Holiday Divorce Advice: 10 Tips For Weathering The Holidays Post-Split

The holidays conjure warm, fuzzy images of roasted Thanksgiving turkeys, adults toasting eggnog and children unwrapping presents. But what happens when divorce turns these traditions upside down?

We asked 10 experts for their advice on how to handle the holidays post-split. Click through what they had to say about everything from adapting and creating new traditions to preparing yourself emotionally, and add your own tips in the comments.

Comments

[divorcedance]

10:25 AM on 11/13/2011

Don't romanticize the "family" holidays. Chances are...they weren't all that great.
Here in the States, we are over the top on holidays..especially Christmas. It's not about you...the adult, it's about the children. If they have a wonderful holiday with your ex....be happy for them. And give yourself credit for being a parent who focuses on them. then treat yourself to something special!

[Deborah Moskovitch]

03:58 PM on 11/09/2011

Great advice. Readers might also find these posts published on the HuffPo helpful as well:
Making it Through the Holidays-- Alone and Content:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/making-it-through-the-hol_b_975160.html
Home Alone? Coping with the Post-Divorce Blues:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/home-alone-coping-with-th_b_970022.html

Deborah Moskovitch
Divorce Consultant and Educator
Author of The Smart Divorce

[TFDNYC]

03:20 PM on 11/09/2011

How to avoid holiday hell? Ignore that it's a holiday. Go on a vacation. Stay in bed and watch movies... Anything but celebrate. I've been doing this since I moved away from home. I only went home once for a holiday and it was so irritating and felt like such a forced disruption to my schedule that I told my entire family that I would no loger be celebrating and that I'd come home for long weekends, any other family events, etc. instead so long as it's not a holiday. I claimed religious conviction (in that I reject religions generally). 15 years later they don't bother me at holidays and I don't bother them. The rest of the year we get along great. Works for me :) Luckily I found a spouse who feels the same way. We're gong to Thailand this year for Xmas through the middle of January. It is such a HUGE relief to never bother with holidays unless we feel like it (T-Giving and July 4th being exceptions because they're secular and we enjoy the mood.)

[madcityy]

02:18 PM on 11/09/2011

there is no help on this issue.....good luck usaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[zapdog]

01:20 PM on 11/09/2011

You forgot - "Avoid all holidays avoid all costs". Dont play the came to corporations want you to play. Find something better to do - like watching paint dry..or anything else that has zero to do with the fake holiday season.

[provgrays1]

12:45 PM on 11/09/2011

Nothing is worse than obligatory gift giving. They should be offered because you want to, not because you have to.

[rickpark1]

04:42 AM on 11/09/2011

Traditions are a great Idea being that money for some is a issue, they will remember the time you spent rather than the latest in toys & gagets of the day, singing or telling christmas storys together go far, do you remember ? Their greatest gift is you.

[Fran Jaime]

09:47 PM on 11/09/2011

I agree! My daughters and I went through quite a few Christmases with almost no money. So we decided to make gifts. We bake cookies, make jams, and other things. We love this and it is our special tradition.
We tried tip #2 but the whole situation was so stiff and uncomfortable that we gave up on it. Now, in November, they decide where they will spend christmas and New Year's. That works really well for all of us.