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Voicemail Etiquette: When Not To Leave The Dreaded VM

Voicemail Etiquette

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 02/ 6/2012 10:17 am Updated: 02/ 6/2012 10:17 am

Everything about cellphones is designed to make communication and information retrieval fast and easy. Everything except voicemail, that is.

Listening to voicemails is a pain because it's time consuming and labor intensive compared to something like texting. You've got to call a number, enter a password, listen to an oddly emphasizing robot voice say "You have ONE NEW message," and then listen to someone tell you that they called, which, yeah, you already know! Their name shows up right on the thing!

It's totally unnecessary and ridiculous to leave a message that says, "I called," or "Call me back." This is especially true because a lot of people don't even listen to voicemails before they call the person back, since it's actually easier and more pleasant to talk to someone on the phone than it is to go through the whole rigamarole that is retrieving a message.

There are times when it might seem like it makes sense to leave a message, such as if you need to be called back urgently; if the content of the message will save the person from having to call you back, such as "Be at the theater at 8"; or, if the person is on a plane or out of service range and they won't see your missed call. Unfortunately for voicemails, the message you should be leaving in all of these situations is a text.

Unless the message is too long and complex to fit in a text message (and most voicemails should not be long and complex), text is generally a far superior way to relay bits of info, because it's quick, easy and you know the receiver will actually see it instead of not listening to it for three days and being mad at you every time they see the little voicemail symbol marring their otherwise pristine screen.

There are only three legitimate times to leave a VM on a cellphone. The first is when the person you're calling doesn't have your number in their phone. People have a huge aversion to answering calls from unknown numbers, and why wouldn't they? It could be the small town cops who finally discovered what happened last summer.

Only people with completely clear consciences will answer or return a call from a strange number, so unknown numbers must leave a message if they want a callback. Texting also doesn't work in this situation, because for some reason texting is more intimate than calling, and texting someone who doesn't have your number reads as stalker.

The second time it's okay to leave a voicemail is if you don't know if you're calling a landline or a cellphone. Obviously missed calls are not registered on most landline phones unless they are accompanied by a message.

Finally, when you're calling to wish someone a happy birthday and they don't answer, it is not only acceptable but preferable to leave a voicemail. It just feels better to hear a birthday message spoken in a human voice than to get it in a text. Texts are just too similar to Facebook Wall birthday posts, which are too similar to doing nothing at all.

For those who are extremely voicemail averse, there's a simple solution that we've seen people use. Simply turn your voicemail greeting into a greeting that asks people to please not do what they are about to do. For example, you could say, "Hi, you've reached Bess. No need to leave a voicemail, unless I don't have your number. If it's urgent please text me at this number. Have a wonderful day. I know I will. I'm in Mustique. Ciao!"

What are your tech etiquette questions? Let us know! Email technology [at] huffingtonpost.com.

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Everything about cellphones is designed to make communication and information retrieval fast and easy. Everything except voicemail, that is. Listening to voicemails is a pain because it's time con...
Everything about cellphones is designed to make communication and information retrieval fast and easy. Everything except voicemail, that is. Listening to voicemails is a pain because it's time con...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onlythetruthcounts
Golden Rule: whoever got the gold, rule.
01:56 AM on 02/08/2012
Unless you're my mother or my lover you would fare best leaving a txt, otherwise leave a voice mail. If you're wanting my voice, well I would have to charge for that. Seriously, no voice. If a company demands voice I have a disability that doesn't permit me to use my voice on the phone nor shall I expect to in the near to distant future. It's all signed and legal too.
12:50 AM on 02/08/2012
I HATE when people don't leave a message.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onlythetruthcounts
Golden Rule: whoever got the gold, rule.
01:58 AM on 02/08/2012
Yea me too. They must not wanna communicate with me. I'm not so crazy as to let someone get my voice on the phone unless it's personal. That so 1980's anyway.
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Razzer
When the moon is in the 7th house, and Zyra collid
08:52 PM on 02/07/2012
Voicemail is good, useful technology.

It trumps: being required to leave your important message, word by word, with a human assistant who is responsible to answer that person's landline office phone. And hoping they'll transcribe it accurately.

(Or does no one in the world use landlines any more in business? Or... assistants?)
07:27 PM on 02/07/2012
i have a cell phone since the days of the brick, 94 and not all of us keep our cell phones on 24/7 thus the call me, or call back is a relevant message as unless the phone is powered up you won't get missed calls. to each their own though on phone messages it isn't as if it impacts anyone other than the caller and the person being called. that as opposed to say sitting in a restaurant having dinner while phones constantly go off and you are forced not only to listen to every ring tone under the sun but also listen to the details of another persons life when all you want to do is have a nice peaceful and uninterrupted dinner. better idea for story, when to write or not write a story etiquette,...a little sarcasm yes guilty as charged.
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OliverTwist
Contrarian advocate for truth and justice
05:49 PM on 02/07/2012
Wow. A lot of rules.

