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Breast Implant Saves Woman From Attempted Stabbing

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 10/04/2011 8:49 am Updated: 12/04/2011 4:12 am

Breast implants save lives.

No, it's not a puerile frat house chant. It's a true news story, ripped straight from the headlines as of yesterday. Russian newspaper Pravda reported that a Moscow woman was attacked with a knife by her own husband, but was saved when he stabbed her in the breast implant.

The knife stuck in the silicone implant, saving the woman.

Calling the silicone implants "body armor," Pravda writes that ironically, "the woman's husband asked his wife to enlarge her breasts five years ago."

Years later, when he aimed a knife at his wife's heart in a fit of anger, it was the breast enlargement that blunted the force. Moreover, "The content of the implant did not leak, and the breast preserved its original shape."

It didn't even leak?? Those must be some hardcore implants. It wouldn't be the first time a breast enhancement saved a woman's life: February of last year, a woman was caught in gunfire in the office of a Beverly Hills dentist. The woman, boasting size-D breast implants, was shot in the chest... but, according to the Los Angeles Times, the bullet simply deflated the silicon implant and left a scar.

Moral of the story: if you're nervous about getting shot or stabbed in the chest anytime soon... get a boob job?

Eh, maybe not. But good to know that it could help.

Read more at Pravda.ru.

(Via Gawker)



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02:16 AM on 10/07/2011
The new range of resulting combat armour is going to raise eyebrows.

I've always thought those Navy SEALS could do with a bit more jiggle.
09:10 AM on 10/06/2011
Glad to see true love is still alive and well!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mulepick
01:47 PM on 10/05/2011
They should start making implants with Kevlar. Everyone wins!
08:55 AM on 10/05/2011
Best. Story. Ever.
08:35 AM on 10/05/2011
When TSA said they were concerned that terrorist may surgically implant bombs inside a terrorist’s body I immediately applied for a job as boob tested. My resume stated I was willing to work for minimum wage and I required no other benefits. I said the benefit of protecting my country, and job satisfaction, was the only benefit I needed. TSA responded and thanked me for my interest in the job, but said there was a 25 year waiting list for these jobs and all other applicants were willing to work for free.
07:40 AM on 10/05/2011
the funniest thing I've ever read
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Carla Rae H
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
04:48 AM on 10/05/2011
just... wow lol
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SayBlade
This micro bio intentionally left blank.
12:54 AM on 10/05/2011
Stupid man. Tells wife to enlarge her breasts and then goes and shoots her. Stupid woman for saying yes and sticking around.
08:39 AM on 10/05/2011
er, he stabbed her.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kwaut lizard
Reductio ad Absurdum
11:43 AM on 10/05/2011
For some people that's just a pesky detail.
09:11 PM on 10/04/2011
A very tit alating store, but Pravda is the Russian version of a trashy tabloid. I,m surprised it didn,t say she was stabbed by an alien.
10:30 AM on 10/05/2011
LOL!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
abuckley23
Published author. Visit me at Planet Kibi!
06:36 PM on 10/04/2011
The police should start recruiting females with fake ta-tas, they'd save money on bullet proof vests...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
All Seeing Guy
Center of the storm
05:40 PM on 10/04/2011
Moral of the story: if you're nervous about getting shot or stabbed in the chest anytime soon... get a boob job?

It's not cosmetic, it's a safety feature.
08:46 AM on 10/05/2011
Would insurence cover that ??? :)
09:59 AM on 10/05/2011
*insurance* might :)
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
vlynnieg
lighten up a little...but be kind
02:02 PM on 10/05/2011
maybe homeowner's insurance
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missyinSoCal
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke
02:24 PM on 10/05/2011
So we'll be seeing lots of guys with boobs soon... Gang members, politicians, etc ;)
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03:59 PM on 10/04/2011
"a woman was caught in gunfire in the office of a Beverly Hills dentist"

hardcore implants?

That's a hardcore dentist!
03:58 PM on 10/04/2011
Pravda is the equivalent of a tabloid. I wouldn't take this seriously. A punctured implant is bad news, internally.
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Carmen DA
08:46 PM on 10/04/2011
I'm pretty sure they aren't going just sew her up with the same implant...come on...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tleon12265
A proud American Patriot -- and a Democrat!
08:54 AM on 10/05/2011
One can of "Fix-A-Flat" and three stitches and she's good to go. :)
10:50 AM on 10/08/2011
I never said that they sewed it up in her, thanks. I said a punctured implant is bad news and can lead to toxic leakage, even at the moment of puncture. They act like it's the best thing in the world, but it has serious implications.
85Percent
Southern Liberal & Michigander
03:55 PM on 10/04/2011
Years ago I read that implants could also expand in the case of being on an airplane when it lost cabin pressure. Perhaps they have improved implants since then.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Protocolor
空耳モード
07:16 PM on 10/04/2011
Hmm, perhaps the silicone gel could be engineered to foam and expand under such circumstances, providing flotation in the event that the plane comes down in a body of water?
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vlynnieg
lighten up a little...but be kind
02:04 PM on 10/05/2011
That's great...then they could be used as flotation devices if they crash into water.
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kevinbr38
Give Me A Pig Foot....
03:49 PM on 10/04/2011
So the implants kind of work like airbags in reverse.
Cool.