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Civil Unions Criticized In New Jersey Gay Marriage Fight

Gay Marriage Nj

Posted: 02/13/2012 9:24 am

By Edith Honan

NEW YORK--In the fall of 2010, John Grant was rushed to Bellevue Hospital with a shattered skull after being hit by a car in New York City. Grant's partner, Daniel Weiss, arrived at the hospital minutes later, frantic for an update on Grant's condition.

But when Weiss explained who he was, and said that he and Grant had a civil union in New Jersey that effectively gave them the same status as a married couple, the response from Grant's emergency room doctor was, "What is that?"

"In the midst of all of this chaos, this catastrophe, everything kept coming down to the status of our relationship," said Weiss, who works as an immigration lawyer. Grant's sister had to travel to New York from her home in Delaware to sign papers as Grant's next-of-kin, authorizing a craniotomy.

Grant survived the accident, and Weiss said he now carries a health care proxy document -- stating he is authorized to make medical decisions on Grant's behalf -- at all times.

"Frankly, when we had our civil union, I thought it was going to be enough, and the state of New Jersey said, 'This is what you need to do to have all the rights of a married couple,'" Weiss said. "Never in my worst nightmare would I have thought we would have to live through something like this to be proven wrong."

This week, New Jersey's state legislature will vote on a bill to replace civil unions for same-sex couples with marriage, the latest state to take on the contentious issue this year. The Senate will vote on Monday, and the Assembly has a vote set for later in the week.

The New Jersey Senate vote will occur on the same day that Washington state Gov. Christine Gregoire plans to sign a bill that will make Washington the seventh U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage.

Legislation failed in the New Jersey Senate in 2010. Proponents are more confident this time around of the bill clearing both chambers, particularly in the aftermath of a Gallup poll last year that found for the first time a majority of Americans believe gay marriage should be legalized, with 53 percent in favor.

Even should the bill pass the legislature, however, Chris Christie -- the state's Republican governor -- has vowed to veto it, saying he believes marriage should be reserved for unions between a man and a woman.

Both sides say it is unlikely the Democrat-controlled state legislature will have the two-thirds majority to over-ride Christie's promised veto, and Christie has said gay marriage should be put before New Jersey voters in a referendum.

Christie supports civil unions, and has said same-sex couples should have the same rights as heterosexual couples.

But proponents of the gay marriage law say that civil unions are inherently inferior to marriage, largely because employers, hospitals and the public generally do not recognize civil unions and marriage as being one and the same.

"If you call something by two different words, the assumption is that you mean something different," said Hayley Gorenberg, an attorney at Lambda Legal, which filed a lawsuit last summer -- which includes Weiss and Grant -- to have gay marriage recognized in the state.

Stephen Hyland, a lawyer who specializes in same-sex couples law, said the differences between the two institutions become most clear during the most traumatic or joyful times in a person's life -- during a hospital visit, or when a same-sex couple seeks to register as a couple for a birth certificate.

New Jersey is one of four states that allow civil unions -- an institution set up to give the same rights as civil marriage, while reserving marriage for heterosexual couples.

Delaware, Hawaii and Illinois also allow civil unions, and another six, plus the District of Columbia, allow marriage: New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont. These are expected to be joined on Monday by Washington when Gregoire signs that state's law.

Also, at least two other states, Illinois and Maryland, have same-sex marriage legislation under serious consideration.

Some 30 states have banned gay marriage. Last week, California's ban was overturned by a federal appeals court, and the issue could be taken up by the U.S. Supreme Court.

In 2006, New Jersey's high court ruled same-sex couples must be guaranteed the same rights as heterosexual married couples, but left it up to the legislature to address it. That year, the legislature voted to allow civil unions.

Gay couples argued the state had created a two-tier system that was inherently unequal. In many cases -- such as obtaining health care benefits for a partner -- gay couples said the equal rights they are guaranteed by civil unions were not automatically enforced.

Last May, seven gay couples again took the issue to court, calling for marriage rights for gay couples. Gorenberg, the lawyer representing the couples, said she expected the case to come to trial early next year.

Proponents of civil unions as an alternative to marriage argue that, with time, civil unions will come to be better understood -- eliminating the burden on same-sex couples to explain the institution to their employers and others.

Some groups, including some that vigorously opposed the civil unions law five years ago, now say that same-sex couples are seeking to use civil unions as a "stepping stone" to a redefinition of marriage in the state.

"We say that civil unions are working," said Len Deo, the president of the New Jersey Family Policy Council. "Marriage is between a man and a woman. There is no reason we have to defend it to be gender-blind."

He notes the New Jersey Division of Civil Rights have received only about a dozen complaints about civil unions.

(Reporting By Edith Honan; editing by Dan Burns)

Copyright 2012 Thomson Reuters. Click for Restrictions.

