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Gender Conformity Study Says Kids Outside Of Norms Are At Increased Risk For Abuse

Gender Noncomformity In Children

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 02/21/2012 6:07 pm Updated: 02/22/2012 3:59 pm

Ten percent of kids defy gender norms before age 11, a new study published in the journal Pediatrics found. Boys considered "girlie," because of their activity choices and interests, and girls deemed "boyish" are more likely to face abuse -- both physical and sexual -- and experience post-traumatic stress disorder by early adulthood. According to USA Today, parents or other adults in the home were mostly responsible for the abuse.

Andrea Roberts, lead author of the study and research associate in the department of society, human development and health at the Harvard School of Public Health, told USA Today that children under 11 are very likely to display behavior that has nothing to do with their future sexual orientation -- of 9,000 young adults studied, 85% of the 10% considered gender-non-conforming children identified as heterosexual.

Researchers asked a sample of adults ages 17 to 27 to fill out questionnaires about their childhood experiences probing topics "including favorite toys and games, whether they took male or female roles in pretend play, and media characters they imitated and admired," USA Today reports.

Two years later, the respondents were asked about any abuse they experienced and were also screened for PTSD.

While girls who were considered non-conforming were at 60% greater risk for sexual abuse than conforming girls, boys who acted outside of gender norms faced three times the risk over their conforming counterparts. Both non-conforming men and women showed rates of PTSD almost double those considered "normal."

Roberts tells WebMD that the reason these kids are at higher risk for abuse and PTSD is unknown, and more research must be done to determine. "Parents may be uncomfortable with their child's gender expression and may think that parenting can change behaviors, so they may become harsher," she said. "Some parents think kids who are non-conforming will grow up to be a gay or lesbian, and if they are not comfortable with this, they may think they can change a kid's future."

Psychotherapist Robin Friedman points out on WebMD that the definition of "non-conforming" is ever-changing because of how rapidly gender roles are shifting in society. She lists stay-at-home dads and CEO moms as examples. Recently, HuffPost senior columnist, Lisa Belkin, questioned if we should retire the word "wife" considering its connotation and that, in this day and age, men and women should be equals in a marriage.

But the results of this study show that many households still believe in traditional roles and are not sure how to respond when faced with gender non-conformity. "Some parents may respond with love and support, others may respond with concern, or with alarm bells ringing, while others may respond with anger, or emotional or physical abuse," Friedman says.

Commenters on "Overheard on CNN.com" weren't surprised by the study's results. One said that we didn't need a study or multiple Ph.D.s to tell us what we already knew. "'If you're not like the rest of us, we'll beat you up.' We learned that in elementary school," the guest wrote.

Other readers wondered whether the implications of this study will turn "normal" childhood behavior into a disorder. Contributor mwhite5990 wrote:

"I really hope they don't start to think that girls that like sports now have a psychological disorder. When I was a kid I loved to play with Barbies, dress up, but I also loved to go outside and play sports and play video games. I think it is healthy for kids to show typical signs of both genders. Most of my friends went through a 'tomboy' phase. And from what I know, all of us are straight women. If a girl wants to play sports or a boy wants to be a dancer, let him, don't just assume he/she is gay. Gender roles are created by society. In short, let kids be kids and have fun."

Psychiatrist Edgardo J. Menvielle, M.D., stands behind the notion of the "It Gets Better" movement and says that, for kids who defy norms, "this too shall pass."

"If kids or teens are in a situation where families are abusive or very critical, they will find other people in the community when they are on their own and grown up. These kids should not feel like they are freaks or abnormal," he told WebMD.

