Tilda Swinton: I Tried To Kill My Youngest Brother As A Child

10/12/2011 11:05 am ET | Updated Oct 13, 2011

Tilda Swinton stars in "We Need To Talk About Kevin," as a mother dealing with her grief after her teenage son opens fire on his high school, killing his classmates. In discussing the idea of "evil" the actress took the opportunity to share a dark secret of her own.

The 50-year-old actress admits that she recalled lost memories following intense media coverage of the brutal murder of two-year-old James Bulgar by 10-year-olds Jon Venables and Robert Thompson in 1993.

According to Us Weekly, the actress told The Telegraph, "Years ago when James Bulgar was murdered, every newspaper front page was talking about evil. At that point, having suppressed it for years, I remembered when I was four or five, I tried to kill my own brother. He was newly born and I was disappointed, because he was the third baby. That was enough as far as I was concerned."

Swinton told The Guardian, "I was going to kill him because he was a boy, naturally. And I already had two brothers, and that was too much to bear." She told the paper, "I hadn't thought it through, I was willing to wing it. And I noticed he had a ribbon from a baby bonnet sticking out from the corner of his mouth. I started to pull it out –- and then was witnessed in this great act of love, of nurture!"

The actress explains that her family found her in the midst of saving his life so she developed the reputation of her brother's savoir and no one knew she had wanted to kill him.

In "We Need To Talk About Kevin" the film explores the idea of children being born evil, something Swinton said every mother fears.

"Everyone thinks for one moment when they're pregnant that they're actually carrying the spawn of the devil," she told The Guardian. As the mother of 13-year-old twins Xavier and Honor, she confessed she worried about it as well, explaining, " Oh yeah, of course, because you're in a freefall, so you have to wonder. it would be crazy not to."