HuffPost Comedy's State Of The Union 2012 Drinking Game (CHART)
Tonight's the night, people! President Obama's 2012 State Of The Union address will air live at 9:00 p.m., and HuffPost Comedy has you covered with our annual drinking game chart.
While you're at it, be sure to check out our Witstream live tweet event, featuring the funniest tweets about the speech by comedians, and also check out Jason Linkins' slightly less facetious drinking game on Politics.
NOTE: The Huffington Post in no way encourages binge drinking. This is the comedy section. If you actually drank as much as we suggested you would die, so do not do that.
|Obama says "Folks"||Poke a hole in the bottom of a can of PBR, put it up to your mouth, open the tab and chug|
|Obama says he created 3.2 million jobs||Take 3.2 sips|
|Obama mentions the 8.5% unemployment rate||Drink 8.5% of a bottle of Jack Daniels (no more, you're probably unemployed and Jack ain't cheap)|
|Only Republicans applaud||Obama must have tripped or something. Consolation shot for Barry|
|Only Democrats applaud||Have a glass of water. This will happen a lot and you need to hydrate.|
|Camera pans to Michelle Obama||Drink, but then eat something organic|
|Obama mentions "Occupy" or the 99%||Do one shot and tweet something @ellenbarkin|
|Obama mentions "Wall Street" or the 1%||Pour yourself a glass of 50-year old single malt scotch, throw the glass out, then pour another glass. You have plenty|
|Obama harkens back to a folksy, all-american life experience||Swallow a Big Mac whole, do a shot of ketchup|
|Twitter is mentioned||Do a spit-take on your keyboard, iPad, iPhone or whatever you're live tweeting the speech from|
|Joe Biden, John Boehner exchange glances||Take one shot, make a sassy cat sound|
|Joe Biden, John Boehner start fist-pumping||Stop. You accidentally changed the channel to "Jersey Shore"|
|Obama thanks technology industry||Do shot, write rage comic about doing shot, post on Reddit|
|Obama addresses Afghanistan||Drink for 10 years and 109 days|
|Camera pans to Warren Buffett's secretary sitting next to first lady||Take a shot of vodka while filling out a W-4 tax form|
|Obama addresses Iran's nuclear threat||Take away someone else's beer and, while sipping your own, angrily explain why they can't have it|
|Boehner scowls, shakes head and/or cries||Do a shot of orange liqueur|
|Mitch Daniels begins Republican response||Scream, "You're no JACK, Daniels!" at TV, finish bottle, wake up with hangover that temporarily makes you forget how much more you pay in taxes than everyone you saw during the speech|