11/03/2011 12:47 pm ET | Updated Jan 03, 2012

Library Of A Madman: Holy Sex!

Sometimes insanity strikes from unlikely locations. For instance, this is a book about Catholics having sex, and what's more normal than that? They reproduce like gremlins in a pool -- and between nuns, school uniforms and Carmen Miranda, Catholics dominate the sexy costume industry.

However, this book is about as sexy as the instructions on a horse suppository. It's not for nice married Catholics hoping to put the spark back in their marriage. It doesn't contain ancient Jesuit maps to the clitoris. Holy Sex! is more like an official list of everything that debilitatingly religious people can and can't do to a hole. And even with that description, I'm worried I've made it sound too hot.