Stephen Colbert could not be more excited about Rick Perry's "Strong" ad, in which the Texas governor claims that he'll "end Obama's war on religion," which is exemplified by the fact that gays can serve in the military but children can't "openly celebrate Christmas."
Colbert is nothing if not a pro-Christmas advocate, so he was very pleased to finally hear a candidate come out in favor of the holiday, which is constantly under attack.
"Thanks to the gays, our children cannot openly celebrate the birth of their Savior in school, and yet, these gays in the military can openly celebrate their favorite holiday: Being away from their families risking their lives in Afghanistan."
But Stephen's love of Christmas is throbbing hard, and he'll be damned if the gays take it away from him. "They don't understand that unlike being gay, loving Christmas is not a choice." He goes into great detail about the deep, carnal pleasure Christmas gives him, before bringing down the mistletoe and a couple Santas to demonstrate that cocoa isn't the only thing that can get hot during Christmas.