Oprah Winfrey's Relationship Advice For Conflict Resolution (Video)

"You said that people will be able to take what you tell them, but what if you know that they will fall apart if you do?" This was the question a member of the audience posed to Oprah and her longtime friend, relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant, last Friday evening after the live weekly edition of Oprah's Lifeclass on OWN TV.

Long after Friday's show ended, the conversation kept going and the cameras kept rolling, capturing the exclusive footage above. Oprah and Iyanla shared their insight into how to have the difficult conversations we all need to have in life, with confidence and without regret.

Later, Oprah and Iyanla tackled the equally difficult question of how to honor your own emotions when you feel pressure to be the morale booster.

For more life solutions and inspiration from Oprah, tune in to Oprah's Lifeclass weeknights at 8/7c. This week's topics include:

• Today: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them
• Thursday 10/27: What Animals Can Teach Us
• Friday 10/28: Joy Rising: Australia

and catch the Friday live edition at 9/8c on OWN, Oprah.com or Facebook.

While you're watching any Lifeclass, don't forget to check in at the Oprah's Lifeclass website to join the conversation.

You can also access Oprah's Lifeclass through the show's iPad app, and you can sign up for OWN newsletters here.

More from Oprah.com:

• How are your beliefs shaping your life?
• What Oprah knows for sure about taking responsibility for your life
• Tune in to the live webcast with Oprah on Friday night!

Comments

[rewith85man]

10:20 PM on 10/30/2011

I think that OWN will be on top. I do watch Our America with Lisa Ling. The host covers interesting topics.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:00 PM on 11/03/2011

rewith85man, you've got yourself another fan. I agree. What Oprah is doing is reweaving topics in a format for today. Anything that helps us recall that we have choice, that we can create a better life, that there are issues before us that have substance (vs the same old same old of politics) is welcome. The only question is whether people will come out of their worries long enough to tune in and participate in something more uplifting than what is on most channels. Thank you for your contribution. Keep it up!

Cara

[JFaye]

08:34 PM on 10/30/2011

Judging from the number of negative and condemning comments about Ms. Winfrey, she is obviously doing something right.

Listened to the commencement address given by the late Steve Jobs ... and it was a revelation of what is to come when we live our real self ... as Mr. Jobs managed to in amid much criticism and condemnation.

For those who choose to waste their lives picking apart Ms. Winfrey and other successful people, particularly those who desire to play their good fortune forward, please google the Stanford Commencement address by Mr. Jobs.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:02 PM on 11/03/2011

Great addition, JFaye, as one of your fans. I could not agree more. It is easy to be critical of others, without getting some 'skin' in the game. When I hear folks bad-mouthing anyone, I take it as a dodge from being a full participant in the Game of Life. Steve Jobs said a mouthful in the Stanford address. Many thanks of your inclusion! Cara

[ShouldIMoveOn]

06:09 PM on 10/29/2011

Her advice has become helpful to those all around the world and for that she has inspired me to do the same for others as well. Wether it be getting relationship advice or giving help to those with relationship conflicts I have produced my own site to help those people. check it out for yourself! http://www.shouldimoveon.com

Thank You For Your Support!

[ChicagoDMT]

07:05 PM on 10/29/2011

Great. You just can't have too many people telling you how to live your life.

[ShouldIMoveOn]

09:43 PM on 10/29/2011

There not exactly telling you how to live your life on the site, their there to guide you in the right direction, be there when you need to vent, and help you.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:05 PM on 11/03/2011

Good for you, ShouldMoveOn!!!!!!!! It is one thing to shine, and another to move on. Disregard the naysayers to your project. Hold fast to what is in your heart. It is all in the Listening. I wish you all good things in your new venture. That you are a giver is clear! Cara

[ShouldIMoveOn]

06:23 PM on 11/03/2011

Thanks so much thats so generous of you, I appreciate the support!

[lecraftygirl]

08:28 AM on 10/29/2011

i find value in her advice and forever grateful.

[dyp1018]

10:29 AM on 10/28/2011

you can't knock Oprah's hustle. She's tapped into a market and obviously learned how to make it work for her. She a motivational speaker, friend in the head of most people. Like most commentors said, if you don't like her don't watch! It's as simple as that!

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:06 PM on 11/03/2011

I love your style, dyp1018. You've dropped some pearls here, for anyone who is paying attention. Keep it up. We need much more clarity and courage to speak our own truth. Bravo.

