Sh*t My Kids Ruined: Valentine's Day Edition (PHOTOS)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got a dozen roses
My toddler ate two.

Welcome to Valentine's Day with kids. From wonderfully sloppy art projects to the dreaded coitus interuptus by kiddus, our most romantic holiday is rife with opportunity for mess. Over at Sh*t My Kids Ruined, Julie Haas Brophy has been collecting proof of the damage small children can do since 2010. Yes, before everyone was laughing at girls, New Yorkers and new moms saying sh*t, kids were ruining it, in admittedly adorable ways.

Now, Brophy has identified eight of the most likely to be destroyed V-Day items, presented for your amusement below.
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Comments

[Saravi]

04:14 AM on 02/17/2012

Ha! We are not "allowed" to celebrate Valentine's Day, according to my 6 year old. The same goes for Easter. This is because to him, the most significant token of celebration is chocolate - particularly the foil wrapped variety - which he regards on par with the likes of broken glass and razor blades.

One of his older (adult) sisters had a bag of chocolate coins which he found and sneaked into his room in the wee hours of the morning. I will never forget the sound of his breathing as he (thankfully) came down the hall to my room with one of the foil pieces lodged in his windpipe. He'd been sucking the chocolate out of the (thick) foil and "oops."

He remembers everything and frequently brings up his ambulance experience. It was scary as all get out, but he's fine now, except for the stubborn belief that foil wrapped chocolate is, by nature, an invitation to a premature death. This Valentine's Day, upon arriving home from school, he promptly dumped the entire contents of his little paper basket of cards and candies from his classmates directly into the garbage.

[Chirper Lady]

08:14 PM on 02/16/2012

Seriously kids rock!! Never thought I would be one of THOSE people, but its true...they rock. On this VDAY I showed my lil one a clip of him pretending to be Mr. Magic on the boardwalk at the beach. He kept stopping unsuspecting people and forcing them to witness "the magic". I could not stop laughing. When I finally got my giggles under control he turned to me and said, "I was only doing that to make you smile mommy. The wrinkles under you eyes make you look so sad all the time." ZING you just have to love them!!

[You Grow Hair]

09:08 PM on 02/15/2012

I once took an entire carton of my mother's cigarettes (10 packs with 20 cigarettes each I think...never smoked myself) and "planted" them individually in a freshly cultivated flower patch. She was an avid gardener, who had made a comment about the price of her addiction going up on the same day she let me help her plant annual flowers. All those crushed cigarettes sticking out of holes meant for impatiens and marigolds must have looked awful (I don't remember doing this at 3.5 yo), not to mention the expense! We planted trays of flowers around my cigarette cemetery that year.

For the past 15 years, I have planted annuals on her grave each Spring, while thinking of that little girl and her mother, who chose to celebrate rather than punish, her child's ignorance.

[Chirper Lady]

08:16 PM on 02/16/2012

That is the sweetest!! I bet she is smiling right along with you all day everyday! XOXO from me.

[Agnt Duke]

04:01 PM on 02/15/2012

Wow. The letter was so funny. I love you but you are ugly. Hopefully this child will someday realize where his/her genes came from!

[am10]

12:00 PM on 02/15/2012

About three or four years ago, we took the kids out to dinner on Valentine's Day. TGIF, to be exact. Here's how it went down: Food came, son had to go to bathroom, husband took him, both daughters said they had to go to the bathroom, husband and son came back to table, I took girls to bathroom, came back while boys were finishing dinner, oldest daughters says she has a stomach ache, husband takes her outside, I eat with other daughter and son, husband calls saying it's really cold and he'll be waiting in the car, I quickly inhale dinner, pay, grab two youngest kids and head home.

It's a beautiful absurdity.

[Cody30]

05:38 AM on 02/15/2012

The ugly mom note was the worst.That would be a tough one to swallow even if you were ugly!

[wpnwilo2]

05:47 PM on 02/15/2012

I hope I'm wrong, but I suspect this has been staged. Yeah, I know I'm too cynical, but how kids many, at an age where this level of handwriting is usual, use ellipses? The paint one is also one I question. The majority of paint on an easily cleaned surface (the glass oven door?) After 10 years with multiple kids, almost all of our "color scheme" has been updated in jewel tones and watercolor pastels. Perhaps her kids are just brighter and more focused than mine ... Nah. It's not possible. Still funny, though. Thanks for the laugh!