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wakawaka09
Capitalism is a cult.
06:48 PM on 02/25/2012
You know who gets abused? Kids who dad thinks might be gay or lesbian, kids who are developmentally disabled, kids who are physically disabled, or kids who have cognitive or affective disorders. Parents, relatives, siblings, and even those trusted to care or support our kids will target those who appear different, weak, or defective. I ran group homes for DD people years. I had male clients as young as eight who were already acting out sexually. Wonder where they learned that behavior?
12:29 AM on 02/24/2012
I don't buy this whole whoever you are is norm thing. Yes we are molded, it's called parenting. Because a person feels or desires something doesn't make it right. I truly believe sexuality is created not congenial which explains why most victims esp males are gay that have sustained sexual abuse by the same gender. It is how one learns to love. You see a baby boy kiss a baby girl..nice...cute but his undeveloped mind doesn't know boys are ONLY supposed to kiss girls...he's not thinking in terms of sexuality. It is simply a mimicked action. Yes how you dress your child, the activities you select for your child, how you communicate with your child all play a part in sexual identity. I cannot wait to see how the Brangelina pack turn out especially the little one that dresses like a boy.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
08:43 PM on 02/24/2012
You are way behind the curve in your understanding. I actually feel sorry for you and the children you are around.
09:04 PM on 02/24/2012
I'm apologize you feel that way.
05:15 PM on 02/25/2012
I dressed like a boy, "acted" like a boy, and did "boy" things. My mom tried in vain to push me toward the more girly things while my dad accepted what I liked and made sure I knew I should be whomever I wanted to be. So did all those sports, boyish clothes, and activities turn me into a lesbian? No. I am who I am and I like what I like. The problem comes when a boy plays with barbies and a girl plays with trucks and people start freaking out and say it is wrong. The gay people I know were not all molested - they knew from a young age. The problem comes when people like you, who say THIS is the way the world should go, try to form everyone else into what they want, instead of what they are.
05:54 PM on 02/25/2012
What's astonishing is that you are attacking what I believe while simultaneously crusading the right for individuals to be who they are without pressure to conform. I do not have to conform to what you or anyone else feel I should be. That's not a contentious statement. I do not believe all gay people were molested, I never said all children that do not conform to a specific gender role end up gay. I'm simply inferring this plays a part aside from extenuating circumstances. I believe I'm right, you believe you're right. Who is wrong? Who is wrong if both of our kids turn out fine? It is okay for us to coexist and not share the same beliefs.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GlassMask
Comedian/Curmudgeon
04:04 PM on 02/23/2012
I think those who conform to any of society's "norms" are boring. Don't listen to any advice that tells you how someone else wants you to be, and you'll be a lot happier.
12:57 PM on 02/23/2012
All this does it sterotype kids and doesn't mean they will turn out gay or have real issues, some kids like to explore new toys, I used to play with toys for guys and didn't make me gay or a personality issue. Very narrow minded here this article, kids are in stage of exploring and new things and toys even if is girl stuff but, it no means does it mean there going to change sex or cause future harm only because some study say's.
05:16 PM on 02/25/2012
Thank you!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
melanied0721
why dont you make like a tree and get out of here!
07:13 AM on 02/23/2012
i would like to know who decides what "normal" is...

