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Cyberbullying: 'The Facebook Fight That Fractured My Face'

Facebook Fight

  First Posted: 12/02/11 02:16 PM ET Updated: 12/19/11 12:40 PM ET

This is a teen-written article from our friends at YCteen, a publication by young people about the issues that matter to them.

Social networking sites are supposed to be a place for friends to connect and chat, right? That’s what I thought until I was the victim of aggression that spilled over from Facebook into real life.

One day, I was harmlessly joking around with a friend on Facebook. We were commenting back and forth on his status when all of a sudden, one of his friends -- we’ll call her Sara -- rudely stuck her nose into our conversation.

For some reason I still don’t know, she immediately began insulting me. For instance, she said that I shouldn’t have been born because my father was too busy having sex with other men. She didn’t even know me or my father; how could she make that kind of accusation?

I was angered by her senseless attacks. But instead of stooping to her level, I simply called her out: “I don’t even know you. Why are you acting immature and insulting someone you don’t know?!” I might’ve used the word “insane,” but that was only to point out how irrational she was acting.

It was no use trying to reason with her, so eventually I dropped it and walked away from the computer. When I later asked our mutual Facebook friend about Sara, he said she was crazy and always looking to start a fight. In the moment, I was disgusted and taken aback at how some people thrive off senseless drama.

It was my first encounter with online aggression. I wasn’t blind to stories on the news about cyberbullying, but I’d never heard of anything like this happening to anyone I knew, and I found it confusing. Why would this complete stranger come out of nowhere and, totally unprovoked, start insulting me? It seemed she was doing it purely for her own entertainment. I guessed she enjoyed instigating conflict from the safe distance the Internet allows.

From Virtual to Surreal

I was wrong about that last part. A couple of months later, I was at a friend’s party. As I was about to leave, I saw a girl I recognized from her profile picture as Sara. She obviously recognized me too, because she lunged at me.

The situation felt surreal. What had been a virtual-world dispute was now landing at my feet, literally, in the physical world. I was shocked at what happened next.

Sara started wrestling with me, as I tried to keep her off me and prevent the situation from escalating. For two minutes we were going around the room in circles, holding each other’s hair with death grips while she tried to kick and punch me.

Someone stepped between us. She was still pulling my hair, bending me at an angle toward her. Then, I felt a blunt force against my eye, and everything went white.

She released me, and I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. When I regained my vision, I noticed blood on my hand. I lifted up my head and saw a blurry room full of people waiting to see more violence. Clearly, this was like a dramatic reality show to them. One person was even videotaping it.

Feeling immense pain, I hurried to the bathroom to look in the mirror. There was a gash on the corner of my eye next to my nose, and the whole right side of my face was already starting to swell and bruise. I could hear Sara in the other room boasting about her vicious kick to my face. When she saw me, she pointed and laughed.

Disgusted with everyone in that room, I left immediately. The next day, my mom decided it was best to go to the hospital since my face was badly bruised and swollen. It was a good thing we did, since X-rays showed I had four facial fractures and several scratches on my eye.


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This is a teen-written article from our friends at YCteen, a publication by young people about the issues that matter to them. Social networking sites are supposed to be a place for friends to con...
This is a teen-written article from our friends at YCteen, a publication by young people about the issues that matter to them. Social networking sites are supposed to be a place for friends to con...
 
 
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11:27 PM on 08/07/2012
cyber bulling is the worst thing that has struck humanity. It has ruined lives and made people VERY miserable. I wish it could all disappear so everyone could be happy. Im really sorry what happened to you. ive had it happen to me before it SUCKS.


from,
Someone Who Cares
11:23 PM on 12/12/2011
I just completed my masters which focused on cyberbullying. I'm glad you posted this article. So many people think cyberbullying is a separate entity from bullying. Unfortunately, it is intertwined. My main question is where are the parents? What were the repercussions for this girl?
01:42 PM on 12/07/2011
You ever seen the website, Topix? It is only a matter of time before someone loses their life over that site. They do absolutely nothing to curb bullying.
12:02 PM on 12/05/2011
That's just sick. I nearly got into a situation like this when I defended a friend of mine. He was one of those guys whos always looking to fight, and I'm not. Long story short, he ended up backing down when he realized I'm three times his size. I told him I wasn't going to fight him, but what I never told him was I was going to defend myself against him, if he made any physical attacks against me.

