Comedian Joe Mande wants everyone to stop pretending Hanukkah and Christmas are equal holidays. Even though he celebrates Hanukkah, Mande insists that Christmas is a much more fun celebration, and everyone needs to stop pretending it isn't.
In his second appearance on "Conan" in roughly three months, Mande explains that despite all efforts of political correctness, the Christian and Jewish December holidays are not exactly equal.
"Do you guys know the story of Hanukkah?" Mande asks. "Hanukkah is a holiday where were we remember the Maccabees. The Maccabees were these Jews from thousands of years ago who got locked inside the temple in downtown Jerusalem and they couldn't get out, so they were forced to ration lamp oil for a week. The end."
Mande goes on to talk about the bizarre nature of traditions surrounding Christmas and other Christian holidays, like Easter (which he calls "a zombie birthday party"), but concedes that the Hanukkah festivities pale in comparison to Christmas.
In addition to his stand-up, Mande is currently a writer on Nick Kroll's upcoming sketch show. He also made headlines earlier this year for ruthlessly mocking Gilbert Arenas' sexist behavior on Twitter until the NBA star deleted his account.