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HuffPost Comedy's State Of The Union 2012 Drinking Game (CHART)

State Of The Union Drinking Game

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 01/24/2012 4:23 pm Updated: 01/24/2012 4:23 pm

Tonight's the night, people! President Obama's 2012 State Of The Union address will air live at 9:00 p.m., and HuffPost Comedy has you covered with our annual drinking game chart.

Many of our rules from 2010 and 2011 still apply, but we have a fresh new batch of drinking cues for you to look for while you watch Obama address the nation tonight.

While you're at it, be sure to check out our Witstream live tweet event, featuring the funniest tweets about the speech by comedians, and also check out Jason Linkins' slightly less facetious drinking game on Politics.

NOTE: The Huffington Post in no way encourages binge drinking. This is the comedy section. If you actually drank as much as we suggested you would die, so do not do that.

EVENTACTION
Obama says "Folks"Poke a hole in the bottom of a can of PBR, put it up to your mouth, open the tab and chug
Obama says he created 3.2 million jobsTake 3.2 sips
Obama mentions the 8.5% unemployment rateDrink 8.5% of a bottle of Jack Daniels (no more, you're probably unemployed and Jack ain't cheap)
Only Republicans applaudObama must have tripped or something. Consolation shot for Barry
Only Democrats applaudHave a glass of water. This will happen a lot and you need to hydrate.
Camera pans to Michelle ObamaDrink, but then eat something organic
Obama mentions "Occupy" or the 99%Do one shot and tweet something @ellenbarkin
Obama mentions "Wall Street" or the 1%Pour yourself a glass of 50-year old single malt scotch, throw the glass out, then pour another glass. You have plenty
Obama harkens back to a folksy, all-american life experienceSwallow a Big Mac whole, do a shot of ketchup
Twitter is mentionedDo a spit-take on your keyboard, iPad, iPhone or whatever you're live tweeting the speech from
Joe Biden, John Boehner exchange glancesTake one shot, make a sassy cat sound
Joe Biden, John Boehner start fist-pumping Stop. You accidentally changed the channel to "Jersey Shore"
Obama thanks technology industryDo shot, write rage comic about doing shot, post on Reddit
Obama addresses Afghanistan Drink for 10 years and 109 days
Camera pans to Warren Buffett's secretary sitting next to first ladyTake a shot of vodka while filling out a W-4 tax form
Obama addresses Iran's nuclear threat Take away someone else's beer and, while sipping your own, angrily explain why they can't have it
Boehner scowls, shakes head and/or criesDo a shot of orange liqueur
Mitch Daniels begins Republican responseScream, "You're no JACK, Daniels!" at TV, finish bottle, wake up with hangover that temporarily makes you forget how much more you pay in taxes than everyone you saw during the speech

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