Kid Hates Shots: How Do I Make Them Less Scary?

Dear Susan,

Every time I take my five year old to the pediatrician, she screams bloody murder when she has to get shots. Is there anything I can do that will make it less traumatic? She is terrified of needles.

Signed,
Dr. Mom

Dear Dr. Mom,

Most children are afraid of shots; there's something inherently scary about having an injection. But there are a number of things that you can do to lessen your daughter's fears. Here are some tips:

Let her practice giving shots to her dolly with a play doctor kit. The more familiar she is with the rituals associated with the experience, the less it will frighten her. Help her reassure Dolly that the shot will be a prick that will be over quickly. Offer to help her distract Dolly with bubbles or a special song as you make sure Dolly looks away from her arm. Encourage her to comfort Dolly if she whimpers or cries, and then congratulate Dolly with your daughter when "the procedure" is finished. And, make sure you put on a special bandage.

Ask your pediatrician for a prescription for a numbing cream like EMLA, which you -- or your daughter -- apply to the injection site about an hour beforehand to numb the area. This will greatly diminish the sensation, making the shot less painful and therefore less traumatic. Your doctor may also suggest that you give her a children's acetaminophen beforehand, if he thinks it's appropriate.

Distract, distract, distract! Go to the bakery beforehand and let her pick out a delicious cookie that she can focus on. Put a special story or song on your iPod that she can listen to while the nurse administers the shot. Play "I Spy" with your daughter to get her looking for things that are round, or blue, or have red letters; it's best that she avoids looking at her arm.

Remind your daughter of "owies" she's survived in the past. Tell the nurse how brave your daughter was when she scraped both knees after falling off a scooter, or how she managed the pain after being stung by a bee. By helping her focus on other difficult experiences she's endured -- even bragging a bit about it to someone else as she overhears -- you'll remind her that she's stronger than she thinks.

Ask for a kid-friendly nurse. Anxious children can throw a less experienced nurse off-center, causing them to be harsh and impatient, which makes everything worse. Schedule your immunizations for a day when there is a nurse on staff who knows how to handle needle-phobic kids.

Help your daughter feel more in control. Put her in charge of applying the numbing cream. Have her pick out which fancy Bandaid to use. If she's interested, explain why the shots are beneficial; she may feel less powerless if she understands the science behind the medicine she's receiving.

The most important things you can do to help ease your daughter's fears is to be a kind and steady presence. Don't let her upset trigger your own. Stay calm, hold her gently, and offer a steady stream of reassuring words. When the ordeal is over, offer a big congratulatory hug, and consider a special treat -- for you both!

Yours in parenting support,
Susan

Parent Coach, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan's free parenting newsletter.

Comments

[Lmurwood]

10:58 PM on 01/17/2012

It helps if you don't make a big deal about it we a very casual and my kids are calm about it.

[mothertruth]

07:00 PM on 01/14/2012

Perhaps she's scared because on some level she knows that vaccines are filled with neurotoxins like aluminum and mercury that cause long term damage to the immune system. Perhaps she knows she is being injected with poison.

[All Seeing Guy]

07:14 PM on 01/14/2012

*snort* This type of crud was bad enough coming from a hot blonde, somehow I don't think you've got that goin on for yourself.

[RButler]

04:50 PM on 01/14/2012

I hated shots as a kid, even kicking the syringe out of the doctor's hand when I was about 6. As an adult I learned to focus and relax, relax, relax the area to be injected. The more relaxed your muscles, the less you feel it. I have also learned to have dental work, even gold crowns, without any novacain by focusing and relaxing during the drilling. Sometimes, I almost nod off and leave the dentist in a very relaxed state with no numbness or soreness afterward. If I were working with a child, I would teach them to relax their arm or buttocks while gently pressing a finger or Q-tip lightly into the skin so they can get a sense of what it's like to be able to relax those areas. And, then at the doctor's office, coach them on that same technique while getting the shot. I think the 'distraction' method is misguided. Years later, the now grown person will 'distract' from pain with alcohol or meds because 'distraction' is what they learned.

