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The Onion: Hilarious Love Stories For Valentine's Day

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For longtime couples and twitterpated teens, Valentine's Day is an exciting opportunity to raise blood sugar levels and take a stab at poetry-writing. For everyone else, navigating grocery store aisles saturated with chocolate-covered Peeps and chalky-tasting candy hearts is a pretty loathsome experience.

To save you from your red-and-pink-day blues: Humor newspaper The Onion. Their latest book, "The Onion Presents: Love, Sex And Other Natural Disasters" [Quirk Books, $12.95] catalogues snarky headlines and hilarious statistics about breaking the ice, women's magazines and more:

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