TEDxWomen Panel With Arianna Huffington Discusses How To Redefine Success

Yesterday, in conjunction with the Paley Center for Media's bicoastal TEDxWomen conference, Arianna Huffington hosted a panel discussion about the ways women can redefine success.

The conversation touched on everything from how to schedule time for yourself to why it's okay -- crucial even -- for women to speak out about their failures. AOL/Huffington Post employees in the audience raised important questions about how successful women can overcome "Impostor Syndrome" and how to identify what you really value.

Take a look at the clips above from the event -- and tell us in the comments how you're redefining success in your own life.

Comments

[Alexis Sclamberg]

01:16 PM on 12/06/2011

This is such an important discussion. As an Ivy-league trained lawyer, I was taught that success is a shiny office and fat paycheck -- but the happiness, meaning and purpose I'm looking for live far behind the walls of the Big Law office I once worked. I just wrote about my own mission to re-define success and ambition here, check it out: http://www.forbes.com/sites/shenegotiates/2011/12/05/gen-y-lawyer-ponders-the-meaning-of-success/

[Valerie Young]

04:51 PM on 12/04/2011

Thanks for this wonderful discussion.

I recently published a book with Random House about why so many capable women needless feel like impostors waiting for the no-talent police.

To Arianna’s point, no one "likes" to fail. But for "impostors" and women generally, failure evokes deep shame making her advice to embrace of the inevitability of failure and persevere so important.

I also appreciated the panel talking about how women relentlessly compare ourselves to others in tandem with the need to definite success on our own terms.

Women have (and have been allowed to have) a more layered definition of success that goes beyond the traditional male model of power/money/status to include things like satisfaction, making a contribution, and balance.

It’s no coincidence that situations where money/power/status are in play—salary negotiations, being singled out for recognition, a promotion, deciding whether to scale a business—are the times when you may wonder, "Do I really deserve it?" or "Can I really handle it?"

You assume it’s the self-doubt talking. And maybe it is.

But it could also be signaling a mismatch between the social definition of success and what matters most to you. The question women need to ask is, “Am I afraid because I don’t think I CAN do it, or do I just not want IT”?

Valerie Young
The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

[Humanitari Leandro]

02:15 PM on 12/03/2011

Excellent!
women will save the world

[rkmlk]

10:28 AM on 12/03/2011

I have missed something here so I must ask, what does TED stand for? Thanks.

[EarlP]

06:11 PM on 12/03/2011

google them. they're excellent. (TED Talks in general that is)

[Unitynow8]

08:26 PM on 12/03/2011

I think it's Technology, Entertainment, Design

[PerfumeisToxic]

08:45 AM on 12/03/2011

Women will have problems getting anywhere until they stop being so naive and realize that they ARE under constant attack. That they are being undermined and set up to fail from the beginning with impossible contradictory expectations.

One such element is compulsory exaggerated "femininity" A good woman is supposed to be feminine but a good person is supposed to be strong. These two things are often in direct contradiction. If a woman is "feminine" she is weak, if she is strong she is "unfeminine". Masculine even.

No wonder women are confused and permanently emotionally gridlocked. No matter what they do the are always wrong. The solution is that women need to give up this false "femininity" and see it for the binding chains that it is and is intended to be. How often do you hear any strong woman called a lesbian because she is daring to not obey?

[h0tr0d]

01:52 PM on 12/04/2011

There is not a single woman in my orbit that believes being strong and being feminine are inconsistent. Where in the world do you live ?

[giftsthatpurr]

02:33 PM on 12/04/2011

Excellent! Fav'd. Women have always been strong, but had to pretend not to be. If a woman was NOT strong, how on earth could she have been able to do all the things she does & has done - (mostly) without any compensation? However, if she acted assertively, she was being shrill, or overly competitive, or aggressive, or bitchy, or a shrew! Most injurious of all, if she stood up for herself she was hard, cold or hysterical. these sterotyoes are ignorant and untrue, and must be overcome. My response when called any of these names (or worse) is simply SO?

[Lorraine Esposito]

04:51 AM on 12/03/2011

Motherhood is a role with primal connections of importance. Speaking of failure is difficult because it raises the alarm of threat to survival not only in the mother speaking, but in all those who listen. As our genetic make-up catches-up with the advancements in our memetic environment, this alarm will begin to quiet-down. Until then, it's wonderful that you're speaking about the benefits of failure so that, even if a mother isn't able to overcome the reptilian fright openly, she may be able to at least begin to do so to herself. Thanks for the share.

[Jahnabi Barooah]

11:48 PM on 12/02/2011

No, society doesn't have just one strict definition for men's success and I definitely agree that there could be a parallel conversation involving men. However, I do believe, that for hundreds of years, women in many parts of the world have been denied their rights and this inter-generational effect has to be acknowledged. Of course, we shouldn't be stuck there (that would be going backwards), but we should not and cannot afford to ignore our history, however problematic it might be.

[Jahnabi Barooah]

05:16 PM on 12/02/2011

I thoroughly enjoyed attending the discussion. I hope there can be more like this in the future.