Last night's "X Factor" whizzed us off to the judges houses where we learned that Mariah Carey pulled a rain check on Simon Cowell and that all four judges possess the same taste in sprawling, sun-soaked real estate. We also learned that Simon had been assigned the Girls, Paula was given Groups, Nicole was mentoring the Over-30 group and L.A. was looking after the Boys.
Besides an overly sexual performance from Drew Ryniewicz for Simon at his home in France, we were also treated to the truly bizarre strutting and shouting of constantly-sobbing Dexter Haygood, whose performance of Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love" for Nicole and guest judge Enrique Iglesias is clipped below. Note the way the former Skid Rower so flippantly and confidently spits out "TRACK!" at 1:15, and the way Nicole purses her lips when she wants to dance along, or how Enrique looks as if he's time-traveled back to being a teenage boy again? What could possibly beat this? Or who, rather?
Dexer Haygood - Judge's Houses With Nicole Scherzinger, Enrique Iglesias
TRACK! Leave it to 14-year-old Brian Bradley to blow us all away -- and more specifically, mentor L.A. Reid and guest judge Rihanna. The dude who pranked Simon during his audition and rapped "stop looking at my mom" is full of awesome one-liners, like the following gems from his first audition:
Host Steve Jones: Ready to go up there and blow them away?
Bradley: [Head swag] Tornado.
Simon: Why do you think you haven't had a record deal yet?
Bradley: It's politics, man. You gotta know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody!
With such bravado and charisma, it was difficult to remember that the Brooklyn native is a mere tween until he told host Jones just how he would celebrate his send-through: "Imma go home, jump on and down on my bed, lay down, sleep, and wake up and jump on down again."
Which just made the rapper even more adorable. Anyway, yesterday's episode proved to be no exception. "We will be doing a collab one day, remember that," Bradley instructed Rihanna, then delivered a seriously skilled version of "The Message," with beat-boxing and flawless three-four rhymes that had RiRi comparing him to a "little J. Cole." L.A. then wisely questioned whether America would be ready for an emcee or DJ in an environment that usually produces singers and people like Scotty McCreery.
Who knows, other than you, America?
Brian Bradley - Judges' Houses With L.A. Reid and Rihanna