'Blood, Bones & Butter' Discussion For People Who Have Finished The Book

Have you already finished "Blood, Bones & Butter"? Have a spoiler-filled discussion in the comments below!

Comments

[capshockeygrl28]

05:44 PM on 03/27/2012

just saw an article about her possibly having an affair with her sister melissa's husband...wow if she is actually having an affair with her sister's husband... after she spoke so lovingly and passionately about her sister as the only person in her immediate family that she was still really attached to... what a betrayal. i loved the book. i dont doubt she is a marvelous chef, but she seems from cover to cover to be a pretty selfish person.

[fatamo]

07:52 PM on 03/21/2012

One more thing... I find it oddly contradictory that she should be so adamantly (and in my opinion rightly) against stereotypes of female chefs, and I guess women at work in general, but at the same time indulges so much in describing Italian stereotypes.

Granted, they were all pleasant stereotypes about good food, love, quaintness, etc, but everything Michele did was just 'Italian'. Everything Giovanni, Alda, Giulio and even their dog Bud did (who crapped indiscriminately all over the yard like only an Italian dog would... or so I felt was her implication) they did because they were Italian.

I think she's still too enamored with the whole essence of Italy to write about them as individuals, and as a result I guess we missed an opportunity to see what these people really were like.

[fatamo]

07:44 PM on 03/21/2012

The fact that I don't have just one opinion on Gabrielle Hamilton after reading this book is proof, to me at least, that this was a brutally honest memoir. I love how much she loves food and her children, I hate her attitude towards her mother (although there's obviously so so much that didn't come into the book - her relationship with her mom sounds like a whole other volume unto itself), I'm completely flummoxed about why she would marry Michele if she identifies herself as a lesbian (not bisexual)... so much more.

I didn't finish reading this book thinking "I want to be her friend," which is the feeling I often think memoirists want readers to feel (but I don't think Hamilton wanted that). Most importantly, I think she is an excellent writer... except for a couple of paragraphs towards the end which I thought she was writing drunk (and hungry for beans) and the text didn't get edited.

[Jodi Lampert]

08:01 PM on 03/18/2012

I found that I didn't read this book quite as quickly as I would have expected, given the fact that it's about Italian food, for goodness sake. Reason to live!! I wrote somewhere else that I had a hard time getting into it, but once she opened the restaurant, it really started to pick up for me. Now that I'm finished, I'd say, the same. That's the most interesting part of the book. Maybe that's what makes a memoir interesting, what it is you know about. I didn't find her as annoying as some of the other readers, but I didn't keep re-reading, like I did the first Huff Post Book Club choice.

I did find the end to be poignant, however, when she mentions something about the mother-in-law's changing, and how the sons but not the mother are filled with fear of change. Nicely put..

What's next??

[Judy Elmore]

04:08 PM on 03/18/2012

I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book and then I felt like it lost direction. I wanted to know more about why her Mother was the greatest influence on her cooking as she didn't seem to go very far into that. She talked more about her Mother-in-Law and about other people who she seemed to have more of a connection with than her Mother. I felt like the first two sections were very thought out and showed a lot of how she got to where she is, where as the last section of the book just did not impress upon me how it influenced her life other than she really wanted that type of Family but at the same time she didn't seem to connect with the Family other than when she would make food. I just feel unsatisfied at the end of her book. I feel like her story was very interesting and brave but I just didn't like how she chose to finish off her story.

[Carolyn1960]

05:14 PM on 03/15/2012

I just finished the book yesterday. I am somewhere in the middle: I did not dislike Gabrielle, I think she is a terrific writer and I did enjoy the book. However.............she seemed to jump from one situation to the next and I wanted to say "Hey, back up - how did that happen???" For example, she has no money but opens a restaurant - how she financially make that happen? She is unhappily married, doesn't live with her husband but has a second son. Whoo - back up! How did that happen?? She is nationally recognized celebrity chef - how did that happen??? When did she stop talking to her mother? She skipped over transitional parts of her story that would have made her path more connected for me. I must admit that the last 85% of the story (yes, I was reading it on my Kindle) got tedious for me. I skimmed alot of the descriptions in that part of the book. At that point, I just wanted her to get to the point. I didn't need to read anything more about eggplant. I wanted closure on her a person and I didn't feel like I got it.

