02/13/2012 02:48 pm ET

Honest Trailer For 'Phantom Menace 3D' (VIDEO)

This past weekend, Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace was re-released in theaters. Sure, it’s the same awful movie that premiered 12 years ago and tarnished one of the most beloved film franchises in history, but this time, it’s in 3D! For me, watching a Gungan minstrel show is bad enough in two dimensions. But apparently for some people, an added dimension is a game changer, since George “Han Never Shot First” Lucas just made another $23,000,000.

The fact that people actually paid to see this crap, most likely for a second time, is almost too much to comprehend. So in the interest of warning the public at large to avoid this sh*t show at all costs, we’ve created an honest movie trailer for Phantom Menace 3D. Will it help? Probably not. But at least we’ll go to our graves knowing we did our part.