Cara

[1freedom]

09:31 AM on 10/28/2011

And I'll keep going. Ok, so she's rich. But she was born extremely poor and she went to school, did well, went to college and the rest is history. Why is there so much anger? It's one thing not to be a fan, but why are people so angry at her for? What if she is a know-it-all? You guys don't have to be exposed to it but as I said before, you're LITERALLY clicking on a picture and headline of a woman you despise. That is called insanity. It's as simple as changing the channel or not clicking on Oprah articles!!! Then they criticize people who admire her for rising above horrible beginnings and being extremely successful. This is disgusting. You obviouly can't gt enough of her if you read everything about her, watch her shows, watched this clip, and then wrote these long, snide comments. Sad, sad people here on HP comments. Though I'm a bleeding heart myself, since HP, I've found it true that so called "liberals" are really angry, mean, people who are in many ways, not as aggressive, but just as dogmatic as conservatives.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:09 PM on 11/03/2011

Yes, 1freedom, it is distressing to find this common theme 'on both sides of the political aisles: that tendency in human nature to knock down anyone who has been courageous enough to take a stand for something better in life. I applaud your clarity, your Wisdom, and your heart. That you are using your Voice to voice what is in your heart, I applaud. People like you make a bigger difference than you might imagine. How proud I am to be a fan! Keep it up! Cara

[Mary Nissenson]

01:28 AM on 10/28/2011

That Oprah's success is remarkable goes without question. What sometimes makes me a little nuts, however, is her presumption that she has discovered all the "ultimate truths" in life and that all we need to do, to find out own happiness, is follow her instructions to a "t".

We're not all Oprahs & we don't live our life in 1:30 segments and pithy soundbites. If it were all that simple, I'd look under the couch I'm sitting on and find the keys to the new car I so desperately need.

Gotta go. Need to find a flashlight.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:13 PM on 11/03/2011

Mary, you never cease to amaze me with your common sense, an attribute too often overlooked in importance these days! Yes, let us all get on with the big chore of finding our flashlight, metaphorically, for there is Darkness afoot, indeed. As I see it, we each have a Voice, and must become better and better stewards of our own Wisdom, and keep our feet on the ground. Sounds like you have logged in some miles, my friend, and learned discernment.!

As a fan, I look forward to more from you, and learn from who you are. Blessings,
Cara

[Mary Nissenson]

07:30 PM on 11/03/2011

Cara, I'm overwhelmed by your kind words. You're right about "logging a lot of miles." i've gone far enough and turned enough corners in my life, that I find myself right back home again, but, unlike in my youth, at peace with myself. Thank you for being so warm and supportive. Blessings to you, too, Cara.

[lmajorp]

08:58 PM on 10/27/2011

I agree with part of a post about ayanla's comments of giving ones advise could be very dangerous in many cases.You just never know how people will react especially these days these are dangerous times where living in.And as for oprah i don't know anything about the woman only what she wants people to know.But i do know shes not living a very morale life style living in sin with steadman i wonder if that is a part of the criteria in the school in africa she built?

[PAMELAS]

05:40 AM on 10/28/2011

One day in the not too distant future, more current instead......America won't have be reminded that Winfrey is still around. Like all over exposed, supposed entertainers, she will just go away. Exp., The Huffington Post should find something much more interesting to provide for the AOL viewer's reading. Thank you, Pamela S

[lmajorp]

12:57 AM on 10/29/2011

Hello.pamela s. Thank u for getting back to me i just finished looking at the tape again and ayanla kept saying that somethings should be said and if it doesn;t call 911.Well i say giving advise like that is very dangerous especially when dealing with a male.Woman has to be smart and realize their the weaker vessel and no match for man there times when things should not be said.I stress! because u think u know a person but u really donot people are changing every day they are mortal.The only one who does not change is ur creator (GOD HIMSELF) don't let anyone tell u different.Oprah talked about being authentic i really don;t think she no the meaning of that word when ever u buy the effection of ur public,fans be always giving outlandish gifts thats why her show stayed packed because the people knew they going to get something for free!

[weaverking]

08:03 PM on 10/27/2011

it was sad to watch this dumb clip poor op she is done

[rdr81240]

06:25 PM on 10/27/2011

she is so much like Obama and thats why
she will never make it on TV

[NevaforLeadership]

06:49 PM on 10/27/2011

Oprah has made it from the most humble and adverse beginnings to a billionaire and serious philanthropist. She has created a media empire, employing thousands directly and probably millions indirectly. Over the years she has been an inspiration to millions around the world. She is not afraid to take massive risks to try something new.