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By Edith Honan NEW YORK--In the fall of 2010, John Grant was rushed to Bellevue Hospital with a shattered skull after being hit by a car in New York City. Grant's partner, Daniel Weiss, arrived...
By Edith Honan NEW YORK--In the fall of 2010, John Grant was rushed to Bellevue Hospital with a shattered skull after being hit by a car in New York City. Grant's partner, Daniel Weiss, arrived...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sunshineclaimsfl
05:59 PM on 02/14/2012
“You ever notice the hypocracy that we have freedom of choice so long as it their choice? So its really the freedom to choose their choice and theirs alone and if you cant handle it then pack your bags. What a crock....s­ame with religion the "good books" will tell you that you have the freedom to choose but oh wait if you dont choose their way you get the bat.....ov­er your head!! There's no live and let live......­theres only live our way or the highway. Unfortunat­ely our country was founded on hypocracy and its still live and well today.â€
02:46 PM on 02/14/2012
How about a logical solution! All unions are "civil", just try to get a divorce without going to a civil court. Why not call all unions civil unions and those blessed by a church a marriage? But then when has logic ever applied to an issue like this?
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
03:44 PM on 02/14/2012
What you want is to move a dividing line that shouldn't exist in the first place. I am an atheist married to another atheist in a purely secular ceremony. No one ever cared about that, even though everyone realized it meant marriage was only religious if you want it to be, that the religious part was optional. I am married. You don't get to change that or take it away from atheists in the future.

What you propose is not logical, because marriage is and has been a contract. It is not logical to appease bigots. It is not logical to make the point that gay people getting married is such a radical idea that we have to change the whole system. We didn't have to change the system to legalize interracial marriage even though there was opposition, much of it religious.
04:14 PM on 02/14/2012
I think we are saying the same thing from different viewpoints What I was trying to say, perhaps too briefly, is that a union is essentially a contract. What I was trying to say, perhaps not well, Is a compromise that might be acceptable to the religious right and the more open minded folks, one of whom I happen to be, that would calm both sides a bit.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Darr Sandberg
"What is essential is invisible to the eye" Sain
04:18 PM on 02/14/2012
"Why not call all unions civil unions and those blessed by a church a marriage?"

Because doing this would alienate heterosexuals who currently are supportive of civil equality for GLBTQ people, or neutral, by changing their marriages to civil unions.

Which is why opponents of same-sex marriage keep suggesting it.

Marriage is not a religious institution.
12:51 PM on 02/14/2012
Marriage is between and man and a woman. Any sexual relations outside of this sacred bond is Adultery. PERIOD
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
02:26 PM on 02/14/2012
If you want adultery made illegal, better ban most divorce and remarriage. Jesus said those were adultery, except in two circumstances. But Christians don't want that, or most divorce and remarriage would already be illegal.

This is about legal marriage. Your holy book is irrelevant. And most Christians want it that way.
02:32 PM on 02/14/2012
Yet here we are, a couple hundred thousand legally married same sex couples living right here, right now in the good old US of A, and that number is growing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
04:40 PM on 02/14/2012
And doing a wonderful job.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ayesha Khan
11:40 AM on 02/14/2012
Why this not fair, when the bill for LGBT was passed, and signed by NATO, then the rights should not be denied, This is hypocrisy, It means its only legalized on documents. Here the matter is not if the same sex marriage is legal or not, but once something has been approved by the Authorities, then it should take effect immiedietly . No personal grudges should come in between----
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sunshineclaimsfl
11:29 AM on 02/14/2012
You ever notice the hypocracy that we have freedom of choice so long as it their choice? So its really the freedom to choose their choice and theirs alone and if you cant handle it then pack your bags. What a crock....same with religion the "good books" will tell you that you have the freedom to choose but oh wait if you dont choose their way you get the bat.....over your head!! There's no live and let live......theres only live our way or the highway. Unfortunately our country was founded on hypocracy and its still live and well today.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
02:05 PM on 02/14/2012
Fanned and faved. Very well-said.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LilaGrace
Searching for common sense where none exists
03:15 PM on 02/14/2012
Fanned and faved. You put said it perfectly.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
leyvadaniel
10:41 AM on 02/14/2012
People who are not gay should have no opinion on same sex marriage, since it doesn't affect them. Live and let live.
11:25 AM on 02/14/2012
Ok so you want gay people to have the right to marry, but you dont want everyone...unless their gay...have a right to their opinion? Thats a bit hypocritical! As a hetro person, I can marry the opposite sex, just the same as a gay person, but now gay people want the laws modified for their preferences and beliefs. I completely agree, the rights under a marriage should be equal for sure, but I dont agree that it should be CALLED a marriage, and thats my right to have this opinion just as it is yours to disagree with me, or whoever doesnt sway in your favor. It doesnt make me or anyone else a bigot if I they dont agree with your entire point of view.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
02:06 PM on 02/14/2012
You can have whatever opinion you like. Sadly for you, though, marriage equality will one day be the law of the land.
02:34 PM on 02/14/2012
Yet, hanging on our wall is a frame holding our license and certificate of marriage, issued by our state and duly recorded. So we are legally married, just like a couple hundred thousand other American couples. So if the term "marriage" is good enough for the state, it's good enough for us.
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YouAreJokingRight
Taking you less seriously than you take yourself.
04:31 PM on 02/14/2012
I'm not gay and it is my opinion that LGBTs have the right to marry. I am not going to withdraw my support for them because you think my opinion has no value.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Atwill
Proud Father of a gay son.
09:41 AM on 02/14/2012
Either make gay marriage in all 50 state and have it equal to straight, so things like this horrible hospital incident doesnt happen agian, or take away the 1,300 rights that straight couples have now and make it equal that way. The first time this happens to a straight couple, that one of them is not allowed to sign for the other in a emergency because of papework, maybe they'll understand.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
10:03 AM on 02/14/2012
I'll give up those rights. I mean, don't get me wrong, I value them, but it sickens me that I get them but millions of people pay for me and every other straight married person to have them but cannot themselves benefit from them.
02:35 PM on 02/14/2012
You're such a lovely person! Truly. I always enjoy seeing your posts and knowing your support is there for us dogs in this fight is really heart-warming. Happy Valentine's Day!
09:24 AM on 02/14/2012
Maryland, glad to live in a blue state!
09:19 AM on 02/14/2012
Let the People of NJ decide.
hnnbar
Universal river of thought...
09:46 AM on 02/14/2012
No matter who decides what this will all eventually go to the supreme courts. The giving of equal rights then taking them away is certainly noteworthy with a solution needed.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
09:50 AM on 02/14/2012
The Founding Fathers said they shouldn't. They set up a system of government meant to prevent popular votes on civil rights, to guard against the "tyranny of the majority."

