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ONN Investigates Americans With Hateful Faces (VIDEO)

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The season two premiere of The Onion News Network was all about the end of the world, but that didn't stop the broadcast from taking time to look at the inspiring stories of Americans who have horrible faces. Yes, it's true. They are out there, and they are not trying to piss you off; that's just how their faces look.

If you, too, were born with an obnoxious, dream-killing expression on your face, there is help -- and -- hope awaiting you.

Or not, since the world has already ended. Either way, check out this hilarious clip from Tuesday night's season opener.