BOOKS

Top 10 Made-Up Literary Couples

01/11/2012 11:58 am ET

Miss Liberty Hardy’s hilarious post “Literary Missed Connections” got me thinking about how my favorite literary characters would act if given the chance for new romance. Her are my top ten made-up dream couples from fiction:

Jane Eyre and Rhett Butler
Jane has the morality and goodness that Rhett always praised in Melanie. She also has the sass and ferocity of Scarlett, but without the self-centered cattiness. And we all know how much Jane loves a dark, unconventional man with high social standing.

Jo March and Atticus Finch
Jo loves a learned older man, and what literary character would make a better mother to the tomboyish and rebellious Scout?

Hermione Granger and Holden Caulfield
Hermione has no trace of phoniness- that character trait that Holden can’t stand. She’s also no-nonsense enough to call Holden on his whiny self-indulgence. While I love Hermione with Ron, I think it would be interesting to see her with someone with a stronger personality.

Betsey Trotwood from "David Copperfield" and Hercule Poirot
Betsey doesn’t like men and boys because of her good-for-nothing husband, but I think Poirot could turn her around. They are both fastidious (His mustaches! Her chasing filthy donkeys off her lawn!) and abide by their strict moral codes.

Anne of Green Gables and Dickon from "The Secret Garden"
No other boy would be as enthusiastic as Anne about The Lake of Shining Waters or the White Way of Delight. No other boy would understand her need to make friends with the cherry tree outside her window. This couple would be as cute as a corgi puppy stampede- namely, this one.

Katniss Everdeen and Aragorn
What a kick-ass Queen of Gondor Katniss would make! They would have excellent vacations camping in the wilderness and seeing who knows more about tracking and shooting things with primitive weapons.

Bella Swan and Lestat
Mostly because he would tire of her whinging after five minutes and just eat her. Everyone wins!

Rosamond Vincy from "Middlemarch" and Jay Gatsby
Rosamond is an air-headed gold digger obsessed with living comfortably and amidst high society- she’s basically a 19th century Daisy. Gatsby could be sure that his position in society is secured by Rosamond’s parties and keen eye for good china.

Don Quixote and Miss Marple
Miss Marple would show Señor Quixote enough adventure to keep him occupied without having to leave the neighborhood and possibly break a hip. Sancho Panza could be their gardener.

Toru Okada from "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" and (grown up) Alice in Wonderland
They both entered alternative realities by falling into a deep hole- think about all the notes they could compare! She could talk about how her tea cakes made her shrink and he could talk about how he would drink a beer and eat some rice and enter someone else’s subconscious. They could go to therapy together and get matching cat tattoos (hers would be the Cheshire, natch).

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