In 2004, a slim majority of Alabama voters voted in favor of segregated schools. Do you think schools should be segregated? In 2000, 40% of Alabama voters wanted to keep a miscegenation law on the books. If that number had been higher, would you agree that no interracial couples should be allowed to marry in AL? Or do you understand that the Constitution trumps any popular vote?
09:15 AM on 02/14/2012
Weiss being a lawyer should have known about these type of documents. Looks and sounds like he took things for granted.. bad example for whats going on in nj.
09:07 AM on 02/14/2012
Who an individual chooses to spend their life with is their own business and to be denied the same rights as anyone else because their choice is someone of the same sex is disgusting.
We live in the 21st Century, not the dark ages. Nothing is being taken away from a man and woman relationship which produces children. They hurt no one. Sick people who want to control every aspect of your life under the guise of religion needs to be ended. Christie is the perfect example. Why should this man be able to alter anyone's Civil Rights?
A veto of the Marriage Act in NJ will cost him dearly when he runs again. The people of NJ want this to pass and become law.
07:45 AM on 02/14/2012
Alright we gave the LIBS a chance to run things for the last six yeras...........It's time (way past) for a BREAK........... Vote out all LIBS for the next six........and then see the difference that a LIB HOLIDAY can make on our LOUSY lives that we have been put through since Nov. 2006.
08:07 AM on 02/14/2012
Better wake up... you've been asleep quite a while now.
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YouAreJokingRight
Taking you less seriously than you take yourself.
04:36 PM on 02/14/2012
Newsflash: Liberals are Americans. Americans don't have to all think exactly the same in order to be American and enjoy the same rights.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
richodg5
05:22 AM on 02/14/2012
It seems that the trolls, have taken over this subject.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
danrothesq
Absolute brilliance
05:01 AM on 02/14/2012
Gay marriage is an oxymoron.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
09:34 AM on 02/14/2012
No, it's a reality. In my state and now six others, soon to be more, and more places on the globe every year. And with the younger generation overwhelmingly in support, it's a certainty to be in all 50 states with full federal recognition in the not-too-distant future.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ed whowannaknow
Keep your panties on
04:36 AM on 02/14/2012
Its very comical (in an evil sort of way) when someone says civil union has same rights as marriage....but oh you cant call it marriage! If its REALLY the same, whats the beef? But its NOT the same, thats the whole reason why anyone would support civil union but not marriage, they hope to fool some people into believing they are the same
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tteeghen
spare me the phony sanctimony
07:40 AM on 02/14/2012
obviously, civil union law of state of nj wasn't recognized by state of ny. at least in the case of the man who was hospitalized in ny in this article.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ed whowannaknow
Keep your panties on
09:02 PM on 02/14/2012
OBVIOUSLY, correct. Thats why anything short of gays being allowed to have MARRIAGE, on a national federally recognized level, is not equal nor fair.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
EmmaDarian
All in all, I'm loving every rise and fall (RHCP)
09:37 AM on 02/14/2012
Exactly, If they had the exact same right, which they don't, the only reason to call them by different names is to create an artificial difference, to privilege one over the other. I swear it's so parents can try to sell the lie to their kids that there's something wrong with being gay, to tell them, "I know your little friend's family seems like ours, they do all the same things, and don't *seem* any different, but they are. See, they can't get married like your mommy and daddy did."