[Mike6514]

10:35 PM on 01/13/2012

People play up the shots too much. The more time you spend trying to divert their attention, the more you "announce" they're going to get a shot. Treat it as another ordinary dr visit. We do that with our kids and never had a major problem. Children can read parents anxiety like a book. Even a HINT of anxiety a child will pick up on. Relax! Chill out! Its only an injection! Much more brief and painless than the diseases that they're being injected for!

[askonemom]

04:01 PM on 01/13/2012

Parents need to be honest with their kids. Tell them the shot is going to hurt! A shot hurts when it enters the skin and then it usually burns/stings when the medicine goes in. Then, when your child experiences the hurt let them have his or her experience of the pain. It doesn't say anything about you as a parent if your child is suffering the hurt of a shot. What speaks volumes is how you, as a parent, comfort your child and help your child process the hurt and return to center.

When parents tell their kids that shots don't hurt, or they don't hurt bad enough to cry, they are putting judgments on their children about their children's experiences of pain and discomfort.. They are also causing torment and mistrust when the child finds out that shots do hurt and that he or she isn't the only one who thinks so and that their parent out and out lied to them.

When raising kids, say what you mean and mean what you say!

[Megandale]

02:34 PM on 01/13/2012

I was always terrified of the pin prick in my finger..my mom always promised me a hot fudge sundae afterwards, it helped!

[RButler]

04:55 PM on 01/14/2012

I can still remember my mother's techique when I got a sliver in my finger. She would hold a sewing needle over the gas flame of the stove until it turned blue and other colors, then come at me and not too gently dig it out. She had no finesse. As an adult she would always want to trim the back of my hair because she thought the neckline was crooked. Again, she would come a me with a pair of scissors and just wasn't able to take a few snips without poking the point of the scissors into my skin. I finally put my foot down and no more haircuts JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO. Sheesh.

[Indigo Aqua]

01:28 PM on 01/15/2012

I heard that using food as a reward or punishment is linked to eating disorders.

[Megandale]

03:49 PM on 01/15/2012

It was only once-a-year, so it didn't pose any issue with food...

[NWmom]

12:42 PM on 01/13/2012

I would wonder if the child has an actual anxiety issue going on. When I was a child I was terrified of shots (I had to be sat-on and held down in order to receive vaccines as a kid because there was no reasoning with me) As an adult I have obviously got myself under control, but the anxiety is still there. I have to lie down to have my blood drawn or I will (and have!) pass out from nerves. I have also been diagnosed with anxiety.

I have three young children and two of my boys are fantastic when they go for shots. Not a wimper or a whine out of them, my six year old son is another story. He is just like his mother :) I have tried reasoning with him, distracting him, bribing him, etc and nothing so far has minimized his terror (we have an incredible pediatrician who my children adore as well) I have accepted the fact that he very likely has a true anxiety issue with shots like I did as a child. For some children I would expect the above tips to be effective, but for children as old as 5 and 6 who are still acting this way - I think the problem might require a little more than a cookie as a bribe :)

[Bluelynx]

04:20 PM on 01/13/2012

That's one of my worst childhood memories: shrieking in terror at the idea of getting a shot, which seemed to be the answer to everything. Being held down and forced only made it worse. I still hate needles and always will.

[RButler]

05:00 PM on 01/14/2012

I can remember as a kid in the 50s, my dad kinda teasing me about how when a guy is drafted and has to get a lot of shots in a long line. Then, in the 60s, my biggest concern about being drafted into the miltary wasn't being killed or maimed in Vietnam but getting a bunch of shots and having to get up at 4AM in a cold place, oh, and the buzz cut haircut. What is it with young people? I laugh at what I thought mattered back then.

[Indigo Aqua]

01:21 PM on 01/12/2012

My mom used to bribe me with My Little Ponies. She says I didn't cry or complain if I knew I'd get a doll for being brave at the doctor's office.