My heart goes out to you. I'm sure you are a wonderful beautiful person. We truly need to fight cyber bullying, each year, thousands of teens in the USA alone commit suicide because of cyber bullying. Parents, help your children guard themselves against it, and love your children to prevent becoming a bully.
12:11 AM on 12/05/2011
Hi everyone! First of all, thank you for all the positive feedback regarding my story. Writing means a lot to me and it brings me great joy to know that other people appreciate my work. Second, I would like to clarify. This happened in January 2010. The same night, I slept over a friends house and didn't tell my parents what happened. I didn't think I was going to have serious damage...I thought I'd wake up in the morning with a black eye and nothing else. But when the next day came, the pain was still unbearable and after explaining everything to my parents when I returned home, they took me to the hospital. There, since my injuries were assault-related, I was visited by a few cops who took all the information about the fight and told me to go to the police precinct in the neighborhood in which the fight happened and to file a report. This was difficult considering i had limited information about this girl. She didn't have any personal information on Facebook and her last name wasn't known either. I gave the detectives every phone number and address I had that could help them track her down. But to no avail. To this day I never heard back from the police. I'm assuming she moved and remained untraceable. The whole scenario not only disgusted me with the idea of violence, but now I'm not too fond of cops...
12:04 PM on 12/05/2011
Thank you for this article. My heart goes out to you.
01:20 PM on 12/09/2011
I lost a son due to bullying-he was one of the kindest and giving person I have know.I did not know for a long time that he was a victim of bullying.I also did not know he was terrified to go to school-nor did I know the school did nill to none to help his situation.What a waste of a human life. Shame on the people who do the bullying.Here is a poem written by him just befor he died...Once so young and shy-And so afraid of life-Now;I have become a lonely heart-So afraid to be by myself-Afraid of what life-What is in store for me to become-Death always in my mind-Life just out of my grasp-Flames of love eating inside of me-But afraid of falling in love-Why?Life is so confusing in my eyes-But I will always be,if you need me by your side-YES thats me in the corner.In memory of Gary Robert York...Bullied to death-What a shame and a waste of a fine and careing young man..PEACE
01:22 PM on 12/04/2011
And people wonder why I don't "FaceBook".
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ironicisntit
03:10 PM on 12/03/2011
For some, like the girl you described, Facebook has become just another venue for them to express their rage and hatred for the world. What is most sad is that it is now more common for onlookers to video tape a fight than to try and stop it.
11:22 AM on 12/03/2011
OMG - Bullying is so so so wrong and the problem too is that bullies in school and on the playground become bullies in adult life - at work and whatnot.

I was at a McDonalds in line for lunch (suit, briefcase etc) and watched an ADULT woman teach her daughter (about 15), her friend (15) and the little sister(11?) how to HATE Hispanics. I watched as the mom told the teens how to "think about" the Hispanics (pointing out the food workers there) - they kept looking to me (smiling at me) for acknowledgment and/or agreement. I did my best to ignore them. After they ordered, they stepped aside to wait for their food - I stepped up to order and used my best Spanglish to order food & say something nice to the worker and then smiled at the worker wishing her a nice day. The woman and her minion didn't try to make eye conact with me again and I purposefully stood very close to them to wait for my food. Although, not a direct attack on them - I hoped to make a difference. I don't think that anything I did would ever change their minds, but I made my poin.

Hate is generational, and unless something dramatic happens in the lives of the bullies, I am not sure how to go about changing this. I hope more and more people are able to learn to stand together and stand UP to bullies.

So sad.
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John Weddig
11:02 AM on 12/03/2011
Nicely written article. I was always told to stand up against bullies and there's a lot of that going these days especially in cyberspace. So the question becomes, do you confront the cyber-gangs that troll online commentaries or ignore such behavior? It takes some time and effort to continually refute some of these people and in the process it's easy to sink their level so I think the answer could go both ways. I only wish there were more people standing up to the storm of idiocy raging in our nation that manifests itself on cyber forums.
TMcKeon
You, who are on the road
10:44 AM on 12/03/2011
So many people don't think carefully enough before accepting someone as a "friend," especially teenagers. There's some kind of competition out there that says if you have hundreds of friends, you must either be a really nice person or really popular. This indiscriminate acceptance opens the doors so unsavory and dangerous people can worm their way into a conversation and create havoc. This cyberbully obviously has problems nobody knows about, is unstable and miserably unhappy. Social networking is all well and good, until you invite someone scary to the party. The world is full of monsters, and part of growing up is realizing that and keeping yourself as safe as possible.
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ashisu
10:42 AM on 12/03/2011
I'm so sorry this happened to you. When things like this happen to young people, it's too often dismissed. We tell the victims to toughen up or ignore bullying behavior, but it's not that easy, is it? And this signals to the bully that their behavior is acceptable. Then when they act violent as adults, they face serious legal consequences. If you haven't already, I would urge you take legal action against this girl. It's unlikely that this is her first or last physical altercation. The sooner she faces the consequences of her actions, the better.
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emmeaki
10:21 AM on 12/03/2011
Sara is more than just a bully. She needs psychological help.
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hans sulu
Thanks to CU this space for rent
10:08 AM on 12/03/2011
I hope you presses criminal & civil charges against this woman. If not what is to stop her from doing this again. A lesson needs to be learned and you need to teacher that this behavior is not acceptable. I also hope your recover is quick.
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dogreen
Proud to be from WI
08:17 AM on 12/03/2011
It's time to put social media in it's place, life is to be lived not discussed online. Social media has it's place, it should not be first place.
03:29 PM on 12/05/2011
i'm so sick of facebook. my b/f never stops looking at his iphone! fb is like oxygen for people these days. what is the freakin deal? whatever happened to real life and communicating in person with the people that are actually in your life?
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Havana Thinks
Live and Let Live!
08:15 AM on 12/03/2011
Hospitals have specialists who will take down info for assault+battery. You should pursue this to the end because it will continue with other victims if you let it slide. What happens when you see her the next time?!!! Call the police and report the crime. Also, get the videotape as evidence and witness corroboration. You can have your medical expenses paid for by her and sue for damages, pain and suffering. A restraining order might be necessary prior to settling. Good luck and I hope you have healed and have no lasting damages.