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Prison Cookbook: Female Texas Inmates Release 'From The Big House To Your House'

By MICHAEL GRACZYK   02/ 1/12 04:03 PM ET  AP

GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands.

Decades, in fact. And that, combined with a few (admittedly peculiar) ingredients and a desire to cook despite the odds has resulted in a rather unusual cookbook – "From The Big House to Your House," a collection of 200 recipes by six Texas prison inmates.

The women all are serving at least 50 years at the Mountain View Unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, all but one of them for murder. And a hankering for foods they enjoyed on the outside prompted them to get creative on the inside.

For example, they've found that an empty potato chip bag works for cooking in a quart-size electric warming pot, their only source of heat for cooking. A plastic ID card – similar to a credit card – makes an acceptable cutting or chopping implement. And tuna and mackerel can be made into great-tasting nachos.

"I know it sounds disgusting," said Celeste Johnson, 49, one of the authors. "But I love tuna nachos. And I've got so many people here converted to it."

The book was produced with the help of Johnson's mother, who typed the recipes and submitted the manuscript on the women's behalf to The Justice Institute, a Seattle group that works with convicts who maintain their innocence. The group published the book and now sells it online.

The book puts into print a long tradition of the joy of cooking behind bars, where generations of Martha Stewart wannabes have concocted legal and illegal brews and stews with a variety of success and failure.

And inmate cooking is not confined to women's prisons. Former Texas corrections officer Jim Willett remembers his days working in a men's unit, walking through a cell block and getting whiffs of simmering foods.

"You knew when there were certain foods cooking, just like being in your house," says Willett, now director of the Texas Prison Museum. "It would make you want to stop and join them, but that's not legal.

"Something like a Frito pie they're certainly not going to get in the chow hall."

The reality of prison cooking is a bit different from "GoodFellas," the 1990 movie that shows mobsters delicately slicing garlic with a razor blade as they prepare a gourmet Italian dinner for themselves while serving time. And it isn't always pretty.

Inmates tend to be creative in the "kitchen." In the past, some have been known to fashion metal plates into skillets that get heated in toilets filled with burning toilet paper. Or to transform tooth paste tubes into spoons and turn fruit into prison "wine."

In 2009, a Washington state prison inmate's attempt to warm sausages in his cell's stainless steel commode didn't work as hoped. Smoke from the prisoner's makeshift oven went through a sewer pipe vent and officials evacuated the lockup for what they feared was a fire. The inmate became known as the "toilet chef."

More typical was the experience of Martha Stewart, the homemaking pro who was said to have dabbled in microwave cooking while locked up a few years ago in a federal prison in West Virginia while serving time for obstruction of justice and lying to the government.

At least she had a microwave, which Federal Bureau of Prisons spokesman Chris Burke said is available to many federal inmates, though they are prohibited from cooking in their cells.

The Texas women – who, in compliance with regulations prohibiting them from profiting from a business while behind bars, are donating proceeds from the book to their publisher – only have their "hot pot," a coffee pot-like instrument that warms water, but can't boil it (boiled liquid could become a weapon).

Ingredients also are limited mostly to what can be purchased from the prison commissary. They can forget about real milk – they get powder – or real butter, as well as most individual seasonings. Garlic? They squeeze that from garlic vitamin tablets.

"It looks kind of gross," Johnson says. "But it works. You'd be surprised."

Looking for alternatives to meals served in the chow hall, the Texas women began pooling their commissary food purchases and wrote down their discoveries, such as rehydrating potato chips in their warming pot. The resulting mush became a "baked potato."

"I don't know if we've been away too long, but it does taste like a real baked potato," says Johnson, who's been in prison for nine years and won't become eligible for parole from her life sentence until 2042.

Prison historian Mitch Roth said cooking is a way for inmates to "access their former lives to a certain extent," and to humanize the often dehumanizing prison experience.

Not every recipe the Texas women tried was a winner. Ceyma Bina, one of the co-authors who has served six years of a 50-year sentence for a slaying in Houston, winced as she described making ravioli from ramen noodles and salsa. And Johnson said rehydrated onion-flavored potato chips "turned like rubber."

Bina and the others who worked on "From The Big House to Your House," say in the book's preface they were confident readers on the other side of the bars would "enjoy the liberty found in creating a home-felt comfort during unfortunate times."

"It shows people how we survive in here," said Bina.


Also on HuffPost: See other well-known prison recipes and cooking techniques

Bernie Madoff's Prisonmate Carmine Persico's Spaghetti & Clam Sauce
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Don't worry, everyone! Infamous Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff is eating as well as possible in jail. A recent New York Magazine article describes what Madoff's life in a North Carolina federal correctional complex is like. And, while it's not clear that Madoff, himself, ever got too creative with the jailhouse rations, the article describes what fellow prisoner Carmine Persico, a former mob boss, whipped up for Madoff and Co. As the article reports:

Persico also liked to use a microwave to cook for himself and his friends. “Carmine made the best spaghetti and white clam sauce I ever had,” says Conza, who was Persico’s cellmate for about a year. “He was an unbelievable microwave chef.” Inmates buy the basics from the commissary, then add vegetables stolen from the kitchen—an onion costs five stamps.


