The Unquotables: Tumblr Collects History's Lost Words Of Wisdom (PICTURES)

"Give me liberty or give me death." "There's nothing to fear but fear itself." "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Classic quotes like these may be timeless, but that doesn't mean they can't be boring. If you're sick of reading the same old famous quotes online, you might like The Unquotables, a Tumblr from comedians Dan Wilbur and Robert Dean, that compiles all the quotes you probably definitely didn't learn in school.

Every weekday a new "unquote" will be posted that the "liberal history books" won't tell you, as the website explains. Check out our 9 favorite ones so far in the slideshow below, visit the site for the rest and email Dan and and Robert if you think of one yourself!

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Comments

[invirginia]

09:55 AM on 02/11/2012

super lame

[AcesHighSays]

12:39 AM on 02/11/2012

Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling?

[bonelessfluff]

08:34 PM on 02/10/2012

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself..... and stairs.

-Denis Leary

[ArjenBoatsma]

07:10 PM on 02/10/2012

These "quotes" are utterly lame.

[cybolt]

05:51 PM on 02/10/2012

When you've got a topic of funny quotes, the urge is irresistible. Guess who:

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

[WilliamTheV]

07:06 PM on 02/10/2012

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

"The question is rarely asked, 'Is our children learning?'"

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."

[cybolt]

08:58 PM on 02/10/2012

5,6,7 years ago a friend of mine gave a calendar with a Bushism for each day... 365 of them. I took it work and started tacking up each little sheet, swearing only to keep the very best ones. I must had close to 75 by the end of the year. Every day was a highlight for the entire gang... they'd all swing by to see what was going to be next and was it "wall-worthy" (with apologies to Seinfeld).

[ardale]

02:07 PM on 02/10/2012

This was definitely a miss and not a hit......

[mr e vader]

02:03 PM on 02/10/2012

"I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive." - GW Bush

oh wait...that was real...

[mr e vader]

02:00 PM on 02/10/2012

"I hear something in the basement, I'd better go upstairs and look" - MC Escher

[evilchihuahua]

01:43 PM on 02/10/2012

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.
Unless of course you're a Republican"

[pomo59]

12:11 PM on 02/10/2012

Unfortunately, the funniest part of this whole thing was that they can't even spell Harry S Truman correctly.

[invirginia]

09:58 AM on 02/11/2012

Not a priority at HP.

[bettyjochs]

09:22 PM on 02/09/2012

I am now so upset. I must have lost my sense of humor, because I didn't find even one of these enhanced quotes to be either funny or clever.

[Martin Miller]

10:49 AM on 02/10/2012

Ah come on the Shark one wasnt so bad! LOL

[yellowdoggie]

08:37 AM on 02/11/2012

I admit I laughed at the Truman quote. I guess I'm just silly today.

[Mr Anonymous]

08:16 PM on 02/09/2012

"Iraq has weapons of Mass Destruction."

It'd be a lot funnier if it didn't cause a war.

[LMPE]

08:10 PM on 02/09/2012

So Abraham Maslow was the one who made the hammer-and-nail quote.

In case you're unfamiliar with him, Abraham Maslow enumerated the hierarchy of needs: at base you have physiological (air, water, food, etc); next you have safety (resources, health, property, etc); then you have love/belonging (friendship, family), then esteem (achievement, respect), and finally, self-actualization (morality, creativity, spontaneity, etc).

[Phoebe917]

08:35 PM on 02/09/2012

thanks for that: i haven't thought about Maslow since i was in college. :)

[evilchihuahua]

01:44 PM on 02/10/2012

I keep getting him confused with Lazlo Hollyfeld.

[montanadan]

03:58 PM on 02/10/2012

The guy from Catcher in the Rye?

[PrairieGayCompanion]

04:19 PM on 02/09/2012

Wish there was a thumbs down button.

[Marla Broyer]

02:26 PM on 02/09/2012

Really not even funny~ i could have come up with better!

[NormdePlume]

03:05 PM on 02/09/2012

We'll wait here while you do that.

[Mahi Joe]

08:15 AM on 02/10/2012

Please, feel free to share with the rest of us.