I totally admire her work ethic and she must be a brilliant woman to have started off on such a bad path and made herself such a success. She sounds like a total bad-ass with tremendous passion for her business, drive and energy.

[Katie Sue C]

11:08 AM on 03/20/2012

I totally agree with you. I was really hoping for the story of how she learned how to make all these wonderful dishes. I wanted to know how she was able to imaging different flavors together.

In the same vein, I have a suspicion that she's probably a much better chef and business woman than she is a story-teller. She is certainly admirable for all of the things she's accomplished.

[msjenjenjen]

10:43 PM on 03/13/2012

I thoroughly enjoyed Blood, Bones & Butter, and it will take pride of place with Bill Buford's Heat. I almost died laughing at Anthony Bourdain and Mario Batali cover comments, it's a shame they aren't on the US cover (must be Australiasia/Oceania only?).
I really enjoyed hearing about her childhood, her family, and how it all went off the rails.. what a train wreck! But equally, what a great job she's done in picking herself up and patching her life back together bit by bit, as best as she knew how, in the given circumstances. I was so interested in her work and study and how her life evolved to where she is now. I read with interest about her relationships, her attitude to motherhood and was so excited when she trimmed the tree at the end, che bella! What an excellent second pick for bookclub, and I look forward to the next book. Thanks :-)

[Cherylanne Farley]

11:05 PM on 03/09/2012

When I first read BBB I came to it as a female chef looking for a public "identity" if you will. As in any male dominated field, female chefs constantly are on the line to prove themselves. If we show any flare towards anything with a whiff of "Martha Stewart" male chefs become both intimidated and rush to join ranks against female chefs as just "gourmet club wives" Because many male chefs are not highly educated, being a poised, educated and highly competant female is a slap to their blue collar faces. Female chefs must out drink, out drug, out tatt and out screw the male chefs to even consider being part of the boys club. I was hoping for something better from the author. Instead she validates every cliche and does not allow room for differences. At the end of her story, granted it was written with courage and brio, she is still lost and for many of us in the profession looking for our fairly earned place, so are we.

[jjcka]

05:39 PM on 03/09/2012

I am so surprised to see how negative some of the comments are. It seems harsh to judge someone who has put their life down on paper and exposed the parts that they felt were formative for not saying enough about certain things or relationships, or to assume that she doesn't understand herself. It obviously has to be a selective process, some things stay private or are too painful to be aired in public. I think she tells her story in a beautifully descriptive and evocative way that does give you a clear sense of who she is and how and why she became a chef. I guess then she is being judged more by whether people like who she is or not. I do wonder if the response would have been different if it were a work of fiction. I enjoyed the book immensely, and am just sorry I live on the other side of the Atlantic and am not going to get to eat at Prune any time soon.

[calgal3905]

09:11 AM on 03/10/2012

While I agree that it is brave to put yourself out there, and I know it must be painful to air certain private details of your life...that's what writing a memoir is about. I don't think she can be immune to criticism just because she has written a memoir.

[jjcka]

02:07 PM on 03/10/2012

Absolutely agree about being fair game for personal criticism if you write a memoir. I just felt there was a lot of focus on what she didn't do or what she left out.

[Kirsten Foti]

09:55 AM on 03/10/2012

I enjoyed it well, even the parts other readers have pointed out as her personal character flaws. If she was not a flawed person, the story would have been much less enjoyable.

[jjcka]

04:52 AM on 03/11/2012

Agree!

[Carol Mahoney]

12:39 PM on 03/07/2012

I enjoyed the book and intend to reread it at a more leisurely pace because I identified with the author on many levels. The author has a lot in common with those of us who grew up as children of alcoholics, though she doesn't characterize her parents in that way. Her inability to relate to people emotionally, her strong sense of autonomy, her difficulty with boundaries and relationships could well stem from her dysfunctional family. At the same time, her unique experiences have given her the strengths she needs to succeed in a demanding, dysfunctional business. Throw in a little ADHD and we have a sure winner!

As an independent restaurant owner I often cook on the line, and Gabrielle's description of cooking breakfast for 200+ covers, her exasperation at having her cooks leave when she needs them most, the relief she feels when the hoods are shut off at the end of the day, are all things I can share with her.