you are who you are..thats normal
08:22 PM on 02/22/2012
I was abused horribly as a child. This resulted in very seriously bad PTSD as an adult. I still carry those scars. I don't know if it was completely because I was different. My siblings did not get the same treatment. So, it must have played a part somehow. I appreciate this study. For me, it brings voice to the children who have suffered and continue to. I think it is very important to speak out. Only then will others know the atrocities of the world. How can they help if we don't tell them what is wrong?
06:40 PM on 02/22/2012
Is this risk better or worse than the risk being raised by a single mom?
08:58 AM on 02/23/2012
I'm just curious as to why you asked this. The article is about gender norms and abuse. Why turn it around and question single mothers? Besides, not every single mother is a single mother by choice. Everyone on these threads seems to think single moms exist because they were "loose." The fact is, there are plenty of single moms who landed in that situation because a husband/significant other had an untimely death, or because they were left high and dry. No one seems to question when fathers end up single dads. It's an unfair bias in general, and has absolutely nothing to do with ths article.
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Karissa36
Saving lost boys and fighting pirates.
09:01 PM on 02/24/2012
Thank you for mentioning that. It is difficult enough being a young widow, without these dubious assumptions.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wingin it
Positivity, for a CHANGE!
06:01 PM on 02/22/2012
As a child, I hated pants and only wore skirts. Not because I was girlie, but because it was easier to do leg kicks in a skirt -pants were just too restricting!
Sableknows
Button Pusher
05:27 PM on 02/22/2012
I just read a report yesterday on the link between soy products and gender confusion . Moms and moms to be should do research and look to alternatives to soy. It's not the health food you were always led to believe.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Conuly
06:59 PM on 02/22/2012
Welcome to ten years ago. Now tell us something we haven't heard before.
Sableknows
Button Pusher
07:28 PM on 02/22/2012
If it was old news 10 years ago, then why an influx of homosexuality and pale,pasty,anemic looking people?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
melanied0721
why dont you make like a tree and get out of here!
07:14 AM on 02/23/2012
i read stuff about that too and said something to my pediatrician .. she said i was nuts..lol
04:46 PM on 02/22/2012
Guess we need to change the norms. Kids will be kids, and will do what they want to do. There shouldn't be a risk for them to be in harm's way because "the norm" says they're not good enough or don't conform well enough.
04:25 PM on 02/22/2012
It's this type of abuse that turns people gay over time.
04:45 PM on 02/22/2012
No, it isn't.
05:21 PM on 02/22/2012
Yes, it is.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
melanied0721
why dont you make like a tree and get out of here!
07:16 AM on 02/23/2012
no its the abuse that makes them afraid to tell ppl they are gay
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
racmd
Just riding the wave of life
04:18 PM on 02/22/2012
Why is the non-comforming issue and parental response such a dilemma? It is very obvious..the child is perceived by the parent as "acting out or up", your choice...or worse, the child is viewed as being obstinant.... Does the view.."I will knock some sense into you." Ring a bell? The PTSD is a direct result of the system response to various actions taken by parents or other individuals in "powerful positions". The child becomes immobilized by the actions of the parents as the parental actions are in direct opposition to what the child believes is normal. The child then responds internally to avoid what the child preceives as "wrong". The cycle is almost endless. Strange as it may seem...you need to continue to study these children...for years...and determine if there is a correlation between serious and persistent mental illness and the actions taken by parents years before the onset of the long term illness. I am of the opinion, having worked with SPMI adults for 35 years the difference between those who improve and those who do not is based upon the quality and quantity of abuse-neglect as a child because of the perceived differences.
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09:32 AM on 02/22/2012
Hardly surprising after reading the hundreds, if not thousands, of abusive comments in relation to the story on Zach Avery yesterday. There's nowt like gender non-conformity to terrify adults apparently. Sadly they pass this fear onto their kids who themselves become part of the abuse cycle.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rwsmetros
05:01 PM on 02/22/2012
The story about Zach Avery was absolutely insane. A 4 year old making a decision about their sexuality, long before puberty, is like allowing them to make decisions about playing with fire or razor blades. The parents are behind him on this? Go ahead jr. fire is pretty and it's ok to set the place ablaze. Look at the razor blade, it's shinny, what a nice toy. The thing that was surprising is the comments from people who agreed with these parents, who never heard of the "age of reason"!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Conuly
07:01 PM on 02/22/2012
LOL, how is it at all the same as playing with fire or razor blades? He's going to burn the house down? He's going to cut himself?
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06:37 AM on 02/23/2012
Oh hello, let me highlight the most obvious problems with your reply:

1) A 4 year old didn't make a decision about their sexuality.
2) What on earth has sexuality got to do with anything?
3) Sexuality and gender are entirely different things.
4) Regardless, a 4 year old didn't make a decision about their gender either.
5) The parents acted on medical advice.
6) Said medical evidence was based on an extended period of observation and various GID diagnostic criteria defined by the ICD-10.
7) This criteria is based on decades of research which suggests pre-pubescent kids with GID who are forced to repress their innate feelings go on to develop PTSD and personality disorders during their teenage years.
8) When kids are at risk of developing such serious, lifelong disorders, it would be irresponsible for parents and Doctors not to act.
9) If you want to fly a flag for the "age of reason", it would be helpful if you knew what you were talking about so that you were actually capable of "reasoning".
10) Have a nice day.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sean Lawlor
09:20 AM on 02/22/2012
"Roberts tells WebMD that the reason these kids are at higher risk for abuse and PTSD is unknown, and more research must be done to determine."

...really? We live in a heteronormative, patriarchal society defined by gender and sexuality and terrified by anything outside the norm. If anything, I would be interested in a study that reveals why kids aren't subjected to abuse at a HIGHER rate.
Sableknows
Button Pusher
05:41 PM on 02/22/2012
You musta went to K.U.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sean Lawlor
08:23 PM on 02/22/2012
Not sure what that is?
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