The skinniest models have, to me, the linear quality of sleek modern architecture. Both are impressive, but the steel-and-glass beauty leaves me feeling a bit cold. In each case, the appeal seems based more in high-concept mathematics than comfort or practicality. It's all about right angles, severe cheekbones and walls that are really just huge floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Eighth Avenue. Which, I guess, makes sleek modern apartments the perfect place for exceedingly skinny models to live. But neither are for me. I live in Jersey City.
Not only do ultra-skinny models lack curves in their physical figures, but they rarely seem to have the welcoming curve of a smile either. Perhaps this dour disposition is just part of the work that they do, but it all feels connected for me. I'll concede that these aversions may very well be self-defense mechanisms, since I can't afford such digs and presumably wouldn't last long on a date with high-fashion model as I'd prefer to talk about the Knicks more than Inez and Vinoodh's latest spread. Of course, that sort of conversation topic might not do me much good on most dates.
Since the "skinny model" is a type that I'm not particularly interested in then I'd say that I'm looking more for the "Girl Next Door." Admittedly, I don't entirely know what that phrase means and realize that it imposes another type of daunting standard for women -- be effortlessly beautiful, but totally laid back.. oh.. and also be conveniently located. But certainly that is an ideal that I'm more attracted to. In part, because it's an ideal that I could potentially share nachos with and that would order a beer if we were at a bar. You could also go hiking with that sort of girl, push into the crowd at a concert and spend time cooking a big meal. And if everything went well with all of those things then perhaps me and the girl next door would even share pancakes in the morning. Do super-skinny models eat pancakes? Yeah, that's a deal-breaker for me.
Chris Greenberg is the Sports Editor at the Huffington Post.
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