10/14/2011 02:24 pm ET | Updated Dec 14, 2011

Rob Delaney On Why Mitt Romney Will Be The GOP Nominee

Mitt Romney is going to be the GOP nominee for president. That's just how it is. You don't have to like it, but much like the sun will come up tomorrow and shine down on your morning boner (or the feminine equivalent--areola spasms? I've never met a human woman) Mitt Romney will go up against Barack H. Obama in a profoundly boring battle of the milquetoast Nancy-boys.