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Arnold Schwarzenegger's 'Total Recall' DVD Commentary Track Surprisingly Literal (VIDEO)


First Posted: 11/23/11 11:01 AM ET Updated: 11/28/11 12:22 PM ET

After over three decades in the public spotlight, Arnold Schwarzenegger has made something very clear: He doesn't understand how a lot of stuff works, but that won't stop him from doing them anyway and exceeding everyone's expectations. The latest example is the delightfully literal commentary track he recorded for 1990's action classic "Total Recall."

Although it was recorded 10 years ago, Arnold's commentary track has captured the hearts and souls of the Internet, and for good reason. The muscleman-turned-governor proved how puzzlingly magnetic he truly can be, even by simply explaining the literal events happening on the screen. Instead of offering any insight into his craft or letting audiences in on behind-the-scenes tidbits, he narrates every ounce of text and subtext happening.

Some samples:

"This scene is unbelievable because my frustration is that this taxi cab does not understand where I want to go."

"Here's the great moment of the sweat running down. Which gives it away that he is afraid."

"This is a great scene. Where he uses the hologram."

So let's run down the list of things Arnold Schwarzenegger does not understand but proceeds with anyway, and does and incredible job at -- for better or for worse.

1. You are not supposed to become an American actor if you cannot speak English. Check.
2. You are not supposed to marry a Kennedy if you are a Republican muscleman. Check.
3. You are not supposed to run for governor of one of the world's largest economies on a whim. Check.
4. You are not supposed to cheat on your wife with your housekeeper. Check.
5. You are not supposed to father a child and hide a secret family for ten years. Check.
6. You are not supposed to record DVD commentary tracks if you do not understand DVD commentary tracks. Check.

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After over three decades in the public spotlight, Arnold Schwarzenegger has made something very clear: He doesn't understand how a lot of stuff works, but that won't stop him from doing them anyway an...
After over three decades in the public spotlight, Arnold Schwarzenegger has made something very clear: He doesn't understand how a lot of stuff works, but that won't stop him from doing them anyway an...
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ludichris212
Happy Halloween, ladies!
08:52 AM on 11/29/2011
Jeez, I laughed all the way through that! For once something HuffPo brought to my attention was actually hilarious!!
10:28 PM on 11/28/2011
you'll like being houser
ATXNight
Daydreamer Extraordinaire
10:08 AM on 11/28/2011
I've never been to Mars!
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mpk1028
Annoy a conservative...support American workers
07:02 PM on 11/26/2011
Kohagen, you got what you want! Give these people air!
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ChicoHash
Legalize It!
10:18 PM on 11/26/2011
"I got five kids to feed."
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04:53 AM on 11/27/2011
ok, so I lied, I don't have any kids
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mpk1028
Annoy a conservative...support American workers
06:57 PM on 11/26/2011
This is a great video scene.Obviously, it is Arnold explaining scenes from the film that do not need to be explained. And this is a great comment board. Obviously, it is a place where different people comment on the scenes that Arnold comments on and explains the obvious which needs no explanation, obviously.
06:08 PM on 11/26/2011
Well I liked that movie when I was a kid, and I still do...
Especially the alien woman with the three tee-tee-z...
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JJR60616
08:49 AM on 11/29/2011
I thought then and I think now, just how...convenient...I guess is the word... that would be to be with a woman with 3 tata's...

Yep...convenient sounds right.
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vandegrasse
Don't Panic
04:17 PM on 11/26/2011
He's such an_idiot. Is this a qualification for being governor of California!
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majesticjkr
Always look on the bright side of life
02:07 PM on 11/26/2011
I'm back
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majesticjkr
Always look on the bright side of life
02:07 PM on 11/26/2011
I will be back
12:59 PM on 11/26/2011
Great Movie
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12:55 PM on 11/25/2011
7. You are not supposed to write an article for a hugel rolling-in-money site like the Huffington Post if you cannot master English grammar, and if you cannot find an editor in the house. (Good lord.)
05:22 PM on 11/25/2011
"hugel"? Your editor have the day off?
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marred
05:20 PM on 11/24/2011
The movie should have been released in theaters with this commentary and not the original dialogue.
06:28 AM on 11/24/2011
"5. You are not supposed to bear a hide a secret family for ten years. Check."

You are not supposed to become an American journalist if you cannot write English. Check.
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babyjesussaysso
On the internets nobody knows you're a dog.
01:01 PM on 11/25/2011
Thank-you, I reread that a couple of times thinking I hadn't had enuf coffee...
05:34 AM on 11/24/2011
This whole article about Arnold is great, but the chart at the beginning pretty much sums it up.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-136-arnold-schwarzenegger/
02:33 AM on 11/24/2011
..."there is now aahxygen on maahs..." What exactly was going on between Arnolds ears when he made this.
06:29 AM on 11/24/2011
Having fun? That would explain why all his movies are so much fun, no matter how brainless the story seems to be.
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JJR60616
08:52 AM on 11/29/2011
I'm sure the millions of dollars he was paid to do this never factored into his artisitic decisions...

Please....

In other news, there is a video of someone licking urinal walls for $60.00

Makes Arnold look like Einstein comparatively speaking...