Early this morning, we, your HuffPost Valentine's Day editors Todd and Lindsay, broke up.
But everything's fine! We'll still be bringing you all the news this Valentine's Day with the highest level of professionalism. That said, if you want to know exactly how Todd Lindsay no actually it was definitely you Todd Lindsay messed up, follow our story here, and judge for yourself.
ACTUALLY NO IT'S NOT FINE ANYMORE, AS YOU MIGHT HAVE GUESSED FROM THE VIDEO WE POSTED OF A LION KILLING ANOTHER LION. WE ARE STILL UPDATING THE LIVEBLOG BELOW, HOWEVER, BECAUSE DOCUMENTATION COMES IN HANDY IN A COURT OF LAW.
02/14/2012 6:56 PM EST
See you in court, Linds.
02/14/2012 6:54 PM EST
Kent is dead, Todd, what have we done. I don't want to say this is your fault but, it kind of is.
02/14/2012 6:39 PM EST
Lindsay, does Kent usually look that blue?
02/14/2012 6:32 PM EST
KENT HERE. I am choking on a Hershey's Kiss. CHoking. No one is left in the office but me and these two fools, who are too self-absorbed to notice I am BLUE IN THE FACE. HELPPPPppp
02/14/2012 6:25 PM EST
You're the one who asked for this truce to begin with and now you're changing your mind? That is just like you.
And leave Kent out of this! All he's ever done is bring people doughnuts. You never brought me doughnuts.
And how dare you tell me that I should "lose my memory," when you're the one who is always forgetting things, like, you know, my birthday? Our anniversary? The first 3 digits of pi? The capital of New York State? Oh yeah, I'll go "lose my memory." Like my memory of how you came home drunk three days ago and vomited into the empty rabbit cage? My memory of you KILLING MY RABBIT?
You are an ANIMAL KILLER.
02/14/2012 6:08 PM EST
You know what Lindsay? No. You've just reminded me of why I don't want to be with you. You couldn't just lose your memory and be nice, could you? Truce off.
Kent, what are you doing here?
02/14/2012 5:33 PM EST
Even In Your Truce, You Fail
My "weirdly extensive seashell collection?"
I love beaches, OK, Todd? A lot of people keep collections. It's normal. It's not "weird" or "extensive" to keep a collection of things. You just had to get ONE MORE THING IN THERE, didn't you?
Actually, you know what? I love a lot of things about you, too, Todd. Your laugh, your taste in music, the way you press down my shirt before you used to kiss me, and your stupid, stupid face that I hate.
Sure, let's call a truce.
02/14/2012 5:26 PM EST
This is crazy, Linds.
Look what we've done.
We've made fools of ourselves, OK? There is a lion eating a lion on the splash. I mean...look: I like a lot of things about you. That's why we got together in the first place. Your taste in movies, your smile, your warm heart, your weirdly extensive seashell collection. You're a talented writer and you've always supported me.
02/14/2012 4:48 PM EST
leave kent alone!
How could you do that to a guy who looks kind of like a baby animal?
Would you vote for someone who would do that to a person who looks sort of like a baby animal?
02/14/2012 4:44 PM EST
Your new boyfriend
is walking by the desk. Oh HAYYYYYY Kent, how's it going? Yes, please stop by and give Lindsay a doughnut. Lindsay loooves doughnuts. Oh, and why don't you bring her a blowtorch? Lindsay really, really, reallllly loves fire. Oh you're going to go over there, huh? Don't want to get involved? What? Involved in what? Involved in what? There's nothing to be involved in. Don't be ridiculous, "Intern Kent."
HEY READERS WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHO YOU REALLY PREFER HUH?
LET'S DO THIS THE DEMOCRATIC WAY. IT'S AMERICA AFTER ALL.