(Photo from Flickr: SpecialKRB)

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GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands. Decades, in fact. And that, combi...
GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands. Decades, in fact. And that, combi...
GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands. Decades, in fact. And that, combi...
GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands. Decades, in fact. And that, combi...
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11:05 AM on 02/06/2012
http://chamoyada.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/southern-homemade-macaroni-and-cheese-via-wateree/ Here are two more recipes from Rob Adams via Wateree in South Carolina.
12:28 PM on 02/05/2012
I did 8 months and stayed on my Vegan diet, I quickly learned the art of trading and even buying food from the outside from guards.
02:57 AM on 10/11/2012
Man, I was watching people on Youtube in prison cook up stuff they got from canteen and I was drooling. It looks good. Prisoners are probably the most creative chefs around.
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chicgogo
One Nation under Mad,,,ness
04:55 PM on 02/04/2012
Prison food and the inability to cook would be my undoing and the worst aspect of prison life. Give me good food or give me death.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
twystd69
07:15 AM on 02/04/2012
I can see how that recipe book reads. Ladies how to woo your next victim is to make them SOS for breakfast (s#$t on a shingle) followed with cold beans and vienna sausage for lunch with a big slice of file in your cake for your dessert. And dont forget to sweeten their tea with arsenic.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
stdman
a winner cus i think
11:56 PM on 02/03/2012
well you dont got nothing to do in prison but think..so ideas are bound to pop in your head!!! they bored...
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360Dunk
Feeder of slot machines
10:40 PM on 02/03/2012
Now all we need to make these recipes work is a sharp shiv made from a table leg and a full body cavity search to make sure we're not smuggling appetite suppressing drugs into our kitchens.
Learical
Maintain!
09:54 PM on 02/03/2012
"Necessity is the mother of invention".
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heikhali
09:39 PM on 02/03/2012
Colorado has a different story, at least in the Denver City and County Incarceration Facilities and the Arapahoe County /Englewood Incarceration Facilities. Numerous high quality food items are delivered to those facilities by their vendors, but the inmates are served sparingly, featuring meals such as small portions of beans and rice, a hot dog and beans, etc., with extremely dilute Kool-Aid to drink.

I consider this to be official corruption, in that someone is either eating the food stuffs delivered to the prison, or taking them home, and it is not the prisoners.

The diets at these institutions are an example of cruel and unsual punishment in addition to incareceration.
Learical
Maintain!
09:56 PM on 02/03/2012
At least the kool-aid is diluted with water. Incarceration is not supposed to be 'cushy', h.
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heikhali
10:06 PM on 02/03/2012
Try it. You'll like it.
rockymtnal
The spaces between your words make the most sense.
08:17 PM on 02/03/2012
Jailhouse cooking is nothing new, and inmates can be very creative. One of the best I've seen was actually pretty simple. The facility was one where the offenders were fed in their living units, not a dining hall, so the food was delivered in trays. The meal that night included baked chicken. After dinner, one of the inmates took a couple of new trash bags and spread it on the table. Another brought out a couple of bags of tortilla chips, dumped them on the table, and then everyone went to work ripping up their chicken and tossing it on the pile of chips. A couple of cans of sliced jalapenos and some bags of packaged cheese sauce heated in the microwave...voila! Nachos Supreme.

I've also seen birthday cakes cooked in the microwave - can't remember what they used for cake - with chocolate icing made from cocoa mix with a little water added; a Vienna sausage casserole (actually smelled pretty good); and pizza (get a few slices of bread wet, mush it into a crust, add whatever you have), among other things.

With some imagination and the time (something there is a large supply of in prison), it's amazing what people can come up with.
Learical
Maintain!
09:57 PM on 02/03/2012
I admire inventiveness, but how do they get these ingredients?
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GOODDOC1
"civil war" is an oxymoron
12:39 AM on 02/04/2012
Probably from the canteen. The little money they can make from prison jobs can be spent there.
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Tim Day
Am I waiting to Live or Waiting to Die.....
07:51 PM on 02/03/2012
I don't think I want to know what the "secret" ingredient is.....
mrmajestyk46
Majestyk Brand Melons
05:53 PM on 02/03/2012
I bet their favorite recipe is "Hacksaw Cake", :)
bbh907
the past is the past,don't look back
05:12 PM on 02/03/2012
Just realized that one of the authors,Celeste Johnson,is Celeste Beard Johnson.She's serving time for murdering her much older,very rich 4th husband.
bbh907
the past is the past,don't look back
05:02 PM on 02/03/2012
I collect unusual cook books.Need to check this one out.
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Brian Corvello
The Republicans believe Hobbes was right
08:09 PM on 02/03/2012
You can't get much more "unusual" than this. These recipes don't sound all-too appetizing, but... Maybe you shouldn't knock it till you try it.
Learical
Maintain!
09:58 PM on 02/03/2012
or, have to try it! :)
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04:40 PM on 02/03/2012
I guess the saying is true, "Necessity is the mother of invention".
03:19 PM on 02/03/2012
this looks interesting, to pick up and browse in the bookstore, and then put down and leave forever