[Chirper Lady]

08:18 PM on 02/16/2012

No staging needed. Kids really do these things. We are just fortunate to witness them!! I think it rocks, because obviously she is just not his type.

[allycatsnana]

03:57 AM on 02/15/2012

When my son John was 4..He has since died...He was in pre-school...at least that's what they call it today..It was at a Baptist church...They made Mother's day card...the usual paper & glue...on the front a heart...on the inside...I love you Mommy...Uncle Gary...& Puppy...I still have it and remember his sweet innocense!! At about the same time...we were getting ready for school one morning..and his shoe was stuck under the bathroom sink..he tugged on it and said....G-- Dammit..I said..John Thomas...You know Jesus doesn't like lil boys to say things like that....He "LQQKED" up at me with big brown eye....and said...But I only like Jesus on..Sundays!! Seemed to make sense to him at the time...and I wondered if teaching him...Sunday is the "Lords Day...was enuff ?!? He never said it again...thank the good Lord!! I know he is in Heaven now....and i'm waiting to see his big brown eyes once again!!

[Cody30]

05:37 AM on 02/15/2012

Very sorry for your loss.

[Deborah J Smith]

05:56 AM on 02/15/2012

sorry

[tccat4]

02:26 AM on 02/15/2012

When 3 of my children wanted to fix dinner as a gift for Valentines day, I had no idea till I got home from work, as my spouse was busy over the sink, my oldest son did the meatloaf, we had corn, green beans and whipped potato's. As we sat at the dinner table, I handed them each a Valentine cards, I was proud to see the wonderful food before me. My daughter served my plate and passed it to me, I took a good size bite of the meatloaf and felt a crunch, my gag reflex took over, I ran for the bathroom. When I returned and everyone eyes looking at me, I only had one question to ask these cute 6,4 and 2 year olds, Who fixed the meatloaf? The girls pointed to their brother, he sat there beaming with pride, I asked him if he meant to put the egg shells in the mix and he said... "Sure I hope you liked it".... I didn't eat much meatloaf that night or a while after that.... rofl

[anitafeeney]

04:16 AM on 02/15/2012

oh classic i remember doing that to my poor mom once when i was about five or six lol

[Cody30]

05:39 AM on 02/15/2012

Lol, extra calcium! Cute story.

[J Owen Williams]

12:24 AM on 02/15/2012

I think the letter to the mom with the 'But...you are ugly' was a fake. Children don't understand Ellipsis in grammar.

[joran111]

01:17 AM on 02/15/2012

Neither do most adults.

[tom jr]

01:32 AM on 02/15/2012

I was thinking that, too. And scrolled down to see who else thought that and you were the first. So I agree!

[Margaret Penny Wood]

12:04 AM on 02/15/2012

Here is a sad one. My son has custody of his daughters, who are in first and second grade. His ex is seriously a mental case. We were over at my daughter's house Saturday and the girls were making Valentines with their cousins. The second grader made one for her mom that said, "I love you mom, but all I really want is for you to tell the truth." Out of the mouths of babes.

[Chirper Lady]

08:25 PM on 02/16/2012

EKK just fyi they are 50% her and while the adults mayb annoyed with her for all that she is in the end the kids will have to reconcile themselves to the fact that they ARE her children. Take Care.

[Margaret Penny Wood]

11:14 PM on 02/16/2012

The reason she does not have any custody is because she cannot stop endangering the children. You don't seem to understand that even the children understand this. She will not ever have custody of them because of her behavior and problems. You can love someone and still know they are sick and dangerous.

[Christina Mata]

11:32 PM on 02/22/2012

I don't think 1st and 2nd graders are really old enough to realize that their mom doesn't tell the truth. Sounds to me like something they overheard other people saying...repeatedly. I say this because I still remember being that young, with divorced parents, and not knowing anything about the situation other than what was told to me. As a child, your parent's word is golden. You don't ever assume they lie. You do, however, want to please them, and when they are separated, pleasing one parent can take the form of repeating whatever unflattering things that parent says about the one who is absent.

Their mom may be crazy, but please keep the kids out of it. When they are older, they can see for themselves what she is like. She is still their mother, and they should be taught to love and respect her.

