Michael Pollan appeared on The Colbert Report last night to talk about his book Food Rules, with illustrations by Maira Kalman. He brought along some home-brewed beer for Stephen Colbert to sample, a trade up from the Sierra Mist Colbert was drinking the last time Pollan was on the show. Colbert brought out some Bugles to eat with the beer. "That's delicious," he said. "It's very nice. Will it get me shitfaced?"
Colbert then goes on to describe Pollan as "the big bossy food Nazi" and asks why he needs a book of food rules when he already knows how to eat. Plus, Pollan is too skinny to be an authority on food, claimed Colbert. "If you had to be brought out here with a forklift, then I'd listen," Colbert rationalized.
Pollan goes on to explain how he believes that scientists and health claims have misled us, and that he encourages taxing certain unhealthy food and drinks, such as soda. "But that's the milk of America," Colbert counters, "How can you tax soda? We beat Hitler with Coca-Cola." He also tells Pollan to get a new hobbyhorse -- he's tired of the criticism of high fructose corn syrup.
One of Pollan's rules dictates that a desk is not a table, a premise that Colbert disagrees with. He encourages the American on-the-go mentality. "That's why we have cupholders, which you can also fill with gravy."
At the end, Colbert thanks Pollan. "It's always a pleasure to be lectured to about foods I put in my mouth."
Watch the whole back-and-forth below: