Racism In High School: 'I'm Not Oreo Or Ghetto -- I'm Just Being Me'

This is a teen-written article from our friends at YC Teen Mag, a magazine showcasing true stories written for and by young people in New York City.

By Nesshell Rainford

For most of my life, I’ve lived in a black community—a small and close-knit neighborhood mostly filled with West Indian folk. As a child, I wondered what it would be like to have white and Asian friends. But other than that, I never thought much about race.

In the 7th grade I started attending a new school across the street from where my family had just moved. Like my elementary school, my new school was almost entirely black. But whereas I had fit in fine in elementary school, as the weeks went by, I noticed it wasn’t so easy fitting in with the different groups in junior high.

I would often talk about celebrity crushes with the kids I hung out with. A few times they mentioned a rap or r&b artist that I had never heard about. I would mention guys from Backstreet Boys or *NSYNC, my favorite bands at the time. They would laugh at my weird tastes, but for a while they didn’t seem to have a real problem with my lack of black culture.

I don’t remember what happened exactly to change that, but it felt like all of a sudden fellow classmates were teasing me about my voice, which I guess was a little bit too squeaky. They started pretending not to hear me when I knew that they did.

Acting Like an Oreo?

They said I “acted too white.” I thought this was the most ridiculous thing. I wasn’t trying to be white; actually, I was being myself. I felt that it was crazy to make fun of someone just because they don’t act like you, and especially to try to tie it to race. You can’t say an entire race acts the same; that’s just ignorant and unfair.

The popular kids began calling me “Oreo” in the hallway. They would ask me questions like, “Do you watch Disney Channel a lot?” or, “Do you watch MTV?” and laugh. Most of the time I would lie and say no, because I didn’t want them to tease me even more. I was weak and couldn’t stand up for myself. All I could do was let my anger out through my tears.

Around that time I took up African drumming after school, and the instructor used to make fun of me because I had no rhythm. The other participants laughed and told him it was because I was a “white girl.” I was so embarrassed that I quit the African drumming lessons and went to sewing instead.

When my popularity started going down the drain, the kids I’d been calling my friends gave me the boot. I was petrified. Not having any friends during junior high is like forgetting your writing tools during a test: There’s no way you can proceed, and it’s very embarrassing.

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Comments

[ilovewesborland]

03:37 AM on 01/08/2013

I've been called an oreo too. It wasn't until my
adult years I realize I didn't do anything wrong I was affected
by this. I'd bend over backwards to help anyone
so why do I feel alienated for living outside the
box?? This is an issure no one wants to talk about.
I noticed that small minded people have a need
to simplify their world so when they see something
out of the norm they lash out at it. No one talks
about this stuff.

[Shannon U Matthews]

03:05 PM on 11/14/2012

I had the same thing happen to me too. Students and counselors in my school singled me out for having a "whitish" tasted and mannerisms. That negativity spread into my family from school and a certain teacher's comments about everything I do from my interests in nature, Light Rock, they marked as needing to go into the straight jacket or on some drugs. I got 3.0 to 4.0 grade point average and not fighting or smoking dope. I thought schools were supposed empower not bring down kids.

[imanormalalien]

07:50 PM on 02/23/2012

great article. i totally get where she's coming from

[fightingblindly99]

12:23 PM on 02/23/2012

I often think of the old saying "Reign in Hell or serve in Heaven." Many of these kids I know are jokes among their white friends. Their dating lives are terrible because being African American means that they are not desirable. They date young women or men far below their caliber as human beings because they have such low self esteem. I believe that African Americans are constantly getting divided between educated professionals vs. the poor, men vs women, people of mixed heritage (which let's be honest is really all african americans) vs people of mostly african heritage. It seems media loves to jump all over these divisions while ignoring a lot of the white dominated society and culture that has caused many of those divisions.

[fightingblindly99]

12:22 PM on 02/23/2012

The difference was that they were adults. As I got older white's thought I wasn't black enough, but

if I expressed anger and verbalized that what they were saying was racist and kept black people down

that we were either supposed to be some submissive oreo/token to be made fun of or some ghetto ball

player/comedian/entertainer to put on a show or something was wrong with us. This just doesn't happen

in black communities, but when it does the kids often grow out of it. The thing I found was that as I

grew older people in the white communities where I worked did not. They weren't forced to grow out of

it or confront their racism. Many blacks I know now ask me for advice (i'm now an attorney, no not

always criminal law advice that's a stereotype). The one thing that worries me is that I've seen many

of the black kids that were made fun of like me for being too white or that were of mixed ancestry

rejecting their race or in the case of people from mixed ancestry part of their ancestry. There is

this constant avoidance of other African Americans.

[fightingblindly99]

12:21 PM on 02/23/2012

I have to say growing up I had a similar situation. I was treated bad for "acting white". However, I never took people's flack. I argued back. I was lucky in that I had parents that educated me about race relations and African and African American history. I argued that we as black people had to step up and be more educated. I joined the speech and debate team and learned statistics on the abysmal records of African Americans in education and crime. It was weird, but I pretty much started to get respect. You have to stand up to bullies. The funny thing that happened is that most of the kids I talked to ended up agreeing with me later on. I found that many of them grew up in middle class homes but believed that due to the way African Americans were portrayed on TV that they had to "act black". This was even though their parents sacrificed for their education and broadening of their minds. The one thing that surprised me even more was that as I was accepted more and more by African Americans and even praised for the success I started to have. Many white people I knew started to say the same thing African Americans did when I was a child.

[Kyrie Wise Smith]

04:25 PM on 02/22/2012

My mother didn't even talk to anyone when I was pushed down a flight of concrete stairs and she was very abusive at home as well because I look like my father to her. Thankfully I moved to Montana for the 7th grade. People here aren't very tolerant and racism is plenty rampant. But, it's not the kind of place where people beat you up if they don't like you. There is 0 tolerance for fights at school so I've felt much safer here even with my other slightly less abusive parent. lol. I think it's hilarious that so many southern black people think that intelligence is a white trait. It's insulting to themselves!

[Kyrie Wise Smith]

04:24 PM on 02/22/2012

I'm mixed, my mother sent me to private school for kindergarten and then to schools in good neighborhoods until she put me in an almost all black school in a bad area for 4th grade. The kids hated me. I had a 4.0 GPA, spoke proper english and didn't wear name brands. They called me KKK and cracker. The teachers were nice but would say excuse me we don't mean to insult you when talking about what the white men did to the blacks back in the day. I know they meant it to be polite, but the kids took it as another excuse to come after me. I was beat up every time a teacher left the room. Really funny was that the white kids at the school acted blacker than me and so never got picked on. The vietnamese at the school were exempt as well. Halfway through the 6th grade, a white girl and a viet girl told me how to behave to get less beatings. They told me never wear my glasses, don't read books, act stupid, dress like a hooker, and skip school a lot. I had about 30 absences in some classes after that and took to running away from home with my new white best friend. My mother only ever told me turn the other cheek and say Jesus loves me (it gets you laughed at and beaten worse). I've been an agnostic Buddhist since I was 7.

[cnj2011]

11:45 AM on 02/22/2012

My situation growing up was literally exactly the same! I lived in the south, Louisiana. My skin was too dark for the white kids. During red rover, black kids never got called over. Ever. The teachers always had to step in to call a black kid's name. And I was "too white" for the black kids. I read books all the time as well, never hung out with people while at school until the sixth grade, when I finally bonded with someone over a shared love of Sailor Moon. It always really upset me that other black kids would call me "oreo". Seriously offensive. The usual line about me "talking/acting white". They couldn't relate to any black kid that wasn't in remedial classes. Let alone one who loved to read and had top marks. The white kids thought that I was soooooo different, obviously. I was black! They assumed that you couldn't like the same things, even though in most cases I had more in common with them. It sucks, you are always on the outside, and the worst part is that those ignorant kids can still make you want to be included, though they aren't even worth it. So yeah, this girl's story happens all across America everyday to black kids who do well in school and who speak proper English.

[AshleyU]

07:47 PM on 02/21/2012

I completely empathize with this young lady. I had similar experiences growing up as a black girl who spoke standard American English, liked reading books, had no rhythm, and didn't identify with stereotypical black American culture. All you can be is yourself, but small-minded people of any race can make it harder than it already is during middle and high school years.

When I read about how she tries to battle stereotypes I see myself; I try to face the world with an upbeat attitude and a smile, because I hope people will look past whatever negative ideas they have of black people and see my personality. But I didn't learn that in high school; I'm 25 and I'm just learning. So I'm really glad to see that she has such a positive outlook and approach to life at such a young age.

Keep it up, Ms. Rainford!

[Mistinguette Grandison]

04:36 PM on 02/28/2013

Or also being, like Issa Rae likes to say, the "Awkward Black Girl". But at the end of the day, you are you.

[jm26dream]

07:17 PM on 02/21/2012

People who don't conform to the expectations of others are bad! So just be yourself, as long as that means what other people want.

[blizzard man robot voice]

06:38 PM on 02/21/2012

I think it's funny that being called "white" is a negative thing now.

[MbBrightside]

10:17 AM on 02/23/2012

it's not that being white is a negative thing or insulting, it's the accusation that you are trying to be someone you are not, when you are just being yourself.

[Mistinguette Grandison]

04:40 PM on 02/28/2013

It's not that being "white" is a negative thing, it's that people oftentimes associate talking a certain way as "betrayal" and "selling out" to continue the reign of white supremacy. And it's also that a person is being accused of NOT being themselves. You see non-blacks do the same to blacks who "don't talk black" if they are directing a hip hop show in the media or if they say things like: "I like you because you don't talk like a regular black person." It's kind of that close-minded view of who a person is because of their skin color that is bothersome to people.

[Kashif Vikaas]

04:03 PM on 02/21/2012

stay strong kid

[mallenrohslvr]

03:47 PM on 01/19/2012

it doesn't matter what your skin colour is, people will find a target and pick and pick and pick. . . I was a scholarship student at a private school where I was taunted for being a "witch" and a "satanist" b/c Halloween was my favourite holiday and I read Harry Potter and was tormented for not being "rich enough" b/c my mom drove a minivan and my family lived modestly w/in our mean. . . in high school I was tormented for being too smart (not hard when the public high school's 12th grade curiculum is the same as the private school's 7th grade curiculum) and for being a "goodie goodie" b/c I didn't drink or smoke and my dad was a teacher at my high school. . . I got teased and tormented for having green eyes, all the popular girls told me "blue eyes are best, you don't hear any love songs written about green eyes" and called a slut b/c my boobs were bigger than a B cup, even though I never wore tight fitting or revealing clothes. . . eventually you get to a point where enough is enough and you say "f*** 'em" to your detractors b/c you can't take any more and you come to realize you don't need to worry about anyone but yourself and those that would judge you by your appearance only aren't worth the time of day to you

[KarenDabney]

02:08 PM on 01/18/2012

Part IV

I persistently & intellectually kept up my presence, added more black - & open-minded folk of any persuasion & eventually connected to over 300 black people but it took years to branch out. I'm busy trying to sell a book I've written so I only visit the site once in a while. But I keep my icon of an African styled art piece I did, in order to attract interested parties. Now when you put in black, African American, etc. in the search box it is easier to find black people & to connect with them. Just imagine, 300+ people & how far they have reached by connecting with others! If only one of them found one other, that's over 600 people and so on! I know I made a difference because I stuck to my guns & encouraged others to do the same. Some black members "came out" & thanked me for pioneering. That will be my legacy to the site whether I visit a lot or not at all. My having made it such is a constant source of pride & joy. So, I am proof that you can make a difference no matter what the network. The same goes for what happens when you are relating to people in person. Some will take the time to get to know & like you & some will not. Their loss, from what I surmise.
I enjoyed reading your article & learning about you, Nechell. I am glad