I’ve attended two weddings in the past month and have a third coming up next weekend. By my count, the total number of best-man/maid-of-honor speeches I’ve enjoyed/endured is roughly 40. This doesn’t make me an expert, but I’ve done enough champagne toasting to know a good tribute (short, some humor, a little sentimental, nothing too dirty) from those that make you clutch your date in horror or pray for a power outage. So in the tradition of the Phillies fans, Jersey Shore beachgoers, and gym members we’ve called out, here are a few of the worst wedding-speech offenders. If any of these sound like what you’re preparing for a friend or family member’s special day, I recommend a revision. If you’ve already unleashed one, maybe an apology will suffice. But probably not.