I guess it is your responsibility to buy stuff and use it - even if you really have trouble - so as to save the me me me you are trying to contact from spending a full 60 seconds on the startup communication.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
axcordova
microbio? what microbio?
04:52 PM on 02/07/2012
Glad to know I'm not the only one who has become phone averse. Now when the phone is I jump and want to hide, as if it could only be really terrible news.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Carmen Madonna Campos
dude! it's me!!!
04:42 PM on 02/07/2012
happy Birthday Ramona Emerson, have a good one.
02:43 AM on 02/08/2012
nice one, made me laugh
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wilray
50,000 Screaming Fans (Ignore that other number)
03:51 PM on 02/07/2012
Next up - pager etiquette - when not to page.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onionboy
Blessed are the Cheese Makers
04:01 PM on 02/07/2012
What?!

Next thing you're going to tell me is that technology trends aren't cyclical.

Rotary is coming back, man. It's comin' back.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissFrijole
My bite is worse than my bark.
03:10 PM on 02/07/2012
The only thing I can't stand is that voicemails can sometimes be long and drawn out. People don't know how to be concise. At least the people who call me. I am more annoyed when a number I don't know does not leave a voicemail. I had my cable company calling me at odd hours of the night and I would ignore the call because I didn't know who it was, but they never left a voicemail. It was an annoying sales call! If I hadn't answered, I would still be getting the random call at 9 PM every night. The robot voice also is annoying because she goes through this whole spiel before the message comes on. There is no way to fast forward through her. "You have four new messages..." pause "First message..." pause "Received..." pause "On four January..." pause "at 12:25 PM..." pause...THEN the message starts. Yes, I know I can turn that off, but I also like to know when I receive these messages...so...it's kind of a catch-22.
02:32 PM on 02/07/2012
I think this is ridiculous. I love voicemail. I love to hear the sound of someone's voice. I'm not a robot. I know people who never listen to voicemail and I think it's silly. Do we really not have the time to press a few buttons and listen to someone's voice? The world is already spinning too fast. Articles like this encourage people to keep ramping the speed of life. Stress is a killer. Slow down. Listen to voicemail. :)
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ZeroCoke
HP COMMUNITY BARTENDER
02:00 PM on 02/07/2012
now i see the reason why hp is renowned for its excellent coverage of KimKadashian and Rhianna, and not technology or politics.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jeremy Ailes
renaissance geek
11:52 AM on 02/07/2012
This article reads like someones last minute English homework. You've been there, you were supposed to do a simple writing assignment, like a journal entry, but you got busy playing Angry Birds or Infinity Blade 2 and forgot. You wake up and realize you haven't done it and you quickly scatter some nearly coherent thoughts on a page and turn it in. You know you won't get an A, but you know you won't get a failing grade so you consider it acceptable.

Not the way to write for publication in my personal opinion...but it is only my opinion.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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eXpresso
not the beverage, the spreadsheet
01:26 PM on 02/07/2012
This comment reads like someone just discovered the thesaurus and tried to apply as much of the synonyms as possible to convey a snark that could have been achieved in 120 characters or less.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jeremy Ailes
renaissance geek
02:05 PM on 02/07/2012
What are you talking about? What synonyms did I use that aren't used in everday language?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jeremy Ailes
renaissance geek
02:06 PM on 02/07/2012
If my writing seems high concept to you then you're not reading the right books.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jeremy Ailes
renaissance geek
11:48 AM on 02/07/2012
"Listening to voicemails is a pain because it's time consuming and labor intensive compared to something like texting. You've got to call a number, enter a password, listen to an oddly emphasizing robot voice say "You have ONE NEW message," and then listen to someone tell you that they called, which, yeah, you already know! Their name shows up right on the thing! "

No, it's called visual voicemail. It shows me who called and then I just press play and listen. Also, how many carriers, I know ATT does, don't require a password when calling from the actual device? It seems to me that the author doesn't have a problem with voicemail so much as they have a problem with what people decide to leave as a voicemail.
10:58 AM on 02/07/2012
Why would anyone ever use a screwdriver when they could just pound those screws in with a hammer?

This is a stupid, self-contradictory article.
09:02 AM on 02/07/2012
Actually it's quite okay to leave a voicemail if you want to.