Huffpost Culture

Todd Said 'What' On Christmas

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No, seriously, Todd said "What" on Christmas, at least 36 times. I know because I started counting after we opened presents with my family and he continued to pretend he didn't hear anything that anyone was saying. He says "what" literally all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

Me: "Hey, Todd, can you help me with something?"

"What."

"CAN YOU HELP ME WITH SOMETHING?"

Sometimes I wonder if it's a hearing problem or part of a much larger issue having to do with his insecurity, or wanting another few seconds to think of a proper response to what I'm asking. Other times I think he's just slow or dumb. Either way, I'm going to start counting how many times Todd says "what" over the next few weeks. I'll present my final tally at the end of the month.

A NOTE FROM HUFFPOST VALENTINE'S DAY EDITORS LINDSAY AND TODD, WHO BROKE UP THIS MORNING: We're not letting today's personal issues affect the quality content we bring you every Valentine's Day! Still, if you want to know exactly how Todd Lindsay messed up, we are keeping a liveblog.