Although some readers were disappointed with the book, I give the author credit for following the first rule of writing: She writes what she knows.

[Katie Sue C]

09:28 AM on 03/07/2012

This book had so much unfulfilled potential. The story about how a woman learns to love to cook and discovers that being a chef, feeding people, and working hard are things that she truly wants to devote the rest of her life to is such a compelling story. However, I think, Hamilton doesn't really understand herself, or really understand the emotions of other people, to be able to write about herself in a meaningful way. Her food descriptions are the best part of this book, which underscores the fact that she can really only understand food and not people. Her inability to connect with other people, to empathize with their emotions, seems to be something that she's not really aware of.

The other flaw to this memoir is that Hamilton covers too big of a time span to be able to cover any one part in any detailed and meaningful way. Some of the best parts of this book, for me, are when she really dives into a situation and describes it in a way that doesn't feel rushed: the dead lobsters at camp, the night before her parents' party spent with her siblings, and the slaughter of that first chicken.

[verysamsara]

08:42 AM on 03/07/2012

Overall, I enjoyed the selection. At times I was either appalled or mystified by some of Gabrielle’s life choices (stealing and marriage, respectively). I attributed that to the weird emotional needs created by her broken/dysfunctional family. I could totally relate to the experience of being subsumed by a blood sugar need, and the subsequent relief and gratefulness of having someone take care of that for you. I could not relate whatsoever to her lack of rationality for the employee who left to work for more pay and fewer hours. I admired the strength and fortitude she demonstrated to keep things going through difficult circumstances.

I felt obliged to visit Prune after visiting the book. My reaction was more about the physical space than the food. I was startled by the smallness of the restaurant. The kitchen drama somehow left me expecting a larger than life restaurant! Keep in mind that I am a Midwest transplant to NYC and everything seems squished here. My Rock Shrimp roll was perfection – lovely and tarragony and chivey. Glad I had an opportunity to read the book and taste the food!

[Spellina]

10:15 PM on 03/06/2012

I agree with much of what TheLadyOrphelia had to say regarding Ms. Hamilton and her inability to find anything worthy in her private life. However, with that said, I did enjoy this book. It's the first book in some time that I looked forward to reading each night before bed and it kept my attention. I did wonder as well what led her to decide to leave her girlfriend and marry into a green card situation. Sadly, we never hear about her past relationships again. What I have learned from friends who have worked in the restaurant industry is that her behavior both as a chef and as a wife and mother is rather "normal" in their world. Chefs, apparently, can be self-centered, hot headed and narcissistic, much like who Ms. Hamilton became. The separate life she lived with her husband is reflective of her "me" attitude but is also a chapter that as a reader I would have like to have had a better understanding of. We are left at the end of the book not knowing where things have ended up with the two of them which made me wonder if she left it that way on purpose for future memoir opportunities. The ending, unfortunately left a bad taste in my mouth...so to speak. I have a signed copy of her book that was obtained at a book reading, by Gabrielle Hamilton, at The Publican here in Chicago.

[MakiMMorris]

11:29 PM on 02/21/2012

I wholehearted agree with The LadyOphelia's take on this book. Personally, I may have expected this book to read 'Like Water for Chocolate' where notable moments in Ms. Hamilton's life intertwined with fantastic food (I did see a glimpse of this when she was cooking with her mother-in-law in Italy). As much as I wanted to love this book, I often found myself confused. I even backtracked many times to make sure that I hadn't glazed over the pertinent information. Such as when Ms. Hamilton goes into details about Michele's beauty routine yet there was nothing about her emotional transition from being a lesbian to marrying a man and starting a family with him. I truly wanted to get to know Ms. Hamilton, and had she allowed us readers to get deeper into her psyche, I think I may have really enjoyed this book. Well, it's 0-2 for me thus far. I look forward to the next selection.

[Annemarie Dooling]

02:21 PM on 03/06/2012

We're hearing the 'confusion' comment with a lot of readers. What do you think is causing it?

[calgal3905]

05:35 PM on 03/06/2012

I think we are all confused because the author seems confused about herself! She wrote an entire memoir but does not even seem to know herself.

[Bibliobella]

04:39 PM on 02/21/2012

TheLadyOphelia, you nailed it:

But Ms.Hamilto­n is a person I wouldn't want to know!