[Margaret Penny Wood]

12:35 AM on 02/23/2012

I'm sorry I ever posted this. I have had so many people think they know more than we do about raising the girls. The reason they know their mom is a liar is because she is a pathological liar. so that you won't have to look that up I will explain it to you. she will tell you an elaborate story and five minutes later she will tell you a different story that completely conflicts with the story she just told you and she seems unaware that there is any conflict in the two. She believes whatever comes out of her mouth. she is mentally unwell and it is not safe for the girls to be with her for more than a little while. some people cannot be helped and the best we can do for the children is to try and limit their exposure to her. When you are 7 years old you do know a lie from the truth when your mother tells you something you know is not true.

[Electric Guitar Goddess]

11:59 PM on 02/14/2012

Cute, but most of these don't really look like anything big. I know kids are cute--I have 6 nieces and 2 nephews (one of the nephews on the way any day now) and they are awesome. I KNOW CUTE.

[amelse7]

11:52 PM on 02/14/2012

Kids are absolutely amazing. This pictures made my day. No matter how much they get into the memories will last forever!!

[The road less traveled]

11:19 PM on 02/14/2012

I am 44 years old now, and I have no idea what I was thinking when I did this, but my Mother kept a Valentine I made for her and my dad when I was in the first grade. It was on red construction paper with white bits of paper glued all over the front and on the inside it said..."I love you very(that word was written about 25 times) much. Here is a penny because that is all I have to give you for a present. (and the penny is glued to the bottom. She has kept that for 39 years. I have no idea what was the deal with the penny except that maybe even then it wasn't enough to buy much.

[Electric Guitar Goddess]

12:01 AM on 02/15/2012

They kept it because it was sweet. They're your parents--what do you expect?

[The road less traveled]

12:12 AM on 02/15/2012

EGG, that is what I would expect, but my sweet precious mom has kept every single piece of paper every one of her children and grandchildren has ever given her, and she pulls every one out on every holiday to show us. She is so proud of that one. She loves that penny. I sent them flowers yesterday so they could have them today and she has spend the day crying. Her eyes are swollen. I am so thankful for my parents!!! But see...even now...kids and Valentines day...my mom has swollen eyes and it's my fault, but she's happy!! That's what counts.

[joran111]

01:19 AM on 02/15/2012

A penny has NEVER been enough to buy much.

[gfgarv]

11:18 PM on 02/14/2012

Here's an idea, Don't leave things where your kids can get to them. I can't wait for "S#it my parents ruined". I'm sure that will be the therapists private info but maybe wthey'll leak a few nuggets.

[larashia]

12:12 AM on 02/15/2012

Wooo, calm down. The problem is that kids get into EVERYTHING!!! Of course most people put away their valuables and certain things, but the kids get into whatever is left! That's the point! NO ONE can possibly put away everything. How is it damaging to say they ruined something? I doubt these bloggers are just completely upbraiding their children over it. They are looking for the humor in it to keep their sanity. Anyone with kids knows that their kids get into things as soon as they aren't looking. I know I ruined some of my parents' things growing up because they've told me. My psyche isn't damaged because they told me about it; I agree that they had a right to be upset now that I have an adult's perspective. Why don't you get some perspective on what these people are actually doing.

[gfgarv]

12:58 AM on 02/15/2012

Yes, I'm sure they are using this "to keep their sanity". Wooo calm down, you sound like many poeple on here, you are only okay with posts that you agree with. Otherwise, the poster has no perspective, no understanding, etc. You don't get my sense of humor at all. I suppose that's because I don't have a laugh track playing behind my posts letting you know when you are to label things funny. It's getting late, I suggest you seal up the box of wine for the evening so that you can get to work tomorrow and not embarass yourself. Take care.

[randomposts]

11:13 PM on 02/14/2012

I'm a Sunday School teacher. We were making edible sweetheart bracelets in honor of Valentine. I try to encourage the kids to make one for themselves and one for someone else as an act of sharing. Only one sweet kid said he wants to make one for his mom, the others had themselves alone in mind. At the end of class, this sweet boy couldn't talk because he had candy stuffed in both cheeks. I noticed the cup he put his mom's bracelet in was empty. I asked him if he ate his mom's bracelet. He shook his head "no" but his eyes (and mouth) told a different story. So much for sweet, so much for love, so much for sharing. I thought it hilarious.