker now are close to his bed, and he dictated the book that took him several years to write.

"I often wonder if God, in his sovereignty, allows the eyesight of the aged to cast a dim view of the here and now so that we may focus our spiritual eyes on the ever after," he writes.

Graham reserves his most poignant prose about grief for his beloved wife Ruth, who died in 2007, two years after he held his last official crusade in New York. He always thought she would outlive him.

"Not a day passes that I don't imagine her walking through my study door or us sitting together on our porch as we did so often, holding hands as the sun set over the mountaintops," he writes.

In recent years, Graham has marked his Nov. 7 birthday with a media release about his hopes for a heavenly home. In the book, Graham writes that he looks forward to death because he's eager to be reunited with his wife. In the meantime, he appreciates the "touches of Ruth" in each room of his house.

"Before long Ruth and I will be reunited in heaven," he writes. "More than ever, I look forward to that day!"

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Evangelist Billy Graham at his home in the mountains of Montreat near Asheville, North Carolina. Billy was born November 7, 1918 on a dairy farm near Charlotte, North Carolina.

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By Adelle M. Banks Religion News Service (RNS) For much of his 92 years, Billy Graham has had one main title: evangelist. But in a new memoir set in the twilight of his remarkable life, Graham ...
By Adelle M. Banks Religion News Service (RNS) For much of his 92 years, Billy Graham has had one main title: evangelist. But in a new memoir set in the twilight of his remarkable life, Graham ...
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08:47 PM on 10/13/2011
Thank You Billy Graham, I still watch your crusades on TV.......I did not come from a family that believed in God........well let me say this.......I went to church every Sunday with my gramma, I held onto a lot of the teachings, my gramma was an alcoholic before she turned her life to the Lord, I grew up around alcoholics my entire life, until I was almost killed by a drunk driver, my Mom came to nurse me the first year, I was so happy that I had her the last 3 years of her life, we talked about a lot of things, and I knew that she went to be with the Lord in the hospital room and her and I had talked about you about you a few months before she passed, she thought you were the best, I think she new she was going to leave, after cleaning up all of her stuff, I found her little Bible, and there was a 5.00 bill in the 23rd Psalm.......Thank you for all of your work here on this earth, I did die 2 times during my crash, I know for a fact that God kept me to help others........Bless you:))
04:21 PM on 10/13/2011
Dear Dr. Graham,

The world can't repay you for your dedication and all the work you have put in but, we all know that you didn't do it to be repaid.

I look on your influence with great respect and admiration. You took your calling and you acted on it - I wish I could have done a fraction of what you have done for humankind.

I thank God for giving the world a truly authentic leader like you.

God bless you, Bill Graham.
06:20 PM on 10/11/2011
I respect Reverand Graham. His first sermon was in Bostwick, Florida (ten minutes from where I live), where he was a Bible school student. He was 18, the year was 1938. Not being pleased with his performance, Billy returned a short time later and preached again.

He is a man that does not forget where he comes from, having returned to the same small town he got his start in over 60 years later. He conducts himself with dignity, respect for his fellow mankind, and with class. That's something a lot of us could do well to learn.
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
01:12 AM on 10/11/2011
Caption suggestion; "Who you gonna believe ME, or your own bible?"
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rutroGeorge
Silence is Golden, unless I have something to bark
11:30 PM on 10/10/2011
What I realize now about Billy Graham, being able to compare what's out there now to what I grew up being drawn to in front of the television is... it was just him, the Word, and his passion and gift for delivering it. No pyrotechnics, no video screen in the background or loud praise music piping in, and likewise no celestial sounding choir necessary either.
Just His humble servant speaking the Word in front of one microphone on one podium. Maybe a potted palm on either side.
Then at the end he would ask those who felt moved to, to come down and join him at the front of the stage to receive Him in their hearts and lives, while one simple single hymn played in the background as they descended.
What a gift, what a man, what a blessing.
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
02:52 AM on 10/13/2011
I use to listen, I took the free Bible study course he offered. It was the least helpful Bible information offer I ever received, I offered the people who looked over the test papers sent back in a chance to see where they were wrong. I know the Graham people looked over the Bible game I offered free, or for a dollar or two to help cover the costs and their having it offered them the opportunity to see where they were wrong on "hell', but they never seemed to appreciate the opportunity to be right.
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rutroGeorge
Silence is Golden, unless I have something to bark
02:41 PM on 10/13/2011
That's unfortunate. I cannot speak for his organization, only for his excellent "crusades" he used to hold on TV when I was younger.

An excellent Bible Study course is "Discipleship I." Perhaps a church in your area conducts it. Its pretty intense, a full year, but so worth it re its coverage, enlightenment, explanation and even "reality checks" on all things Bible.
02:38 PM on 10/10/2011
No other person in the 20th century has done more to eliminate religious freedoms, promote religious bias and tear down the wall of seperation of church and state than this guy...
05:03 PM on 10/10/2011
How so?
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11:00 AM on 10/10/2011
I am always amazed (shocked??) at the attitudes of some Christians. They think just because they "believe" something they are guaranteed a spot in Heaven. No matter that they might not have lived a good, charitable life....as long as they say "I believe and accept Jesus as my lord and saviour" they think they've reserved a seat in heaven.

