You can't buy this kind of publicity, so a South Florida-based attractions company decided to build it: an 18-foot high foam sculpture of LeBron James, a monstrous pillar of equal parts whimsy and nightmare fuel whose vacant stare and open, wrinkled doll mouth will haunt us all forever.
(Somewhere near D.C., Bob Moore now keeps his trap shut.)
"The NBA hasn't had a giant thing that made everyone uncomfortable this cool since Manute Bol retired," jabbed the sports blog With Leather, though Foam LeBron won't be alone for long. Fort Lauderdale's Prime Time Amusements is also working on larger-than-life versions of Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, as first reported by Sweater Punch, meaning we'll soon have an Even Bigger Big Three to talk about.
Though there's no telling yet how the sculptures might be used, only Foam Wade may be ready for any and all possible action by the week of the NBA All-Star game, according to Miami New Times:
Work has already begun on a humongous replica of D-Wade's head. [Prime Time's David] Goldfarb hopes to have him ready by the All Star Game on February 26. Poor Bosh is less of a priority.
"Unfortunately we couldn't get Chris Bosh in time," Goldfarb says. "We are making him next."
Thanks for the warning, Prime Time. Thanks for the warning.
Watch video above to see how the giant foam LeBron was made.