Obama has also made it from humble and adverse beginnings to an extremely talented author in his own right and the president of the United States, taking office when the US was in one of the worst crises in its history, preventing a banking collapse,steering the country out of recession long before anyone expected, saving millions of jobs in the financial, auto and peripheral sectors, creating well over 3 million jobs under his recovery and green plans, initiating healthcare reform and the most sweeping financial reform since the depression of the '30's, tackling the vicious obfuscation and puerile partisan politics of the GOP to create more jobs, ending the Iraq war and initiating the end of the Afghanistan war, mandating health insurers to pay for birth control (very important) -- just the tip of the iceberg.

All that for both of them is called success -- major and important success. How much better we would all be if we could just muster up a hair's width of their success.

[sylva portoian]

10:49 PM on 10/27/2011

I agree with...
Some people can't see others
When they reach their best...and
Helping others to progress with thems( lyrical word to match with rhyme)
Sylva-MD-Poetry

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:19 PM on 11/03/2011

And here, NevaforLeadership, is why I am a fan of yours! Your Voice is clear as a bell. You have a way of bringing out the best, which is an art and a skill set so much needed in our world. I am not talking 'politics' here, but, rather an admiration for you to dig deeper than what is on the surface, and shine a light on the underlying issues that exist beyond like or dislike. Each of these individuals offer us a rich opportunity for a self-scrutiny and self-challenge to how we might expand our own contribution, rather than hang out in that ever-so-comfortable place of criticism. Bravo. Keep it up!

Cara

[Lordcron]

04:17 AM on 10/28/2011

Oprah has already made it! She needs not prove anything to anyone at this point. Oprah has accomplished more in her life then 90% of us will if we has 9 lives.

[Bobby Dias]

07:19 PM on 10/27/2011

Oprah's tv station is reruns of old shows- now we get reruns of old Huffington Post articles about Oprah! Always out-of-date now.

[NevaforLeadership]

06:55 PM on 10/27/2011

Being true to one's core is probably the most important ingredient of success.

Telling others what we think they should hear or how we think they should behave has nothing to do with being true to one's core.

[goldsilver50]

06:36 PM on 10/27/2011

First of all Oprah and her friends have a different type of relationship than most Americans. Who can fly their friends to remote resort vacation destinations. And, spend lavishly on them at a whim.

I'm not jealous mind you just I realize their advice is above most of our heads.

[NevaforLeadership]

06:54 PM on 10/27/2011

Listen to what she has to say. Having come from more impoverished circumstances than most of us will ever experience, she is a perfect example of how much we can accomplish if we put our minds to it,

[lmajorp]

09:21 PM on 10/27/2011

It's called marketing ones self she's an educated woman who was every observant she once said she watched and listened to barbara walter's all the time she admitted fashioning herself after her.I lord knows i really do not for the life of how people can take these people words as gospel their there for one reason ratings money and a name for themselves.

[Roy m]

06:25 PM on 10/27/2011

Oprah is a strong willed woman giving advice to normal women is not necessarily good for them. Each person has a level of confidence that they need to work with in and grow from there to a new level if they want to. The woman who had something to say to someone but felt they couldn't handle it may have been correct, Oprah doesn't know that person. If someone is dealing with someone that has mental problems they should take it slow or they could cause a break down. Despite the women lib movement a good deal of women still want the man in control and that would be only natural,that's natures way for the most part. Everybody needs to do what's good to make themselves happy if that means hurting someone then please do so in a responsible manner. Taking the wrong advice for your situation could be a mistake on your part just make sure to take the correct advice when it comes along.

[NevaforLeadership]

05:58 PM on 10/27/2011

I expect that woman was inserting her advice, opinions where they did not belong.

Sounds as if it is she who can't handle others telling her what to do -- and that is just fine.

[Roy m]

09:20 PM on 10/27/2011

No that woman has a personal problem with someone and she wants to handle it but the person who she wants to talk to seems to be too unbalance to hear what she needs from that person.

[badunion]

06:17 PM on 10/27/2011

Oprah's advice in '08 was to vote Obama, I think I'll pass on anymore "know it all" advice again from her.

[NevaforLeadership]

06:04 PM on 10/27/2011

Obama is the most talented, honest and straight-forward president of our lifetime.

Those who continue to insist on blaming him for the recession (started before he came to office and over in June 2009), banking crisis -- and, oh yes, let's not forget Europe's problems that people insist on throwing into the the mix -- all of which he played no part, are playing a fool's game.

[leskataus]

07:13 PM on 10/28/2011

She has the right to publicly endorse any presidential candidate she chooses. That doesn't mean she is telling you to vote for him. I can't believe there are people who would actually vote for someone simply because a famous person tells them to.

[Dr. Cara Barker]

02:21 PM on 11/03/2011

I agree, leskataus, which should be no surprise as I am one of your fans. Thank you for saying what you have said. It is a sad thing that people would not take responsibility for their own choices. Way to go! Cara