Strippers Posing As Paralegals In Miami Federal Jail: Report

Apparently, not even the massive King of Diamonds can contain all the strippers in Miami. Attorneys doing business at Downtown's Federal Detention Center -- a maximum security prison -- say the joint is overrun with dancers posing as paralegals.

Lawyers hired by imprisoned drug kingpins pass the women off as legal assistants and authorities let them in, according to a report by Miami New Times. This being Miami, it was apparently no big deal until other attorneys realized they might start losing clients to those whose billable hours come with a little bada bing.

"They take off their tops and let the guys touch them," veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez told New Times. "The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused."

The report alleges one 'paralegal' was caught having sex with an inmate in a room used for legal meetings, while another was busted stripping in a Special Housing Unit -- also known as solitary confinement -- and banned from the prison altogether.

While many attorneys are up in arms -- or being forced to take off their bras -- others are used to Miami being, well, Miami.

"If you want some good people-watching, try the FDC," attorney Marc Seitles told New Times. "It certainly beats paying a cover and waiting on lines to get into LIV."

This isn't the first instance of one or more lovely Miami ladies with cartel clients in super max prisons. In 2009, the Denver Post profiled a woman named Lulu who left the Magic City to be closer to clients who paid her $125 an hour to deliver legal docs and keep a little company. And just north of Miami in Broward County, there's less security but a lot more 'access' -- female corrections employees are the ones getting friendly, with one caught having sex with an inmate in a broom closet.

Comments

[Huffy Puff]

12:14 AM on 12/02/2011

Whoever came up with that idea deserves an award. In a field saturated with lawyers, this is how you innovate and get ahead of the competition.

[Eric Shin]

04:16 PM on 12/01/2011

Don't give Cain ideas

[CrawfishFestival]

01:59 PM on 12/01/2011

Lawyers hired by imprisoned drug kingpins pass the women off as legal assistants and authorities let them in, according to a report by Miami New Times. This being Miami, it was apparently no big deal until other attorneys realized they might start losing clients to those whose billable hours come with a little bada bing.

"They take off their tops and let the guys touch them," veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez told New Times. "The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused."

The report alleges one 'paralegal' was caught having sex with an inmate in a room used for legal meetings, while another was busted stripping in a Special Housing Unit -- also known as solitary confinement -- and banned from the prison altogether.

*********
Funny - but sad -
since it is a reflection of what runs our PRISON systems.

These non-citizens - as prostitutes - should be held accountable for falsifying records to enter a federal prison system = federal building -
and deported.

The attorneys involved in "PIMPING" - should lose their licenses to practice law = permanently.

[FVMTX75]

10:45 AM on 12/01/2011

Money talks.....

[RobertHenryEller]

07:58 AM on 12/01/2011

well, many people are stimulated by bondage and restraint

[wakohnen]

05:49 AM on 12/01/2011

Apparently MY lawyer hasn't gotten the memo......

[simzillyjp]

03:30 AM on 12/01/2011

Everyone needs a little love.

[babby201]

03:05 AM on 12/01/2011

you know ,i pictured the lady with the funny little typewriter on old perry mason tv shows ,
and thought of the judge saying, could read that back, then all hell breaking loose.
funny how headlines can sometimes be misleading.

[babby201]

03:01 AM on 12/01/2011

Oh big deal , DC former Mayor Marion Barry had ben caught in the public visiting room in prison while a visiting girl went under the table and gave him a hummer , and not the kind from GM either.
and believe it or not after he got out , he was reelected.
tells you something about the innercity population of DC.

[CrawfishFestival]

02:45 PM on 12/01/2011

@ babby201:

I posted a story for you - about DC Mayor Marion Barry, as a known crackhead (by his arrests for smoking crack) - and his connections to New Orleans Mayor Marc Morial.

[ObamaSupporterPete]

02:24 AM on 12/01/2011

I earn my living as a legal secretary. I'm gobsmacked. This bunch has some big, brass balls. I'm offended and yet I can't stop laughing at the freaking audacity of the whole thing. Talk about chutzpah!

[adamantthe1st21]

01:51 AM on 12/01/2011

The real point here is not just about paralegals but also WHO hired them and sent them to visit the FDC in Miami to have sex with drug dealers. Lets start the investigation from the bottom to the top and send them to jail with no.....strippers.Same thing for Broward County .I bet these strippers speak only Spanish too.

[wallyone]

10:51 AM on 12/01/2011

Not likely they were recruited for their conversational skills. I'm sure they spoke in a universal language.

[labuyu]

01:50 AM on 12/01/2011

Perhaps these strippers enjoy a captive audience.

[Bartmadness]

11:18 AM on 12/01/2011

Love it!!

[labuyu]

01:49 AM on 12/01/2011

And we wonder why there are so many criminals out there. Being in jail is suppose to be a deterrent to criminal behavior. Jail is most certainly is not what it used to be, at not least in Miami....and I suspect elsewhere.

[Ystorm]

12:05 AM on 12/01/2011

As a person with a paralegal degree..which i worked hard to get, i find this stuff appalling.

[lglasst1964]

01:55 AM on 12/01/2011

Me too, I have a paralegal degree and worked hard to get it and the fact that they let strippers pose as paralegals is insulting!! I worked to hard to get my degree and worked hard when I was a paralegal. Its not like its an easy job to begin with as we have to know just as much as an attorney to do the job properly.

[Steve68112]

11:58 PM on 11/30/2011

They should send some 'paralegals' in there to give those guys a 'clap' dance....then make sure the only medical care they get is from some 'paramedicals' with the same qualifications as the 'paralegals'.