Only God knows who will end up where, and I think a lot of these people are in for a rude awakening when their time is up.
02:39 PM on 10/10/2011
You're right on all points but one...There is no god in the after life becasue there is no after life...
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HGfromOmaha
A hungry, free man not a well-fed slave
10:44 PM on 10/10/2011
I'm not 100% sure of that so I can't say I agree with you. But I understand where you're coming from.

I say, only the dead truly know. And from where I stand, they pretty much know nothing......
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
01:20 AM on 10/11/2011
And you seem to think that is true, don't you? however I know for a fact that you cannot possibly know from experience that that is true. Just as I can be pretty sure that you cannot tell me where the Universe stops or what all is out there, or if it never stops and you may not even be able to tell me correctly why gravity works and why a Styrofoam ball and a steel ball will fall at the same rate in a perfect vacuum.
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erehwon man
don't drink the holy water!
09:10 PM on 10/09/2011
One last thought on the good Dr. Graham. I don't know how people find him so wonderful
and pious. Remember those comments at the White House with Nixon? The one's
regarding the Jews? Shouldn't a man who presents himself as a humble servant of the
Lord find something compassionate to say about a people who were 1. the original people
of the Bible 2. people who suffered terribly during WWll. 3. fairly big contributors to Nixon's campaigns.

Just seems that all these saintly evangelists have a dark side, as do we all, but their
self righteousness prevents them from acknowledging it until it becomes a major
public issue.
03:42 PM on 10/09/2011
Man is this guy going to be disappointed with the afterlife!
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logicanada
Blogger, radio co-host, writer, editor, voice-over
12:25 AM on 10/09/2011
Graham could well live to be 1,000. God is in no rush to take him.
12:07 AM on 10/09/2011
I hope you have a heavenly peace some day, Reverend Graham, and thank you for your great words of comfort and peace to those of us mired in the here and now. I also thank you for the way you raised the children you and Ruth had. I have listened to Anne and love the way she puts life in perspective. She has a wonderful way with words and their meaning, and won't let the media push aside her views. Thank you for your service to the Lord and to humanity everywhere.
09:08 PM on 10/08/2011
You wouldn't have to worry about going into debt buying presents for 43 fricken grandkids if you had just used contraception early on. No remorse for draining little ole senile ladies of their life savings due to your constant and incessant demand for "love offerings" to support your own families lavish lifestyle, eh Billy. Shame shame shame.

p.s. You won't be joining anyone in heaven any time soon, according to your own bronze age belief system, no one gets to heaven until the second coming. Right now all your dead loved ones are still six feet under, impatiently tapping their skeletal toes, wondering what's taking him so damn long.
03:54 PM on 10/08/2011
TO: DR. BILLY GRAHAM,
FROM: CLAUDIA HUMPHREY
DATE: SABBATH OCTOBER 8, 2011t
SUBJECT: VIEWS ON AGING!= TEARS AND JOY!

Dear Dr. Graham,

Today i heard your son,Franklin , Dr. Graham.
I read a portion of your aging comments, for this current article.

I did not think of age until 60, when i started coughing in the
middle of a song for professional sacred events JOHN CARTER REPORT
had ended and i was still at PAUL MICKELSON'S STATION he set for me as soprano.

We have heard you many times on the air, in the interim(as a Seventh-day Adventist)
they caught me on ENDR times via My street ministry.
I would have loved to come to your programs and reflect back,
as i think we should sometimes share.

Growing older is just what it is, and learning to not get caught in the clenches where
people are parenting adults instead of walking along with them,
THAT I would try to avoid while i continue to share my faith.

OTHER claudia humphreys? suprise ,AFTER i worked with Paul Mickelson.(WORLD'S FINEST ORGANIST,
I continue to look forward to your calls to the altar to Jesus and hear "Just as i am without one plea", so many beautiful songs sung by your choir. At last i sang 2004 with them, Pasadena,Ca.

God Bless you so much for your wonderful work, in his name.
Sincerely in Christ,

Claudia Humphrey, Missionary(ORDAINED BY PAUL)
YOUTUBE worldclassauditions
Twitter.com CLAUDIASONGS.
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Ichor
08:27 AM on 10/10/2011
Basic literacy training would certainly help get your message - whatever it is - out there.
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turboturd
I need help! And a pony!
03:28 PM on 10/08/2011
Aspergers
09:11 PM on 10/08/2011
Sounds more like the nonsensical ramblings of advanced dementia.
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rutroGeorge
Silence is Golden, unless I have something to bark
10:42 PM on 10/10/2011
Compassion much?
01:51 AM on 10/08/2011
I admired his organization because their finances were completely open to the public. Mr. Graham was paid a modest salary and lived in a very average house.

That alone is pretty much unique in the televangelist biz, where palatial mansions are the norm.