Worst Christmas Gifts For Kids Ever (PHOTOS)

From action figures tainted by lead-based paint to construction sets with trachea-sized parts, the number and variety of children's toys pulled from shelves every year shows that the kids toy industry isn't the fun-filled joyride we see in "Big." And that's not counting all the physically harmless but psychologically toxic kids stuff for sale, like the line of sexist J.C. Penney T-shirts that somehow hit shelves earlier this year.

But beyond the poisonous and the shoddily-made and the sexist, there's still a treasure-trove of toys out there that are so strangely and indescribably inappropriate for children that you just have to experience them for yourselves.

So in the spirit of these peculiar playthings, we found 25 children's toys that you do NOT want to give your kids for the holidays. Or perhaps you disagree; after all, breastfeeding dolls and gas-powered mini cars can provide some teachable moments, even if those moments are horrible. So make sure to cast your vote for each toy and set us straight in the comments!

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Comments

[rg9rts]

05:23 AM on 05/19/2012

Pole Dancer is a big hit in the trailer queen set.

[fredgladys]

11:59 PM on 05/17/2012

Many of these toys were obviously the result of the marketing people going for a very long, very liquid lunch.

[rg9rts]

05:24 AM on 05/19/2012

Smoked some too!~~(^..^)

[cuteliberalchick]

11:32 PM on 02/09/2012

hahaha lol

[oberlinkay91]

09:08 PM on 01/26/2012

The only toy that was really bad was the second one (the little monkey). That was pretty horrible. The others were just stupid...... Baby Wee Wee was funny LMAO but not for kids

[JUICYJ305]

11:44 AM on 12/29/2011

THE LIL WEE LMAOOOO!!

[mszksg]

08:50 AM on 12/25/2011

I can even afford the toy Audi? Unfreakingbelievable.

[oberlinkay91]

09:09 PM on 01/26/2012

It was more than the vehicle I currently own.....

[amkenkent]

04:45 AM on 12/22/2011

My MIL bought the cleaning trolley for my boys for Christmas 2 years ago (when they were 2). It was a favorite for years! Kids love to mimic cleaning like mommy and daddy. We just passed it on to my niece this past fall.

[colinmeister]

03:39 PM on 12/28/2011

Just the thing to train children to become Gingrich inspired child janitors!

[oberlinkay91]

09:26 PM on 01/26/2012

There's a different between kids helping around the house/farm and learning valuble lessons and actual child labor. I worked for/on my parents farm growing up and it was hard at time, but I wouldn't consider it "child labor" or abuse. I learned a lot and I wouldn't change it for anything. However, kids that are actually forced to work is a completely different situation. Kids serving in factories, mills, coal mines, etc. like they used to do (or sometimes do in third world counties) is not right.

[cuteliberalchick]

11:31 PM on 02/09/2012

By the time they are 12 they can clean those toilets sparkling clean

[79sWife]

01:27 AM on 12/21/2011

Um wow seriously? These are tasteless and awful for children. Just weird. The problem is these gifts will be bought and given to children-and I know some of you will say atleast they are getting a toy.......... this is America unbelievable...........

[GoldenGateCA]

11:42 AM on 12/16/2011

Wow - some seriously BAD toys here. I am guessing this is just a preview of more to come as the DESIGN of toys follows their manufacture over seas. I laughed at several of them, but liked the Playmobil security checkpoint. Needs a little groping station, though.

[logic-a-go-go]

10:42 PM on 12/14/2011

This is on the comedy site, so it is intended to be funny. I can laugh with the best, but number 2 is very, very offensive and should never have been included on a comedy column/site. It goes way too far, HuffPo. I am very disappointed in such a callous decision by your editors.

[humaneisfact]

09:08 PM on 04/09/2012

the headline is worst toys ever.I think the monkee toy fits that description. Relax a little.

[humaneisfact]

09:13 PM on 04/09/2012

sorry worst xmas gifts....but you get the point

[Root Beer]

05:08 PM on 12/14/2011

The cleaning toy is fine. Anything to tell kids that actually doing work around the house is OK.

[cuteliberalchick]

11:32 PM on 02/09/2012

I started mopping the house when I was 7 I can now clean my house sparkling clean.

[rg9rts]

05:29 AM on 05/19/2012

Do you do windows too?

[CharlieTuba]

04:58 PM on 12/14/2011

The "Sulky" Rickshaw looks like a modified hand truck. The hand truck costs less and holds more weight.

[red9taildfox]

01:44 PM on 12/14/2011

I actually had one of those McDonalds drive thru's when I was a kid.
Granted, mine was taller and not quite as colorful, but I still remember loving that thing to death.
Little ironic that when I did have a job at McDonalds for 2.5 years, I hardly ever got put at the drive thru.

[Tikvah Bethany Adler]

09:22 AM on 12/14/2011

Breastfeeding is becoming more common in our culture, so kids are emulating it with their dolls. The "breastfeeding doll" is just trying to cash in on something that kids are already doing anyway.

[jswift1121]

12:29 PM on 12/14/2011

And here I was thinking it was creepy! Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[94613]

08:00 AM on 12/14/2011

Mitt Romney encourages the usage of "pole dance" for his policy gymnastics. Newt bought the poledance/ lapdance combination. These are not kid type treats to be nestled under a tree.